Inside Of Me

I got caught selling drugs in an intense dream that I had last night.

I have been thinking about money but I also think it was a conversation that I had with a colleague about her ex-boss who got caught embezzling that set the stage for that dream.

When I got discovered selling drugs, I told myself -- You thought you had money problems; now you really have problems...

Before yoga on Monday, Alison handed me a necklace. I had forgotten all about the Shiva Lingams that we'd picked up at the Crystal Festival back in September.

When I saw the necklace, talisman popped into my head. Alison told me that she could adjust the placement of the charms and put them all at the bottom but I like them where they are...

I am finishing up Downtown Abbey, Do Your Om Thing and I just finished watching Minimalism: A Documentary About The Important Things. I have enjoyed them all.

Still thinking about Carrie Fischer and Debbie Reynolds. Am I surprised? No. My great aunt and her daughter died hours apart. Life is beautiful, very weird and hard etc.

I feel like there's a little minimalist inside of me. Now, I just need to unearth that little one so that no one needs to deal with my clutter when I'm gone.

How I Look

Two weeks ago, my Aunt Al said that my hair was cute.

I have more hair on top of my head than I've had in the last ten years and not because I wanted a change; I struggled to make it to the barber. Friday's really the best day but after working all week I fell knackered and don't feel like waiting around for a haircut.

Saturday's been all about bicycling. Guess I could go on Saturday evening but I figured that the world wouldn't come to an end if my lining wasn't precise and my hair was a little shabby and the funny thing about growing my hair is that it now takes twice as long for a haircut.

Two days ago, my Aunt Al asked me how long I was going to let my grow then You look like a totally different person which is totally appropriate because I feel like a different person. I'm occupying some weird space -- almost in some kind of hyper observant mode. I'm still having weird dreams too.

Last night, I had a camera that worked and stored pictures but I couldn't access them. Billie Holiday sculptures also made it into my dream and I haven't listened to any Holiday in a very long time.

And, Finally...

Another bad dream:

I'm in a school setting and there's a child that's in my care and the child stabs someone with an ink pen. I remove the child from the situation and take them to another adult and I warn the adult about the child's behavior. Again, the child stabs with a writing utensil. The ritual of taking the child is repeated again.

Bizarre and disturbing but here are some things that have moved me lately.

I like the "Mike Brown" card that Mary Engelbreit created. 

Engelbreit said When situations turn horrible and I find it hard to move on, I usually draw my way through it....

Enjoyed Drugs, a Daughter, and Death: Mark Twain's Final Years, an Aloud podcast.

Favorite line: She (Isabel Lyon) would fluff his (Mark Twain's) hair.

Also enjoyed Yoga, Meditation in Action -- Krista Tippett's conversation with Seane Corn.

Corn says:

In the practice of yoga when you're releasing the tension organically through the practice of asana day in and day out, the emotions that are embedded in our cellular tissue begin to arise.

Corn also said something intriguing about manifestations of our collective thoughts.

Line that stuck with me from Luis Alberto Urrea's book: "To your right, the fabled American border."

And, finally, found this gesture very touching.

RT @jasonkCNN: A line of roses lines the street where Michael Brown was shot. #Ferguson pic.twitter.com/bGHD6QIa95
— Ripplets, Monica (@Blike_Dante) August 22, 2014

Not A Good Thing

Had a dream that my car was acting up and when I pulled over and looked under the hood, everything was elevated and there was a water faucet with a thick stream of water coming out. The car hadn't stopped running yet but I knew that the whole water coming out was not a good thing.

Another no-brainer dream... I'm worried about my car and wonder how much more mileage I'll get out of it.

Before I went to bed last night, the protest in Ferguson was described as, largely, peaceful and it's still being described that way but imagine my surprise when I woke up and checked out the Twitterverse and learned that 47 people had been arrested.

The most disturbing news, recently, is about the St. Ann, MO cop who pointed his assault rifle at a protester and said I will fucking kill you. Get back.

Just Pedal...With Consolations

Ever since Patti started training for her Bike MS event, she's been inviting me to go bicycling and I finally took her up on her offer. Mind you, I've been bicycling sporadically and the last time that I went (on Sept. 4th) a mere nine miles wore me out.

I had a dream last night and, in the dream, I woke up late, forgot to eat breakfast and damaged my bike at the library. Not sure why I made a pit stop at the library.

We ended up doing approximately 28 miles which is the longest mileage that I've racked up in one bicycling outing. I like the art of the drive-by and I'm usually done with bicycling in about an hour or an hour and a half.

At one point, it felt like I was in The Twilight Zone. I thought I was pedaling but didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. I was so relieved when Crystal said something about a subtle hill.

During the last leg, when I felt like we would never get back to the finish line, I told Patti to just go ahead; it was an offer that I extended multiple times because I just ran out of steam. I kept telling myself to just pedal and, eventually, I'd get back to where I started from.

When we finally got towards the end of our ride, Crystal said If it's any consolation, we're close. Although, Michelle did challenge her, very funnily, about what constitutes close.

Michelle also chimed in to say that when she first bicycled that kind of mileage, it was tough but now it's easier. Duly noted...

Patti was coaching me along at the end. You are going to be so proud of yourself when you make it to the end and, later, We are doing this for our health... She also kept trying to distract me with nature which worked...a little.

Nickel Plate Trail

Postscript: Crystal has some gadget and reports that we rode 29.8 miles.