I Like the Way He Killed Him or The Gospel According to My Aunt Al (Second Edition)

This coffee mug pretty much mirrors how I feel. No matter how many self-care activities I've engaged in, I've pretty much lost my patience and a whole lot of goodwill by Friday. I was going for my calm-the-nerves Friday afternoon coffee when the mug slipped out of my hand. One of my friends gave it to me a long time ago. I'm gonna try not to think about broken things and, instead, think about how my aunt amuses me...

The problem with having kids when you're young is that they grow old with you.

You've got a problem; You need to stay out of those stores.

My aunt to my cousin who loves to shop.

My cousin: I have two pairs of brown boots. I need some black ones.

My aunt: You'll probably get them soon. (To me) She doesn't have too many wants.

The store ain't no joke. You wanna get broke; go into the grocery store.

Deals ain't got shit that's a dollar anymore.

I'm not eating that; it's for fat people.

After quitting beer, my aunt starting hitting the Neapolitan ice cream hard so I bought her some reduced fat ice cream but she didn't quite go for it...

They're not meant to last forever.

To me after saying that I don't plan on buying another car for a very, very long time.

When Leatha gets concerned, everyone should be concerned.

My aunt re: her sister who is usually unshakable.

I've been taking care of me for a long time.

Re: my cousin's offer to handle things if my aunt runs into problems post-retirement.

If she says that she has four, that means she has more.

My Aunt Al after my cousin window shopped for another reversible leather jacket.

Boy, she's wearing that bed out.

My aunt on Carrie after Mr. Big leaves her at the altar in the Sex in the City movie.

I liked the way he killed him.

After Robert De Niro's character assassinated William Fichtner's in Heat