Me (inside voice): Thank God; that explains the ten pound (three month) increase in weight.
Student MT: I wish that I had 30 more minutes to work on your back.
Me: (Vigorous laughter) Um, yeah, I wish you had 30 minutes too.
Friend (HC): As my mentor likes to tell me, it's not you; it's human nature.
As we were leaving:
Me: You don't have to walk this way.
Acquaintance: Hey, don't try to monopolize all of the exercise.
Me: (I perform a 360 degree turn).
Barber's mother: I'm talking to you; you've lost more weight. You don't even look like yourself anymore...
What kind of stuff do you like to hear?