Why Is The Banana Bent? or More Stuff People Say To Me

I must have asked a lot of questions this day because my colleague told me about an expression the Germans have which, basically, translates to Why, why, why is the banana bent?

It sounded much better in German.

Just ignore him. He could swim all night.

A swimmer about his lane partner. I was huffing and puffing as I watched his friend do the front crawl and rock the bilateral breathing.

Woman in the locker room (who had just finished dressing her hand baby in layers of puffy clothes) with a sheepish expression on her face: I forgot my undergarments.

Me: It happens.

Woman: It's a good thing I'm going straight home.

We're opposites; you're at 12 and I'm at six. A colleague on our astrological differences.

Those walls are not going to climb themselves.


David to me as I waited on a route to open up.

You have a lot of conflicts.

Wynne to me as I was telling her how I used to struggle with my harness when I first bought it.

I'm done.

A massage therapist unceremoniously ending a session.

Bruce: Are you lead certified?

Me: Not yet. I don't climb 5.9's cleanly yet.

Bruce: You definitely want to take your time. There's no need to rush it.

Dave: Yeah, I always say "No Zero to Hero." Rock climbing is about fun. It's about the journey. I have so many other things in my life that are hard. I want this to be about fun...

Me to friend: Did you volunteer?

Friend: I was VolunTold.

When your weight varies by three pounds, it's not a weight gain but, if there's a 10 pound difference, that's officially a weight gain.

Next door colleague