Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Turkey and Spit Sandwich or Overheard...

I spent nearly two hours in traffic court. Since the judge went in alphabetical order, I was the last one on the regular docket. A big up, though, to the law firm who told me to go to court for one ticket and ask for a continuance on the other one. I keep thinking about what I could have spent traffic ticket money on but it's too late for that. Here's what I overheard in court...

  • Please tell me that you didn't drive here...They're always in the car, aren't they?

    The judge to a woman with a suspended license who said that her brother had driven her and was waiting in the car.

  • Don't do that.

    The judge to a 19-year-old who was putting his new court date in his Blackberry but after the judge warned everyone to turn cell phones off.

  • I can't be anymore magnanimous than that.

    The judge telling a man that if he produced certain papers his fine and points would be reduced.

  • Judge: Where do you work?

    Offender: On The Hill.

    Judge: Can I still eat there?

    Offender: Yes.

    Judge: And get a turkey and spit sandwich...

  • I didn't run into it. The truck did.

    A woman without insurance whose car somehow moved from parked position.

  • I need to see proof of insurance -- six months -- no Rodney D. Young-30-day- insurance.

    The judge

  • That's my anniversary date. I've been married for 37 years; those were six of the best years of my life...


  • Offender: I'm guilty. I did it.

    Judge: So, there's no need to shine the bright lights in your eyes?

  • We already sent you to driving school. What's wrong with this picture?


  • It was amended to littering.

    The judge to the court clerk on an offender's charge been reduced from points.

  • You're going to be in tall cotton...

    The judge to an offender who had racked up over $700 in fines. If he produces certain documents, his fines and points will be reduced.

  • My six months of French paid off.

    The judge re: his flawless pronunciation of an offender's name.

  • The representatives from the driving school are sitting out there near the...


  • If you've never been on time for anything, trust me: you want to be on time for driving school. They lock the doors when class starts.


  • Judge: How do you plead?

    Offender: Guilty with an explanation. My speedometer was broken.

    Judge: The o...l...d broken speedometer defense. Even the bailiff thought that was funny and he's not easily amused... You know that you're responsible for the repair of your car?

  • Although she didn't show, Gladys Knight was on the docket. You know the judge couldn't resist making references after he called her name...

    No comments:

    Post a Comment