Thursday, December 29, 2016

Inside Of Me

I got caught selling drugs in an intense dream that I had last night.

I have been thinking about money but I also think it was a conversation that I had with a colleague about her ex-boss who got caught embezzling that set the stage for that dream.

When I got discovered selling drugs, I told myself -- You thought you had money problems; now you really have problems...

Before yoga on Monday, Alison handed me a necklace. I had forgotten all about the Shiva Lingams that we'd picked up at the Crystal Festival back in September.

When I saw the necklace, talisman popped into my head. Alison told me that she could adjust the placement of the charms and put them all at the bottom but I like them where they are...

I am finishing up Downtown Abbey, Do Your Om Thing and I just finished watching Minimalism: A Documentary About The Important Things. I have enjoyed them all.

Still thinking about Carrie Fischer and Debbie Reynolds. Am I surprised? No. My great aunt and her daughter died hours apart. Life is beautiful, very weird and hard etc.

I feel like there's a little minimalist inside of me. Now, I just need to unearth that little one so that no one needs to deal with my clutter when I'm gone.

Saturday, December 24, 2016


Float Center Lobby
My days are all  messed up.

Went grocery shopping last night since I did not want to shop on Christmas Eve. Did part of my shopping at Target and when  I got in line this woman matter-of-factly told me that her husband is ornery and that he contests everything. "I'm telling you this so you won't get angry."

And sure enough, he did exactly what she said he was going to do so I moved to another line...

I don't usually go to yoga on Saturday but there was one class being offered and it was at 10, a feasible time. Class was jam packed and a good look at what January will be like.

Annie's reminder of the day -- the real gift to our peeps is true love and presence. Roger that, Annie...

Hadn't planned on it but I when I saw that this floating place had evening appointments, I booked a float for today. I had gotten a group coupon package which was going to expire on Dec. 29th and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get one in next week.

I am so relaxed and sleepy right now.

On Friday one of my coworkers gave our little department some cookies and coffee -- such a sweet gesture. She also gave me an eco-friendly blanket that will work great for yoga. When I got the studio the props are already there but when I practice at the gym, I take my own props. I wasn't expecting a gift from my coworker but...

Thursday, December 22, 2016


Realized that part of me had been balled up since Nov. 7th when I caught myself singing in the shower after swimming.

Also, I have been trying to figure out what lesson I'm supposed to learn from this toxic person that I have to be around and the easiest takeaway is to not be like that person but the deeper takeaway is that I can still have peace "that surpasses understanding" while I'm around this person even though many parts of this person is constantly rampaging....

Went to Zumba tonight and it was a super fun class even though there were only five of us there, including the instructor.

Said instructor, Candice, announced that she had reached 12,000 steps midway through class.  When I shrieked What?!, she said that it was her second class of the day.

After class her friend, Martha, said that she had 16,000 + steps but then she said that Alex was kicking their butts. What?!

I asked Martha how she got in 16,000 steps and she said that she takes the long way to the bathroom at work and climbs the stairs instead of taking the elevator. She also parks at the back of parking lots like Gingerzingi.

I do all of these things but, apparently, not enough. Seeing that 16,000 number on Martha's Fitbit was very inspiring. I'm totally upping my game.

One of Candice's favorite cool down songs is Justin Bieber's What Do You Mean? When I found out that it was Bieber's song, I cringed but then it reminded me of something that the 'Fugee said a while back -- You can still love your friends without them being perfect.

In my defense, I think it's the clock sound that draws me to the Bieber song.

Monday, December 19, 2016

And The People Gathered

A friend of the family's husband was ill with cancer and, when his health started to decline, people started to gather, including the friend's sibling and aunt.

The aunt has a touch of dementia and when she visited my aunt Alice recently, she didn't say anything until it was time to leave and then she said We're the last ones, Alice and, indeed, they are. She is the third of four children as is my aunt Alice and neither one of them have any siblings left.

I left work early to rendezvous with my mother. Saw this woman in a truck looking at us and she finally stopped and asked if we were going to the funeral. She couldn't find the street and so she followed us. That's how small the "village" is that I come from. 

The first memory of the family friend that popped into my head was of her at my grandmother's funeral telling how my grandmother used to walk her and my youngest aunt, Debbie, to school. 

I saw my  childhood friend Pookie and when Debbie saw my friend, she tried to remember her real name and Pookie said something like "Why change it after all these years?" I looked around at the crowd and saw Debbie's school friends which I found quite endearing.

The funeral was sad and it wasn't. Everyone talked about what positive energy the deceased had. One of his friends gave such a touching tribute and almost slayed me when he started singing The Twelfth of Never.  

The friend of the family got up last and said the word she kept thinking of was grateful -- she was grateful for the time that she had with her husband and grateful for all the people who've supported her in the last six months...

Went to yoga and there were only about seven people in a class that usually has about 27. I told Joy that it was perfect weather for nesting -- drinking warm beverages and reading. Joy said And, yet, you came to yoga. And I did. I'd done on about 10 minutes while I was tucked away over the weekend so, yeah, I was jonesing for an hour-long yoga practice. 

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Stay Home If You Can

Had our annual holiday party at work and we were allowed to leave at 3:00 p.m. but I left about 3:30 after attending to something that couldn't wait then headed to the 'Fugee's sister's to pick up her keys. Noticed that the precipitation was freezing on my window but didn't think much about as I hadn't heard about any advisories but not too long after I arrived at the 'Fugee's sisters, the 'Fugee's nephew called his sister to see if she could find an alternate route for him but when she pulled up Google Maps, every route was congested. Ice...

Turkish Coffee While Waiting for Road Conditions to Improve
We listened to the forecast and the meteorologists and the department of transportation were urging people to stay home ALL weekend.

Stayed with the 'Fugee's family for three hours then carefully made my way to the car and slowly made my way home as did everyone else that was on the road. There was not a daredevil to be found on Friday night.

There was a window of opportunity this morning before more weather hit at noon so I headed to the store and stopped by the 'Fugees. As I checked her mail, I could feel someone, energetically, behind me -- a neighbor checking to see if the 'Fugee is okay and wanting to know if she left because of the election; she did not.

I did get in a short walk before noon but, otherwise, I've been in the house all day. Because I didn't have much time to mull over cooking options, I opted to gather ingredients for the simple tofu stir-fry below. Also bought ingredients for a veggie quiche. What else did I do? A bit of tidying up, a bit of yoga, a bit of reading...

Doubled The Tofu
I've been thinking about people who've been able to execute great ideas, including Alyssa Ravasio and Trevor Tice, the founder of Core Power Yoga, who was recently found dead. Someone on Twitter said that the latter event sounded like a job for Matt Bolster.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016


Dragged myself out of bed at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday. Also cannot manage to make it to work at the time that I usually do. I need a handler...

Had a really good yoga class on Monday night and, afterward, Joy handed me a calendar filled with pictures of our Jamaican retreat. Nice surprise...

Before swimming yesterday, I imagined asking the minister who also swims what does he say to despairing church members but then I also imagined that swimming is his form of meditation and time away from despairing people. The minister wasn't at the pool  but the man who is one of the youth coaches and who recently had surgery and whose wife said he shouldn't be alive was there after a long hiatus.

I took my foggy glasses off and it wasn't long before they hit the floor. One of the teenage lifeguards picked it up and I was touched by that simple act of kindness. I asked her how she was doing and she said tired because of a swim meet and her home was no respite because her brothers are always on PlayStation and screaming like banshees...

Went climbing with Mike and Patti; we all had good climbing nights...

Some asshole hit my car while it was parked even though I've gone out of my way to park at the back of parking lots and away from people who can't park straight and, of course, they didn't bother to stick around. Not an earth-shattering amount of damage but it still sucks.

One of dramatic coworkers likes to ask Is everything under control? Today he said something about wanting to be a worry-free dolphin and also taking his wisdom from the trees who don't worry about bills and housing. Mmmm, okay.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

The Wayside

At one point I was doing a few minutes of yoga in the morning but that's fallen by the wayside. I've also been intending to more yoga at home by working on a few poses but that hasn't happened.

What has happened is that I spotted Do Your Om Thing in one of BookBub's mailers. I borrowed the book from the library but I also purchased an e-book version  as my sticky notes were getting out of hand and I'd like to refer to portions of the book later.

What also happened is Geeky Fun with Hindu Deities, a Yogaland podcast (with Andrea Ferreti) and, next thing you know, I ordered Hinduism for Dummies. Maybe I will get around to deepening my practice.

I'm a little weary today but trying not to yield to that mood...

I was moved by Mary Elizabeth Williams' I Won't Let Cynicism Win but could not bear to finish Sarah Kendzior's Letter to Trump Supporters...

I've tried to watch Chelsea before and couldn't get into it but I did watch quite a bit of the episode, Dinner Party: Going to Prison; she talks to members of the Orange Is The New Black cast. Uzo Aduba said something about trying to figure out her place and Chelsea Handler responded:
"Well, we're always trying to figure out our place. Even when we have a place, we're like -- Am I supposed to be here?"

Also, like this Instagram post.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016


Abandoned Towel
In many ways, Monday night yoga continues to be good for me and helps ease the re-entry into the work week but, physically, yesterday's practice was a little intense and I found myself annoyed and wanting something more gentle but I guess no one can have what they want 100% of the time.

Patti asked me how I dealt with going swimming in the fall/winter and I told her that the pool deck is usually nice and warm and that I just bundle up afterward. She must have believed me because she went swimming today and loved her time in the pool.

Most of my pool people were prompt tonight. Dale gave a pep talk about pacing and I explained to Sean that Dale doesn't do laps and is, therefore, joking. David and I shared a lane and, about 13 laps in, I knew that Sean would be finishing up and after he got out, David moved over into that empty lane so I was able to stretch out a bit.

Swimming, thankfully, put me in a more peaceful state. Tried to play around with my DBPower but couldn't get it to turn on. There's something about the waterproof case that's off. At any rate, here are a couple of pictures that I took from inside the Blue Hole while in Negril. The pictures are not bad. I just hope that I can figure out what's wrong with the waterproof situation.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

The Dream About Roses

On Thursday night, I dreamt about roses -- red roses. Even though it's almost winter, the backyard was full of opened up ones...

Was talking to Joy about Jamaica and she's trying to get back before the end of the year which, of course, made me start dreaming and looking at flights. I could leave tomorrow for approximately $242 (one way) but the return trip is the problem. I haven't gone through the proper channels to get time off and I wouldn't want to burn all of my vacation time in two months...

Went swimming last night and the house was packed. I ended up sharing a lane with David -- David of the mile goal every time he hits the pool. I had a swimmer to the left and right so that made me hunker down.

Patti, my rock climbing buddy, doesn't really like to swim and hasn't been in the pool in over a decade but decided that she would join the Y because she says that she needs to do some other activity. At first she told me that she was going for a lunchtime swim but that didn't happen so she was hoping to go later on in afternoon so I posted a 'gram with the picture below asking her if she'd gone swimming too. There has been no response yet.

The Inquiring 'Gram 
And since I still have a Jamaica hangover, here are more pictures from my trip. We spotted the first guy carrying a bazillion eggs and bicycling. Needless to say, there would have been egg all over the road had I attempted to transport in this manner. The second picture is of one of the boat crew members who kicked up into a headstand "just like that."

Green Fence and Eggs

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

How To Keep Swimming

Went swimming last night and the new tribe of three was there. The one guy mentioned Errol Flynn and Jamaica again. I talked to his buddy as our feet dangled in the water and neither one of us was particularly enthusiastic about swimming laps but we both got in and I kept swimming because my lane neighbor kept swimming.

At some point, the Flynn fan introduces himself as Dale then tells me a "joke" which he is prone to do:

Two men wash up on the shore and they don't speak to each other for 50 years because they were never properly introduced.

Dale is a retired math teacher and tells me some formula regarding swimming and burning calories which might be true for fast swimmers but not for me. Dale's friend and my lane neighbor, David, swam a mile and he thought that I should have been close to a mile but I wasn't.

Dale and David exited the pool and I kept my eye on the male kid who takes swimming lessons and whose mother takes him to the locker room. The kid exited the pool and his teacher gave a long synopsis of the lesson. I waited to go to the locker room to give the mother a chance to get her kid ready and ended up swimming longer than I intended to and, by this point, I feel that my body has molded itself to the water and I'm reluctant to get out but I want to go by Target and it was almost 9:00 p.m...

On another note, I'm having dreams of going to Kripalu for a month and when I go to Kripalu, I will dreadlock my hair. One of my colleagues tells me that people in Spain call dreadlocks -- rastas and I think that's super cute...

I finished reading The Twelve Tribes of Hattie and now I'm reading Do Your Om Thing. Think it's kind of funny that I'm only on page 25 but the book is already saturated with cat page markers.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

A.K.A. Paradise or Yoga Retreat in Review, III

When I was in San Diego, the weather man said It's going to be another gorgeoussss day. Felt that way about day seven in Negril a.k.a. paradise.

We went to The Cliff Hotel on Friday to practice yoga and to have breakfast. I had been thinking about getting a massage at another hotel but it worked out for me to get one at The Cliff.

Outdoor Massage Space
The last yoga practice was sweet with equally sweet music. Joy did a Thich Nhat Hanh meditation that I like.
I am a flower; I feel fresh. I am a mountain; I am solid. I am like the (Caribbean) breeze; I feel free. 
Most of us were so serene after practicing yoga in such an awesome surrounding, that we tended to sit in complete silence after practice. You could really hear a pin drop...or the waves.

I found an opportunity to take pictures of my fellow yogis which I had been itching to do for quite a while without being disruptive.

The Conductor
Post-massage, I swam a few laps before it started to rain. Three children didn't care about the rain and it wasn't an issue because there was no lightning -- almost joined them.

At some point I remind my fellow travelers that they should check in with their airline but I had issues. I write down necessary information on the back of a Ganesha (remover of obstacles) card that I have in my wallet and when I get back on WiFi, I'm able to check in and I'm in Group B which is great...

Later on, when we meet for our final dinner, Joy makes a super sweet toast thanking us for coming and telling us how appreciative she is and how amazing we are... I'm totally registering at the high end on the warm and fuzzy meter at this point.

Photo Credit: Lorenzo from Lorenzo JAM Tours
*Love the picture that I took of Joy conducting class and also love Lorenzo's picture of us at the breakfast table.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

To Coo At You

Yoga at the Rockhouse
On the fifth day of the yoga retreat, I note in my journal that the music during yoga practice was on point again -- very soulful and mild. I also enjoyed the story that Joy told about Buddha's quest to reach enlightenment and how he was attacked by soldiers but their arrows turned into flowers...

We head to Booby Cay Island on the fifth day and stop for snorkeling along the way. The trip on the boat is super fun.

Regarding the election I've been told twice, by now, that it's in God's hands...

Some of us hang out at the resort's bar during the night and I talk with Bezu about how I am reluctant to be photographed and when I tell her why she says So what? She goes on to tell me that maybe it's because she was told so often during her childhood that she was beautiful that she doesn't care about being chubby and, furthermore, the chubbier you were as a child the better it was because people really wanted to pinch your cheeks and coo at you...

When I went swimming on Tuesday, thought fondly about my swimming lessons almost a decade ago and how I was the only one to show for the swimming class the day before Thanksgiving and how it was also the day that I figured out the backstroke.

Also thought about how I sprained my ankle on Thanksgiving last year so I was extra careful moving around today.

On Sunday Chiquita told me that she overheard my aunt Al say that I used to make cakes for her. I was going to wait until Christmas but why wait? Bought eggs, butter and soda at Target last night after Zumba and got myself in the kitchen to make a 7-UP cake for my aunt.

Monday, November 21, 2016


Returned to work after two weeks away and had not adjusted the kitchen calendar since Nov. 4th.

Isn't there a Frida Kahlo painting with a broken clock??? The hands don't work or something like that...

Felt like a stranger going back to work. My immediate colleagues were certainly happy to see me and it felt like they were welcoming the beast of burden back.

I came bearing modest gifts and notes:

Even monkeys fall out of a trees -- a Japanese proverb for my colleague who likes all things Japanese.

Asked for reusable bags for my birthday and said colleague gave me bags with Gudetama, a lazy egg, on them. Hilarious!

The note for my other colleague:
Those mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.
A bit presumptuous on my end to give someone that note but...

I miss Negril or, as I like to say, I have a Jamaica hangover. I want to get down on the floor and throw a tantrum that will possibly transport me back to the island...

Four people asked me about the 'Fugee who is off the grid but it just goes to show how we a.k.a. people are connected. The people can't get to her so they get to me.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

It's Jamaica OR Yoga Retreat in Review (Day Two)

Sunday, Nov. 6th

It's the official start of the yoga retreat with no yoga on tap but a welcoming circle.

I'm the only returning person from last year and it just goes to show how things change. One woman thought that she was returning, for sure, but her dear childhood friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she stuck by her side during the summer and, as a result, had no more time to take off from work. Another sign that you never know what's going to be in store for you or the people that you love. Carpe diem...

I did a superb job of packing since I had been mentally packing and purchasing stuff months ahead of time. My suitcase weighed 32.5 pounds and my carry-on bag with a tablet, snacks, paperback book and action camera was not heavy either,

Next time I will purchase and carry Teva sandals with straps. I like my Ahnu's for walking but when they get wet the sands clumps and they don't dry as quickly as advertised. When my Ahnu's were saturated, I wore my Teva Mush which I typically wear for house shoes but they don't feel supportive enough for walking about.

While waiting for the others to arrive, I had breakfast at the Rockhouse Hotel then did the farm tour.




Scotch Bonnet Peppers a.k.a. Scotty Bons a.k.a. Bonney Peppers
I did other things and though that the others should be back but it took a while for 10 people to make it through customs et al.

I get word that we are meeting in the lobby to go to dinner. One of my new buddies is starving but I warn her that dinner will take time. It's Jamaica and we're a big group. I had a very decadent and big plate of jerk chicken pasta, yum...

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Giving Away The Festival or Yoga Retreat In Review, Day One

Saturday, Nov. 5th

It's the day before most people arrive and a day before the official start of the yoga retreat. 

Three of us touch down before 1:00 p.m. in Montego Bay then have lunch at some place by the sea.

View During First Meal in Negril
I try to, unsuccessfully, weasel out of being in a photo and I am super self-conscious because one of the travelers is super-thin. I channel Turia Pitt and also remember the importance of being your own guru.

I have jerk chicken and give away the festival that came with it.

After lunch we drive up to a fruit stand where the owner cuts up mangoes and prepares coconuts.

Fruit Stand
We check in at the hotel then head to the beach and walk toward the sunset. 

Jill and Mark

Monday, November 14, 2016

Things I Miss

Whenever I travel by plane, I try to get my important papers together in case I never return -- my slight unease about airplanes, I suppose.

Of course, any day could be my last day...

The yoga retreat was amazing -- with the exception of the election results and it didn't matter whether I was in St. Louis or Negril, I was going to have to deal with that reality. Haven't read or watched much news but probably should not rely on that strategy for four years but it's hard to watch a troglodyte in action.

Before I left, part of my tribe at the pool told me about Errol Flynn's love for Jamaica which was not on my radar at all. I had no idea that Flynn had set aside money to conserve some of the land. One of the guys remarked that it was a pity -- God had given Flynn a good body and gifts and he had destroyed them. Looked for information about Flynn and came across this article in Vanity Fair.

I'm still processing my vacation, big time.

Still indulging.

I miss traveling around with 13 other people...makeshift outdoor yoga studios...warmth...the Caribbean Sea.

"Feel The Riddim In The Palm of Your Hands"

My Nikon Coolpix has been having battery door issues from the get-go as far as not closing and now part of the battery housing is actually coming off. I'm going to treat myself to a new camera -- one with wifi. I like taking pictures too much not to have a proper camera and I already regret not getting the sixth generation iPod with the better camera.

At our last dinner I ordered an ice tea that tasted sour. I kept trying to adjust to the flavor but finally decided to walk myself up to the counter and tell them that the tea didn't taste good. I asked for a fruit punch and when it arrived, it looked more like an alcoholic drink. I was about to give it way. Before I tasted it, the young lady next to me said You need to get what you want. I'm still learning not to settle and hope that it doesn't take a ton of lessons.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Somber Morning

The sound you heard in your neighborhood this morning was the sound of me sobbing in Negril.

Headed to get water from a cooler and didn't want to make eye contact with a Jamaican worker who was watching election results but when he managed to catch my eyes, he hissed Motherfuckers. I was embarrassed to be American at that moment.

Pulled myself together and headed to the lobby where Crissy handed me a note. She had given me a sweet note yesterday and explained that she was a second grade teacher and one of her parents was in the habit of sending her notes.

My Note
Joy hadn't watched the news and someone told her the results and I started sobbing again. Karen rubbed my back and told me to come and talk to her when I was ready. Debbie held my hand and Courtney, the other Black woman on the trip, gave me. a loving but firm pep talk.

Joy said something, including life goes on and we headed down the street to do yoga.

Joy immediately addressed the election and acknowledged that many of us were sad but also acknowledged that someone might also be happy with the results. She also talked about compassion for all including DT and how something good might come out of this situation in the end.

I cried in class as did Debbie who later told me that she thought about all the women in her family from her grandmother to her granddaughter but she also acknowledged that many in her family,  because of Catholicism, had voted for DT.

The class was exactly what many of us needed -- the right music, essentially oil, tone etc. Joy ended class by saying Don't fall for the habitual sidestep of your feelings. Feel. Absorb. Heal. Move on. Hold space for yourself...

Got an email from Alison telling me to enjoy the rest of my vacation and got another email saying "we're doomed" and yet another saying that it was really scary that DT had gotten elected. I also had someone ask me about the Negril situation and maybe we could do an EatPrayLove thing for a couple of years on a limited budget.

Later on, another yogi told me "All good things come to an end and all bad things come to and end." We also talked about how HC possibly could have done more by, say, going to Wisconsin or how we could have done more by campaigning or donating more money.

Someone also said that maybe DT's presidency might be like a Ferguson, MO moment. We also talked about how many pro-life people voted for DT but we also talked about how being pro-life covers a wide swath of lives.

I keep thinking about June Jordan and Sonia  Sanchez's poems about sadness. To quote Jordan, My sadness sits around me.

Stone I picked this a.m. -- supposed to help with bouncing back from sorrow etc...

Monday, November 7, 2016

The Day Later Post

Currently in Negril and had to get up before dawn cracked in order to get "the wanna get away" fare.

Couldn't sleep before taking off. My body was so tense and I kept telling myself to unclench and relax but never really slept until I got on the Orlando to Montego Bay flight.

We stopped to eat, checked in, settled in then headed to the beach to walk and watch the sunset. 

The other yoga retreat participants arrived today but I wanted to get to Negril earlier so I could recuperate from traveling. Like IKEA, traveling requires stamina.

My hamstrings were pulsing this morning so I did yoga in my room for twenty minutes since the official yoga games are not slated to start until tomorrow.

And, oh yeah, I was so emotional when I woke up this morning. Gratitude, I suppose, for reaching my destination and starting my relaxation regimen.

Since Joy was on airport duty for the other participants, I decided to visit a hotel up the street. Had breakfast then went on a tour of the farm where I sampled sea grapes, argula, cilantro, peppermint and was told a ton of stuff about Mother-In-Law's-Tongue et. al that I can't remember. 

The sea grapes were amazing and I can't wait to get my hands on them again.

*Wifi in room is spotty.

Thursday, November 3, 2016


The usual folks have not been at the swimming pool but I've acquired a new, small tribe. Are you coming on Friday? It's kind of nice to be held accountable. The one guy swims in the lane next to me and, very often, motivates me to keep submerging my body in pursuit of another lap.

My new-ish coworker, Katie, belongs to the same gym that I do and she also likes Zumba. We hoped that David would bring his A-list of Zumba songs since he tries to mix it up with a variety of playlists. The B and C-lists are okay but they are not as compelling to us as the one with the Get Dirty warm-up song.

Well, we didn't get any of David's lists because he wasn't there yesterday. Katie whispered to me We have a sub but I recognized her and didn't panic. Konnie's routines have a thousand steps in them. She's soft-spoken and kills you softly. I was happy as all get out when she played Thriller. That routine is super fun and that tune/dance was worth the price of admission...

When my alarm goes off in the morning, I turn on the TV and watch a bit of CBS This Morning. Had a total MLB hangover which was made worse by listening to a snippet of a focus group with Millennials.  This one woman said that she was voting for Trump and was trying to debunk the myth of the "deplorable" Trump voter then said, in part, that the divide in the country is due to the African-American president of eight years. I was so proud of the young man who said that her statement showed that she didn't know the historical narrative behind the divisiveness...

Talked to one of my coworkers about trying to do my best to tackle as many tasks as I can with integrity and to try to emerge unscathed but I also told him that it's impossible to wrap everything up in a tidy bow. Oh my, you should have seen the smile that spread across his face followed by a most sincere chuckle.

Monday, October 31, 2016

As Is

The Leaves
Missed out on part two of the mindfulness workshop at work because I was too busy. Asked one of my coworkers to take notes not knowing that she would be so mindful; I was touched because she did such a great job...

As I tried to wrap up the day, something unexpected came up and none of the people that I needed were responding but I stayed calm hoping for a favorable resolution even though I felt so alone with the problem. The situation resolved itself and I was proud for not panicking or being dramatic.

Went to yoga tonight and thought about Luther Vandross' Here and Now which is not the first time that this song has popped into my mind during yoga. Wish I knew why my brain frequently associates events with music.

Walked back to work after lunch. Perfect weather -- not warm and not chilly. I wanted to escape to Forest Park and just walk and walk.

While walking listened to a funny episode, Her Life For Ice Cream, of  The Sporkful with comedian Maria Bamford. Also finished listening to Dan Harris' interview with Rivers Cuomo on 10% Happier. I'm still trying to decide whether to download another episode of 10%...

Since I ready the article on Turia Pitt, I've started following her on Instagram where I found out that she did a Ted Talk; it's so inspiring and made me reset as far as having gratitude for my body as is.

Part of Coworker's Notes

Saturday, October 29, 2016


Was happy to see Candice back at the helm on Thursday. I fretted that the low attendance had gotten to her but it hadn't. The sub had reported back that the there was only one person last week and I told Candice that I had opted for the treadmill instead of a one-on-one session.

About two minutes into class, I was thinking that Zumba is much better than the treadmill and that's when Candice said Zumba is much better than the treadmill. Great minds...

There's a song, Cheap Thrills, that Candice plays and I wanted to build a playlist around it. Since Sean Paul sings in that song, I thought I would do a reggae-influenced list.

I like Busy Signal and saw that he is included in Reggae Gold 2015 so I ordered it from the library hoping to find other gold. Well, I found one other song that I like -- Oh Jah Jah. I was all kinds of confused because it said that the artist is Eddie Murphy and I thought it was just someone with a pseudonym and moved on until it kept crossing my mind. Imagine my surprise when I find out that it is comedian Eddie Murphy.

Went to Alisha's Zumba class today although the weather is extremely nice and summer-like but I thought, time-wise, it was my best move as opposed to a two-hour bike outing.

It was a cute class as some people came in costumes. Also saw Claudette who I hadn't seen in about three months. Claudette said that she has gained all of the weight back that she lost. I wanted to say Join the club and It's a battle or It's a journey... Either way, I feel her pain and struggle.

In other news I acquired a rock chip on the windshield of my seven-month-old car but found out that insurance will cover rock chip treatment. Made a claim online and was able to get it treated within an hour of the call. I would say that it's no money out of my pocket but I pay handsomely every month. Either way, I'm happy to have the repair out of the way before it gets cold.

Apparently, it's the month of glass because I also managed to drop my iPod hard enough that the screen shattered. Since I have a fifth generation iPod, the screen is not an inexpensive repair. The lowest price that I saw was $109.00 so I bought a refurbished one. Expensive mistake.

I care enough about music etc. that I didn't hesitate to get the new device. I did struggle with whether or not to get the six generation because it has a better camera but it's hard for me to throw financial caution to the wind.

One of the articles that I read before going to bed was about Aimee Copeland, the young lady who lost a lot of body parts to a flesh-eating bacteria which made me think of this quote You don't have any problems; you only think that you do.

Monday, October 24, 2016

I Am Not Those People

This woman...
I was torn between going bicycling with Alison or Patti on Sunday.

Patti has been inviting me to bicycle for a while and when someone asks me several times to do something, I think that they like my company or there might be another agenda. Patti also recently moved so maybe she wanted me to see her house. I said yes and met her for bicycling. Had the meeting point been closer, Alison would have gone.

I had to remind myself that it's good to mix-up things and do something different. I also got a glimpse of my past as I passed the exit that I used to take to go to hot yoga...

Patti offered me a helmet which I declined then she said that she didn't know what she would do if I had an accident and split my head open. I told her First, call an ambulance.

We set out and what I noticed about Patti and her other rider folks is that they don't do much pausing and I am definitely a stop-and-smell-the-roses-then-take-pictures-of-them-kind-of-rider. I should also say that Patti clips into her pedals so I'm sure that's one reason that she doesn't want to do a lot of stopping.

We did about 17.5 miles. When I'm in the car and notice mileage, I always give myself a little mental pat on the back for the miles that I rack up on bike  all the time knowing that there are people who put much more mileage on their bikes. But I am not those people. Therefore, back-patting.

I sighed, not pitifully, a few times and I had to dig deep to finish that bike ride. I think another factor was not knowing the trail and, therefore, not knowing landmarks so that I could gauge how close we were to finishing our ride.

Had a little post-ride lemonade kombucha with Patti then stopped by Aldi to pick up fruit then headed home to make chili. More back-patting.

On another note, I am about to throw in the towel as far as uncluttering goes. I'm feeling stuck and haven't really started. I remember reading something about not being afraid to ask for help. Think it's about that time.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Sounds About Right

Went to vote this morning then got sobered up by the number of people who had poured out of a shelter.

Since I was downtown, headed to Rooster but I could see that the windows were fogged up by all of the people inside. Plus, there were people waiting by the picnic tables outside even though it was chilly so I moved on.

When I got home, told Alison that I was on track to make it for Zumba and I'm so glad that I did. Walked in at exactly 11:00 a.m. and saw that Alisha, who is about 23 weeks pregnant, had on a Wonder Woman like costume. She looked so freaking cute. Why does she have more energy than I do and can still squat, bend and jump?

Went home and had coffee and lunch then headed to one of the bra shops that the other woman (who closed her bra shop) recommended. I walked in and the second bra shop woman, Heidi, was like What can I help you with? Um, a bra???

I told Heidi that I'd just been fitted for a bra and had the size and model and, as I talked, I could see her sizing me up and she kind of smiled and said I do want to measure you and, of course, she thought that I needed a totally different size than the one that I purchased at the other shop. I tried on about six bras. With some of them, it was like a wrestling match which was kind of funny and not.

When Heidi rang me up, I thought about my mother, aunts, grandmothers and great grandmothers who never dropped as much money as I dropped for a bra today but I consoled myself with the thought that I've had the same crappy bras for years and I've saved enough money by not buying bras on the regular. Yeah, that sounds about right, I guess...

Camouflage Bikini in Bra Shop

Bra Came with Reusable Bag

Thursday, October 20, 2016


View from the Dreadmill
Went to the gym for Zumba but when I peeked into the classroom, noticed that it wasn't Candice's profile. I was the only one who showed up so I told the sub that I was checking out. One-on-one Zumba, awkward.

Treadmill -- equally awkward. I didn't feel like putting my sweats back on to get my earbuds out of the car -- also awkward. Left my water bottle in the locker room and didn't go back to get it either. I just wanted to hit 10,000 on my Garmin.

Managed to stay on the StairMaster for about five minutes then got on the dreadmill. Read the captions for the annual charity dinner featuring the presidential candidates.

Didn't watch much of the debate last night because I was at Zumba but I caught up on Twitter later on and felt like Celeste Ng.

One of my favorite #trumpbookreport s:

Still can't believe that Trump called Clinton "such a nasty woman."

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Good Thing

Hit the pool and took my new toy. The guy in the next lane spotted it right away and wanted to know if it was a clock. I told him that it was a GoPro knock-off -- like way the hell knocked off.

After watching a bunch of You Tube videos and looking at reviews of other action cameras, I decided to go with the DB Power. It sounded like a decent camera and, if I destroyed it, I wouldn't have too many regrets. Of course, as soon as I hit the purchase tab, Amazon sent me other suggestions. I didn't even think about a waterproof housing for my Nikon. Live and learn...

The pictures are pretty decent. I cropped the one to the left so it isn't a true representation...

I was tired of swimming in an hour but the little boy who takes lessons was also done and I try to give his mom a chance to get him showered and dressed since there's no family locker room. I went seven laps beyond my goal of 20.

Totally stopped by the store at 9:00 p.m. because I was craving kombucha. Good thing that I had my wind down time in the pool.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

The Better Version

The 'Fugee is not on Instagram and neither is my cousin, Chiquita, for that that matter so I often send them 'grams that I find moving. The 'Fugee's response to the one below. My friend...loves this. She's right. I love "this" kind of stuff...

A photo posted by Humans of St. Louis (@humans_of_stl) on

I had no biking companion today so I decided to go to Zumba then to the bra shop because I couldn't make it to the bra shop during the week.

Went home and took a shower then headed out. Knew that it wasn't a good sign when I saw a note on the door. The owner had closed the store earlier than the dates she'd posted on her Facebook page. That was disappointing.

Found myself remembering the words of my play mother who happened to be at the airport as my aunt and I were headed to Las Vegas one year. My play mother lost her daughter in a freak accident and I will never forget what she said at the airport -- We're all going through something; I just try to keep my face off the floor...

Just an hour earlier, post-Zumba high intact, I had been quite happy. Situations don't always align the way that you want them to and that's that...

All Smiles After Zumba
And here's one more 'gram.