Why Is The Banana Bent? or More Stuff People Say To Me

I must have asked a lot of questions this day because my colleague told me about an expression the Germans have which, basically, translates to Why, why, why is the banana bent?

It sounded much better in German.

Just ignore him. He could swim all night.

A swimmer about his lane partner. I was huffing and puffing as I watched his friend do the front crawl and rock the bilateral breathing.

Woman in the locker room (who had just finished dressing her hand baby in layers of puffy clothes) with a sheepish expression on her face: I forgot my undergarments.

Me: It happens.

Woman: It's a good thing I'm going straight home.

We're opposites; you're at 12 and I'm at six. A colleague on our astrological differences.

Those walls are not going to climb themselves.


David to me as I waited on a route to open up.

You have a lot of conflicts.

Wynne to me as I was telling her how I used to struggle with my harness when I first bought it.

I'm done.

A massage therapist unceremoniously ending a session.

Bruce: Are you lead certified?

Me: Not yet. I don't climb 5.9's cleanly yet.

Bruce: You definitely want to take your time. There's no need to rush it.

Dave: Yeah, I always say "No Zero to Hero." Rock climbing is about fun. It's about the journey. I have so many other things in my life that are hard. I want this to be about fun...

Me to friend: Did you volunteer?

Friend: I was VolunTold.

When your weight varies by three pounds, it's not a weight gain but, if there's a 10 pound difference, that's officially a weight gain.

Next door colleague

...Because I'm Sweaty or Overheard At The Gym, V

People overvalue free.

A man having a discussion with a friend.

Last time we went (climbing), we had a vegetarian with us. Ugh, we had to make sure that every restaurant we stopped at had vegetarian options. The rest of us were, like, eating meat all the time.

Heard during locker room conversation.

Anonymous: Are you going to do that route again?

Jeremy: No, my wrists hurt.

Dane: I have a bucket of excuses; you want another one?

I scheduled all of my classes around climbing. Isn't that nice?, Dane

Your toes should not be flat but they should not be curled either.

One friend to another discussing impending rock climbing shoe purchases.

Female Climber on Auto Belay (to her partner): What are you doing?

Partner: Bouldering.

Climber to Third Party: So, if he kills himself, that means I'm single?

That was mucho sexy.

One climber to another who had just ascended this new 5.11 route

She stopped taking her medicine and decompensated...

Overheard in locker room

You're looking stable.

Bruce to Dave as Dave started lead climbing a route

I can't because I'm sweaty.

A Boy Scout and newbie climber's answer to someone trying to convince him to continue his ascent. He was about 3/4 of the way up a route but struggling.