Walking

Was listening to Choice Words with Samantha Bee -- the episode with Laura Dern and Diane Ladd when Bee said:

I sometimes feel that when you're walking just the movement of your legs lubricates it, like,...

And I was expecting her to say something about synovial fluid, instead she said:

It, like, lubricates your soul.

Guess that's true too. It's amazing what triggers your memory. Was listening to another podcast right before Bee's and the host was talking about how he'd take his mother shopping and they would meet back up hours later. It made me think about when my father would take me to the mall. He had very little patience for shopping so he would sit down somewhere and wait for me. Bee also talked about family secrets which made me think of a family secret that I was shocked to learn about and it also made me think of one of my favorite podcasts, Family Secrets with Dani Shapiro.

Chances

One of the hummingbirds that visits my zinnias.

It was 68 degrees when I woke up and all I could think about was how perfect the weather was for biking. However, the two people that provide me with relief from caregiving were busy today. Have to tell myself that, hopefully, this will not be the last time the weather will be nice and it will not be my last chance for bicycling.

I went walking instead.

Saw a hummingbird and that cheered me up.

Although I was not listening to Wiser Than Me, I keep thinking about the episode with Amy Tan who gives the advice that if you're able to, build a universal home. 

Problems

To say that life has been wild is an understatement. I bookmarked this tweet way back in January and it still resonates.

Don't know which statement is more true -- Kelsie's Snow's "no smooth sailing" or the commenter's one about excruciating anxiety and stress. 

I've been talking to my aunt about coming over so that I could get out for a swim. At first, I thought "What's the point?" Still, we finally set a date and I got to go swimming yesterday. Haven't been in about a year and the lifeguard said that he thought I was in Europe or something. How I wish that had been true. 

Swimming was great. Going to a couple of stores after swimming was also great. I felt light and free.

Recently watched an episode of Hoarders, Season 13, Episode 4, Carl. The organizer, Dorothy Breininger, said to Carl:

I really understand what it's like to care for a parent. 

I do caregiving for my mom. I did caregiving for my dad and I did caregiving for my sister.

So, it was always on me to handle the problems. And I want to say, I totally get it; that you have to handle all of the these problems and I'm so sorry about that...

I felt that deep in my heart. 

Recently

My view from the bench that I like to have a few, meditative minutes on during the middle of my walks. 

While walking, listened to the Sandra Cisneros episode of Death, Sex and Money and found it very touching. Also recently listened to two very sweet episodes of Feet in 2 Worlds: A Better Life? : "Call Your Elders and The Home Clock -- one about a Haitian family and the other about a family originally from Pakistan. Both episodes were recorded in 2020 at the height of the pandemic. Will probably listen to them all again and I also want to dust off The House on Mango Street.

Decided to cancel my Apple TV service but before it ended watched Ted Lasso again. Also watched Coda and got in a few episodes of Gutsy. Might revisit Apple TV but I've been, primarily, watching Hulu and don't want to waste money.

Finished my Virtual Mission birthday gift challenge. About 40 of the miles were bicycling -- the rest walking. It's hard to believe that I've gotten in over 300 exercise miles in two-ish months. My body did that... 😊

A Break

One of my aunts gave me a break from caregiving yesterday so that I could go bicycling. The weather was great (70-ish degrees) and, now that it's 35 degrees, I really appreciate that I had the opportunity to get out and go on an adventure. Needless to say: it was also wild that it was so warm in November.

I am such a casual bicyclist. Love to stop an eat an orange and listen to the Mississippi River... 

I'm doing a plank challenge and I'm pretty sure that it's the reason that I was able to make it up the hills. Still walked my bike up one but, overall, was pleased with my outing.

After returning home and sitting for awhile, I could feel the soreness in my body so I took the time to do yoga and focused on hip-openers. While doing frog pose, I totally said, "Ribbit."

Down-ish

Felt so isolated and lonely today and, in retrospect, my sleepless night surely amplified those feelings. 

Many people took advantage of the mild weather to get out leaf blowers and I wanted to smack each and every one of them.

In addition to twisting my right foot on a bur acorn and then a gumball, I also stepped on a branch that boomeranged and smacked my leg. Who knew that fall could be so ruthless?

As I walked and listened to Family Secrets, I was so angry that I reverted to early pandemic behavior of stepping into the bike lane or crossing the street when I saw other people.

On the last portion of my walk, I saw two people on the sidewalk and so I stepped off and, because I didn't feel like engaging, my head was down-ish and I had no intention of speaking. 

This woman looked at me, smiled and said so warmly, "Hello, Love, How are you?"

Pardon my obsession with zinnias...

When I think about it, I don't think that I tried to start any from seed last year. It's a good thing that I decided to start growing a batch inside because the seedlings are the only ones that seem to be doing well and this little batch of pink, purple and red makes me smile...

Went to see the sunflowers at the Columbia Bottom Conservation Area. 

What is it about a field of sunflowers that is so nice? The conservation area is very peaceful too and I was stunned to see a blue bird in the fields. How did I get to be "this many years old" and never see a Indigo Bunting bird?

Learned that the sunflowers are used to attract mourning doves in September as part of hunting season and that's really something that I wish that I could unlearn.