Walking

Was listening to Choice Words with Samantha Bee -- the episode with Laura Dern and Diane Ladd when Bee said:

I sometimes feel that when you're walking just the movement of your legs lubricates it, like,...

And I was expecting her to say something about synovial fluid, instead she said:

It, like, lubricates your soul.

Guess that's true too. It's amazing what triggers your memory. Was listening to another podcast right before Bee's and the host was talking about how he'd take his mother shopping and they would meet back up hours later. It made me think about when my father would take me to the mall. He had very little patience for shopping so he would sit down somewhere and wait for me. Bee also talked about family secrets which made me think of a family secret that I was shocked to learn about and it also made me think of one of my favorite podcasts, Family Secrets with Dani Shapiro.

Chances

One of the hummingbirds that visits my zinnias.

It was 68 degrees when I woke up and all I could think about was how perfect the weather was for biking. However, the two people that provide me with relief from caregiving were busy today. Have to tell myself that, hopefully, this will not be the last time the weather will be nice and it will not be my last chance for bicycling.

I went walking instead.

Saw a hummingbird and that cheered me up.

Although I was not listening to Wiser Than Me, I keep thinking about the episode with Amy Tan who gives the advice that if you're able to, build a universal home. 

Problems

To say that life has been wild is an understatement. I bookmarked this tweet way back in January and it still resonates.

Don't know which statement is more true -- Kelsie's Snow's "no smooth sailing" or the commenter's one about excruciating anxiety and stress. 

I've been talking to my aunt about coming over so that I could get out for a swim. At first, I thought "What's the point?" Still, we finally set a date and I got to go swimming yesterday. Haven't been in about a year and the lifeguard said that he thought I was in Europe or something. How I wish that had been true. 

Swimming was great. Going to a couple of stores after swimming was also great. I felt light and free.

Recently watched an episode of Hoarders, Season 13, Episode 4, Carl. The organizer, Dorothy Breininger, said to Carl:

I really understand what it's like to care for a parent. 

I do caregiving for my mom. I did caregiving for my dad and I did caregiving for my sister.

So, it was always on me to handle the problems. And I want to say, I totally get it; that you have to handle all of the these problems and I'm so sorry about that...

I felt that deep in my heart.