Deepen Your Practice

This was yoga teacher training (YTT) weekend (three). Also known as the weekend that I disappear.

Most YTTs advertise their training with the caveat that if you don't want to teach, you can do the training to deepen your practice. Of course, most trainers still want you to be able to teach. Although, I have heard tales of many emerging from trainings without the skill.

So, we broke off into groups of threes and were given a segment of class to lead and everyone had to be the leader of a segment at some point. I was sick to my stomach and I had company. My turn was today. I'm definitely glad that I didn't have to go first but it was also challenging to go last.

Stacy told us to "Fail magnificently..."

I am good at preparing "things" but not with a fifteen minute deadline. Because I'm fairly good in the preparation department, I'm willing to step up to the plate and, say, give a speech. Oddly enough, I felt comfortable planning for the opening (warm-up) sequence of class but had a hard time envisioning other segments, including strength and the cool down.

After we finished with our practice teaching, Stacy polled us to gauge our nervousness rate and she, for the most part, had been able to discern who would be the most nervous...

When I first started practicing yoga this woman named Kate subbed for one of my classes and one of my classmates wanted the lights off and Kate said that there was a lot going on for her as a yoga teacher in the role of teacher/observer. I can totally see that now. There are a lot of cues to give, and students to watch. Plus, you need to be able to go off script even if you prepared a sequence.

Training ended around 7:15 p.m. today. I went by the grocery store to pick up a few things and on the way home realized that I had forgotten bananas, yogurt and pineapple juice so I stopped at yet another store. It's kind of funny that I saw Stacy at the second store. She was like "You needed to see me again."

Decided to get Jonny Pops and the ones that I wanted, pineapple and coconut, were way in the back of the freezer. Thought about climbing to get them then nixed the idea. This clerk did exactly what I had thought about doing. He also gave me a coupon for one box free so I'm glad that I asked for assistance for once.

I’d Rather

Rolled out early this morning and got cooking out of the way since I was scheduled to meet Chiquita at the recreation center at 11:00-ish. I wasn't very optimistic that they would let me use her second guess pass since I'd already been there once but they did...

Had my eye on swimming -- even though Chiquita was going to be on the treadmill. Swam 10 laps because I wanted to shoot hoops too. I also went ahead with swimming because I knew that I'd be jonesing for it at some point in the week. 

I'd rather, informally, play basketball and walk/run after the ball than be on the treadmill. It was kind of funny that I hit the first five baskets that I attempted...

Decided to stop by The Sunflower Project since I would pass by Old North St. Louis on the way home. Thought the sunflowers were going to be big and chuckled when I stopped my car. Of course, they will be big sunflowers one day. 

Wanted to go by an outdoor pool but I also don't want to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Plus, I tend to feel like nesting on Sunday. So, I went home and stayed. Read a little and cleaned a little. It was also a "no" for observing a yoga class. I didn't feel like doing much of anything...

I like this poster that was on the natatorium's message board. For today, I guess that should be Why not stay at home?

The Eighth One

Finished reading The Body Keeps The Score and it feels weird but as Patti said On to other mind-expanding reads. There were so many truths/insights in this book:

Fear destroys curiosity and playfulness. (Pg 352)

I have seven of eight observations  (of a particular kind) done and I want to get the eighth one out of the way and had hoped that I would get up early enough to hit the 8:30 a.m. yoga class but I woke up then went back to sleep and when I woke up again it was 8:32 a.m.

Also wanted to go to Zumba but my uncle showed up unexpectedly and he was tackling the weeds which I am not very good at tackling. On any another day, I still would have been able to make it but my uncle needed electricity for one of his tools. So, no yoga observation and no Zumba.

Decided to workout to the Latin Zoom Cardio Workout which is available on Amazon Prime. I really like this workout but I need to replace my DVD player because I miss my workout DVDs and it's nicer to see the workouts cast from the TV. 

From zooming...

Ran quite a few errands today, including a stop at Talbots because when they have an end-of-season sale they really have a sale. This is the second time that I've tried on these capris. They feel a bit impractical. So, why do I keep trying them on? 

Got tired of listening to music during my errand marathon so I started listening to podcasts, including I Was More Angry At God featuring Jane Chung on Death, Sex and Money. Had already listened to it before but didn't mind listening to it again.

My hoarder tendencies extend to podcasts and I still have episodes from last year including The Moth's Denver Battle of the Slams. There was a bonus story by Cynthia Riggs and sponsored by Disrupt Aging that was added onto this particular episode. It is such a sweet story and is definitely going on my list of top Moth episodes...

Wanted to go the pool today but decided to stay at home since I've been running around a lot. Started reading Family Tree Magazine:

The enslavement of many African-Americans before the Civil War shut this group from legal personhood and the records this status entails. That includes newspaper mentions we're accustomed to finding on white ancestors: real estate transactions, probate notices, death announcements, and others. 

But mainstream newspapers didn't entirely ignore those who were enslaved -- especially when they tried to get away. (Jan/Feb 2018, pg. 27)

When I feel a little less overwhelmed, will try to start somewhere with creating a family tree...

Went to the park and I've seen this tent before and I've also seen camouflage in the form of tree branches with dead leaves. Today there were additional items. Overall, I just feel sad whenever I see this tent with the red top.

Familiars

Yesterday was Chiquita's birthday so I decided not to go to an exercise class so that I could unclutter and then be able to meet Chiquita after she came back from the movie theatre.

Years ago, I got Chiquita a glass wind chime for her birthday that she really liked but it was dropped at some point and I wanted to get her a replacement but couldn't remember where I'd gotten it from. Given what happened to the first one, I finally decided not to go with another glass one and spotted a fuchsia wind chime and, immediately, thought that Chiquita would like the funkiness of it  because she loves color but I was a bit put off by the length. Ran it by Patti and she said that if I really liked it to not be dissuaded. My climbing partner comes through again! Chiquita really liked it and the sound is really nice too. I found one a little bit shorter than the one I linked to.

As we talked, Chiquita continued to get texts. I used to get a lot of cards... I finished her sentence because I know the phenomenon now -- most people send a text instead of a birthday card. Even though card shopping annoyed me, the expense and wording, I'm glad that I'd persevered.


Chiquita also told me that my cousin, Katrina, was happy to see me at the fish fry. I noticed that she spent a significant time at our table but just thought she was being chit chatty. I was happy to spend time with her as well. When I was in junior high school, I was in the same class as Katrina's brother John during their stint in Illinois; they were military kids who traveled a lot. I don't think that I've seen John since junior high school, wow.

******

More whoa from The Body Keeps The Score:

Our sense of agency, how much we feel in control, is defined by our relationships with our bodies and its rhythms: Our waking and sleeping and how we eat, sit and walk define the contours of our days. In order to find our voice, we have to be in our bodies -- able to breathe fully and able to access our inner sensations. This is the opposite of dissociation, of being "out of body" and making yourself disappear... (Pg 333....)

Collective movement and music create a larger context for our lives, a meaning beyond our individual fate. Religious rituals universally involve rhythmic movements, from davening at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to the sung liturgy and gestures of the Catholic Mass to moving meditation in Buddhist ceremonies and the rhythmic prayer rituals performed five times a day by devout Muslims. (Pg 335)

In the yoga classes that I've observed, I've found it beautiful to witness other people practicing and it's hard to describe the feeling of joy that I get on Monday evening when I participate in Zumba class. The particular teacher sets a furious pace. We joke, laugh and groan together. I know very few of my Zumba mates' names but they are familiar -- as are the people at the pool, yoga studio and climbing gym.

The Tag Team

I've been referring to the weekend as 48 hours so that I can tame my expectations.

On Friday, Chiquita texted that my cousin Charles, the paternal patriarch, was having a fish fry and to let others know. Felt like I had to go even though there's the awkwardness of not knowing huge parts of my paternal kinfolks and maybe the awkwardness is why I needed to go...

Outside of the yoga class that I went to observe on Saturday, I stayed home until the fish fry. Not even sure what else I did that day.

I also promised Chiquita that I would go to the new recreation center that she is trying out. Chiquita is working with a wellness coach and has to get on the treadmill, specifically, four 35 minutes at four miles per hour. Because I despise the treadmill, I moved in the direction of the natatorium -- never heard it called that before...Swam for 30 minutes and put my swimsuit in one of those little water extractor machines; wish I had access to one all the time.

Chiquita was still on the dreadmill so I checked out a basketball. I love that the facility even has a modest rock climbing wall. They also have aqua yoga.

The facility is about 20 minutes away from me. Hmmmm....

My aunt D invited the family to church on Sunday afternoon since she was a deacon-elect. The preacher said that it was not a service and that he had already conducted several services earlier in the day but as the 'Fugee said when I told her that I'd been at church for over three hours -- Oh, preachers like to preach.

First up -- the friend of the bishop. He talked about an assignment (deacon, minister, elder) that comes with service. He also talked about assignment assassins which really resonated with me. I also like what he said about staying in the dark room (like with photography) and to stay in development. Also, prepare yourself before you present yourself. Couldn't agree more with the latter.

The bishop had me cracking up when he said You can take online courses but you need someone who has been anointed to teach you...

Favorite line after all of the elected clergy had gotten their bibles, necklaces and collars: The gates of hell have been notified that new soldiers are on the way. 

Favorite thing about this church -- the bishop and his wife are a tag team. 

My aunt getting her vestment.

The bishop on a roll...Also, I think this would make a great painting...

*******

During the fish fry on Saturday one of my cousins, Katrina, told me that I've been around the world. I wish. It's interesting that she said that because I was just thinking about how few countries I've been to. Of course, I'm grateful for the traveling opportunities that I've had.

Just a few of the peeps at the fish fry.

Love my cousin's Hall of Fame/Family Tree...

Parts of Me

I've been reading The Body Keeps The Score for, I dunno, two or three weeks. It's a very good book but page 282 brought the whoa factor. Guess there's a reason that this chapter is titled Putting the Pieces Together.

Coping takes its toll... (281) Yup, I believe that.

We all have parts. Right now a part of me feels like taking a nap; another part wants to keep writing... Most people who know me have seen my intense, sincere, and irritable parts; some  have met the little snarling dog that lives inside me. My children reminisce about going on vacations with my playful and adventurous parts. (282)

How well we get along with ourselves depends largely on our internal leadership skills -- how well we listen to our different parts, make sure they feel taken care of, and keep them from sabotaging one another. (282)

I love the concept of internal leadership skills and "the mind as a kind of society."

The critical insight is that all these parts have a function: to protect the self from feeling the full terror of annihilation. (284)

Seriously, my mind was blown to the point that I was like I should have been a therapist. The 'Fugee claims that she has told me this before -- that I should be a therapist...

******

Speaking of different parts, I bought a DNA kit -- largely because many people around me had done  the same thing.  Plus, after my aunt Al died, I got extremely curious about my paternal grandmother who I don't remember.

Had a gut feeling that I was part Senegalese and I was not wrong. However, according to the DNA results, the greater part of me is from Cameroon/Congo. What I wasn't expecting to feel is sadness but there you go; I'm feeling geographically scattered. I'm feeling the weight of the past -- especially with this current toxic environment...

******

Decided to observe a yoga class today since I needed two more observances before my August 10th deadline. Woke up at "prepare for work time" so I picked an 8:30 a.m. class and it turned out to be a really special experience even though I wasn't practicing. Kate talked about the blood moon and the eclipse. We didn't see the eclipse but that doesn't mean it wasn't there, she said.

Kate went on to talk about having faith and honoring yourself. Those are serious topics but most of her class is approached with humor and I like that a lot. Toward the end of savasana, she sung briefly and it was shocking, initially, but she has a great voice and she chose part of a folk song. The whole class was special and I'm glad that I got up to receive that gift.


*Of course I had concerns about putting my DNA sample out in the universe

The Trip

When I return from a trip, I like to review the travel information that I gathered just to see how everything aligned.

Probably could have traveled or gone about things in a more logical way but it was also fun to stumble upon stuff...

Went to the library when I returned from vacation to get cooking magazines and the Bon Appetit was interesting because of a little travel advice column:

If you're traveling with a group, split up the work, and play to everyone's strengths. Put your hyper-organized travel mate in charge of compiling flight info and Airbnb addresses. Ask your fashion friend to find the best local boutiques. If your food obsessed, reservations are on you.

Also:

Schedule Alone Time 

As an introvert masquerading as an extrovert, I love to plan vacations with other people, then promptly find ways to escape. This doesn't always go over well with my companions, but over the years I've learned how to do it gracefully and with intention.
Even if you claim to never tire of your best friend's shopping habit or your boyfriend's slothlike pace...

I don't see myself as hyper-organized but I do have some aspects of that personality...


Cannot believe that it was two weeks ago that I set off for the Las Vegas. Here are my favorite pictures from the trip.

Chiquita in one of the chapels at Caesar's Palace.

My intention was to capture the skyline but also got the couple.

Hoover Dam

Yellow, Hoover Dam