Inside Of Me

I got caught selling drugs in an intense dream that I had last night.

I have been thinking about money but I also think it was a conversation that I had with a colleague about her ex-boss who got caught embezzling that set the stage for that dream.

When I got discovered selling drugs, I told myself -- You thought you had money problems; now you really have problems...

Before yoga on Monday, Alison handed me a necklace. I had forgotten all about the Shiva Lingams that we'd picked up at the Crystal Festival back in September.

When I saw the necklace, talisman popped into my head. Alison told me that she could adjust the placement of the charms and put them all at the bottom but I like them where they are...

I am finishing up Downtown Abbey, Do Your Om Thing and I just finished watching Minimalism: A Documentary About The Important Things. I have enjoyed them all.

Still thinking about Carrie Fischer and Debbie Reynolds. Am I surprised? No. My great aunt and her daughter died hours apart. Life is beautiful, very weird and hard etc.

I feel like there's a little minimalist inside of me. Now, I just need to unearth that little one so that no one needs to deal with my clutter when I'm gone.

Holidaze

Float Center Lobby

My days are all  messed up.

Went grocery shopping last night since I did not want to shop on Christmas Eve. Did part of my shopping at Target and when  I got in line this woman matter-of-factly told me that her husband is ornery and that he contests everything. "I'm telling you this so you won't get angry."

And sure enough, he did exactly what she said he was going to do so I moved to another line...

I don't usually go to yoga on Saturday but there was one class being offered and it was at 10, a feasible time. Class was jam packed and a good look at what January will be like.

Annie's reminder of the day -- the real gift to our peeps is true love and presence. Roger that, Annie...

Hadn't planned on it but I when I saw that this floating place had evening appointments, I booked a float for today. I had gotten a group coupon package which was going to expire on Dec. 29th and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get one in next week.

I am so relaxed and sleepy right now.

On Friday one of my coworkers gave our little department some cookies and coffee -- such a sweet gesture. She also gave me an eco-friendly blanket that will work great for yoga. When I got the studio the props are already there but when I practice at the gym, I take my own props. I wasn't expecting a gift from my coworker but...

Ballin'

Realized that part of me had been balled up since Nov. 7th when I caught myself singing in the shower after swimming.

Also, I have been trying to figure out what lesson I'm supposed to learn from this toxic person that I have to be around and the easiest takeaway is to not be like that person but the deeper takeaway is that I can still have peace "that surpasses understanding" while I'm around this person even though many parts of this person is constantly rampaging....

Went to Zumba tonight and it was a super fun class even though there were only five of us there, including the instructor.

Said instructor, Candice, announced that she had reached 12,000 steps midway through class.  When I shrieked What?!, she said that it was her second class of the day.

After class her friend, Martha, said that she had 16,000 + steps but then she said that Alex was kicking their butts. What?!

I asked Martha how she got in 16,000 steps and she said that she takes the long way to the bathroom at work and climbs the stairs instead of taking the elevator. She also parks at the back of parking lots like Gingerzingi.

I do all of these things but, apparently, not enough. Seeing that 16,000 number on Martha's Fitbit was very inspiring. I'm totally upping my game.

One of Candice's favorite cool down songs is Justin Bieber's What Do You Mean? When I found out that it was Bieber's song, I cringed but then it reminded me of something that the 'Fugee said a while back -- You can still love your friends without them being perfect.

In my defense, I think it's the clock sound that draws me to the Bieber song.

And The People Gathered

A friend of the family's husband was ill with cancer and, when his health started to decline, people started to gather, including the friend's sibling and aunt.

The aunt has a touch of dementia and when she visited my aunt Alice recently, she didn't say anything until it was time to leave and then she said We're the last ones, Alice and, indeed, they are. She is the third of four children as is my aunt Alice and neither one of them have any siblings left.

I left work early to rendezvous with my mother. Saw this woman in a truck looking at us and she finally stopped and asked if we were going to the funeral. She couldn't find the street and so she followed us. That's how small the "village" is that I come from. 

The first memory of the family friend that popped into my head was of her at my grandmother's funeral telling how my grandmother used to walk her and my youngest aunt, Debbie, to school. 

I saw my  childhood friend Pookie and when Debbie saw my friend, she tried to remember her real name and Pookie said something like "Why change it after all these years?" I looked around at the crowd and saw Debbie's school friends which I found quite endearing.

The funeral was sad and it wasn't. Everyone talked about what positive energy the deceased had. One of his friends gave such a touching tribute and almost slayed me when he started singing The Twelfth of Never.  

The friend of the family got up last and said the word she kept thinking of was grateful -- she was grateful for the time that she had with her husband and grateful for all the people who've supported her in the last six months...

Went to yoga and there were only about seven people in a class that usually has about 27. I told Joy that it was perfect weather for nesting -- drinking warm beverages and reading. Joy said And, yet, you came to yoga. And I did. I'd done on about 10 minutes while I was tucked away over the weekend so, yeah, I was jonesing for an hour-long yoga practice. 

Stay Home If You Can

Had our annual holiday party at work and we were allowed to leave at 3:00 p.m. but I left about 3:30 after attending to something that couldn't wait then headed to the 'Fugee's sister's to pick up her keys. Noticed that the precipitation was freezing on my window but didn't think much about as I hadn't heard about any advisories but not too long after I arrived at the 'Fugee's sisters, the 'Fugee's nephew called his sister to see if she could find an alternate route for him but when she pulled up Google Maps, every route was congested. Ice...

Turkish Coffee While Waiting for Road Conditions to Improve

We listened to the forecast and the meteorologists and the department of transportation were urging people to stay home ALL weekend.

Stayed with the 'Fugee's family for three hours then carefully made my way to the car and slowly made my way home as did everyone else that was on the road. There was not a daredevil to be found on Friday night.

There was a window of opportunity this morning before more weather hit at noon so I headed to the store and stopped by the 'Fugees. As I checked her mail, I could feel someone, energetically, behind me -- a neighbor checking to see if the 'Fugee is okay and wanting to know if she left because of the election; she did not.

I did get in a short walk before noon but, otherwise, I've been in the house all day. Because I didn't have much time to mull over cooking options, I opted to gather ingredients for the simple tofu stir-fry below. Also bought ingredients for a veggie quiche. What else did I do? A bit of tidying up, a bit of yoga, a bit of reading...

Doubled The Tofu

I've been thinking about people who've been able to execute great ideas, including Alyssa Ravasio and Trevor Tice, the founder of Core Power Yoga, who was recently found dead. Someone on Twitter said that the latter event sounded like a job for Matt Bolster.

Okay

Dragged myself out of bed at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday. Also cannot manage to make it to work at the time that I usually do. I need a handler...

Had a really good yoga class on Monday night and, afterward, Joy handed me a calendar filled with pictures of our Jamaican retreat. Nice surprise...

April 

Before swimming yesterday, I imagined asking the minister who also swims what does he say to despairing church members but then I also imagined that swimming is his form of meditation and time away from despairing people. The minister wasn't at the pool  but the man who is one of the youth coaches and who recently had surgery and whose wife said he shouldn't be alive was there after a long hiatus.

I took my foggy glasses off and it wasn't long before they hit the floor. One of the teenage lifeguards picked it up and I was touched by that simple act of kindness. I asked her how she was doing and she said tired because of a swim meet and her home was no respite because her brothers are always on PlayStation and screaming like banshees...

Went climbing with Mike and Patti; we all had good climbing nights...

Some asshole hit my car while it was parked even though I've gone out of my way to park at the back of parking lots and away from people who can't park straight and, of course, they didn't bother to stick around. Not an earth-shattering amount of damage but it still sucks.

One of dramatic coworkers likes to ask Is everything under control? Today he said something about wanting to be a worry-free dolphin and also taking his wisdom from the trees who don't worry about bills and housing. Mmmm, okay.

The Wayside

At one point I was doing a few minutes of yoga in the morning but that's fallen by the wayside. I've also been intending to more yoga at home by working on a few poses but that hasn't happened.

What has happened is that I spotted Do Your Om Thing in one of BookBub's mailers. I borrowed the book from the library but I also purchased an e-book version  as my sticky notes were getting out of hand and I'd like to refer to portions of the book later.

What also happened is Geeky Fun with Hindu Deities, a Yogaland podcast (with Andrea Ferreti) and, next thing you know, I ordered Hinduism for Dummies. Maybe I will get around to deepening my practice.

I'm a little weary today but trying not to yield to that mood...

I was moved by Mary Elizabeth Williams' I Won't Let Cynicism Win but could not bear to finish Sarah Kendzior's Letter to Trump Supporters...

I've tried to watch Chelsea before and couldn't get into it but I did watch quite a bit of the episode, Dinner Party: Going to Prison; she talks to members of the Orange Is The New Black cast. Uzo Aduba said something about trying to figure out her place and Chelsea Handler responded:

"Well, we're always trying to figure out our place. Even when we have a place, we're like -- Am I supposed to be here?"

Also, like this Instagram post.

Blah

Abandoned Towel

In many ways, Monday night yoga continues to be good for me and helps ease the re-entry into the work week but, physically, yesterday's practice was a little intense and I found myself annoyed and wanting something more gentle but I guess no one can have what they want 100% of the time.

Patti asked me how I dealt with going swimming in the fall/winter and I told her that the pool deck is usually nice and warm and that I just bundle up afterward. She must have believed me because she went swimming today and loved her time in the pool.

Most of my pool people were prompt tonight. Dale gave a pep talk about pacing and I explained to Sean that Dale doesn't do laps and is, therefore, joking. David and I shared a lane and, about 13 laps in, I knew that Sean would be finishing up and after he got out, David moved over into that empty lane so I was able to stretch out a bit.

Swimming, thankfully, put me in a more peaceful state. Tried to play around with my DBPower but couldn't get it to turn on. There's something about the waterproof case that's off. At any rate, here are a couple of pictures that I took from inside the Blue Hole while in Negril. The pictures are not bad. I just hope that I can figure out what's wrong with the waterproof situation.

The Dream About Roses

On Thursday night, I dreamt about roses -- red roses. Even though it's almost winter, the backyard was full of opened up ones...

Was talking to Joy about Jamaica and she's trying to get back before the end of the year which, of course, made me start dreaming and looking at flights. I could leave tomorrow for approximately $242 (one way) but the return trip is the problem. I haven't gone through the proper channels to get time off and I wouldn't want to burn all of my vacation time in two months...

Went swimming last night and the house was packed. I ended up sharing a lane with David -- David of the mile goal every time he hits the pool. I had a swimmer to the left and right so that made me hunker down.

Patti, my rock climbing buddy, doesn't really like to swim and hasn't been in the pool in over a decade but decided that she would join the Y because she says that she needs to do some other activity. At first she told me that she was going for a lunchtime swim but that didn't happen so she was hoping to go later on in afternoon so I posted a 'gram with the picture below asking her if she'd gone swimming too. There has been no response yet.

The Inquiring 'Gram 

And since I still have a Jamaica hangover, here are more pictures from my trip. We spotted the first guy carrying a bazillion eggs and bicycling. Needless to say, there would have been egg all over the road had I attempted to transport in this manner. The second picture is of one of the boat crew members who kicked up into a headstand "just like that."

Green Fence and Eggs