Thursday, December 2, 2010

Being 'Drea

There's this part of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project that continues to stick with me. Well, there are quite a few parts of her book that stick with me including the cut people slack portion of the program.

Rubin talks about accepting true likes and dislikes and how that acceptance frees you up to do other things. In embracing true likes and dislikes, Rubin lists things she'll never do.

But I have to admit it -- being Gretchen and accepting my true likes and dislikes bring me a kind of sadness. I will never visit a jazz club at midnight, hang out in artists' studios, jet off to Paris for the weekend, or pack up to go fly-fishing on a spring dawn... 122
Of course, I think this is an exercise you have to be careful with because you don't want to put something out there that you might potentially want to do and then you've mentally and verbally put the kibosh on it -- not cool.

Having said that, here's my list of things that, although I might like them, will probably never happen in 'Drea's world:

  • Girly Girlishness

  • Hooping It Up Professional Basketball-Style

  • Replacing Rick Steves

  • Synchronized Swimming

  • Hurrying about in The Amazing Race

  • Frequenting Parties

  • Amusement Park Enthusiast

  • Sewing or Crocheting Competently

  • Mastering Trilingualism

  • Walking a Wire Professionally

  • What are some of your true likes?

    ...I realized that just as clearing away my nostalgic clutter and my aspirational clutter in January had opened up more space for the possessions I really use in the present, relinquishing my fantasies of what I wished I found fun allowed me more room to do the things that I did find fun. Why worry about jazz clubs when I really wanted to design my own Book of Hours? Be Gretchen. (126)


    1. Yeah, that's a part that really struck me too - giving up the things that I "want to want." Actually I've been to plenty of jazz clubs at midnight :) but I've given up my idea of living a super-sophisticated urban life in a trendy loft: not gonna happen. Not because it CAN'T happen, but because it's not something I truly want. It's something the person I think I should be would want.

    2. Also I wanted to add - when I described the book to the DH, he immediately latched onto this concept as being a negative thing, that it was "giving up" on aspirations. It's a tricky concept to explain, that's not what it's about. It's more like giving up *false* aspirations.

    3. I am going to have to read this book. It's on my list.

      I know, it's kind of like I always feel like I'm supposed to love corporate, to love getting dressed up, to do all of this stuff - but I really don't. And in the end, I just want to sit around and do what I want to do - whatever that is.

    4. @gingersnapper

      Cool way to sum it up: Not because it CAN'T happen, but because it's not something I truly want. It's something the person I think I should be would want.

      Also, I could see how someone would think it's a negative concept. I was actually thinking that my post might be confusing because I'm listing things that I won't do then I turn around and ask about true likes...


      I hope that you will read and that you'll let me know what you think of The...Project.

      I'm definitely feelin' your last sentence...