With Ambivalence

On Saturday, went to hang out with my yoga classmates; it ended up being much longer than I had planned but it was a relaxing evening and I enjoyed talking with them and the chores can wait another week, month...

As we talked, my classmate Camille said that she was missing book club. Upon further discussion, Camille mentioned that they had read The Bluest Eye and I said that it really took listening to the audio version for me to fully appreciate this book. Camille asked if Morrison read her own book. Yes, I responded.

My yes lead me to listen to audio clips of The Bluest Eye and Song of Solomon. Hearing Morrison's voice was so sweet and it made me feel at ease.

After a month-long hiatus, went swimming last night. What I love about the latter part of the year is that the water is just a tad bit warmer. Don't really enjoy that open swim is moved back to 7:30 p.m. in the fall but I deal with it. I totally missed the water and my body felt properly stretched and in alignment afterward...

There's this woman who attends Zumba classes on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. I asked her tonight how she was doing and she said, with an ambivalent face, okay. I related.

Listened to about 40 minutes of the Kryptonite for the Inner Critic, Self-Compassion Series episode of 10% Happier then I moved on to different podcasts. For some reason, I gave it another try today and it was just what I needed.

Towards the end of yoga teacher training, I remember how Stacy said that she felt more generous and didn't feel the need to be so insular.

I'm not feeling very generous and after listening to most of Kryptonite, I know that's okay but I'm also looking forward to being more than okay.

Days Late...

One of the presenters, Jana Long, for Yoga As A Peace Practice encouraged us to grow something -- a pot of, say, basil -- something.

Recently listened to Ross Gay's Tending Joy and Practicing Delight, an episode of the On Being podcast and he mentioned that his life got better when he started growing things.

Guess that I will forgive myself for that one time that I killed mint and a cactus and try to grow something again and see where it takes me.

Speaking of On Being and growing things, Jerico Brown's poem, Foreday in the Morning, blew me away.

And speaking of writers, someone saw me post about Toni Morrison and the person expressed shocked -- I know that Toni Morrison was old but... I know exactly what she meant.

The tweet below was the one that made me teary-eyed.

And thanks Saeed Jones for this excerpt from Beloved:

And this...:

The world right now, wow...

Loved

Had a two hour meeting yesterday. Usually, end of the week p.m. meetings find me dragging but the speaker held my attention. I liked it when he said that his personal mission statement is bigger than his company's mission statement. I was also captivated by his frequent use of the phrase I would like to encourage... It's kind of the in phrase but...

Agreed to pick up Hazira after work and we headed to a new-ish restaurant that was featured on Groupon. Love the name -- Hot Pot Smoothie. Also dug Janice Scherer's art. When I come into money and reduce my hoard, I plan to acquire more art.

After picking up our "hot pots," we headed to an independent coffee shop. The combination of good food and coffee was enough to make me moan and I definitely plan to return to Hot Pot Smoothie.

Udon Noodles, Chicken, Spinach, Peppers...Mmmm

Later on, Hazira and I watched Modern Family -- the fourth episode, Our Children, Ourselves, of season two just might be my favorite. It's the episode with the homeless Reiki master. So funny. It doesn't take much to make me happy...

Woke up and turned on the TV. They were doing makeovers or something on The Today Show and it seems that adding hair moves so many people. Additional hair is something that I have very little interest in but what I did notice was an audience member (with more hair) who had on a LOVED shirt. 

I want that shirt.

I often think that if I want something as my epitaph, it would be that line from Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon: And she was loved! Even though it still surprises me when people like me, I do feel loved... a lot.

Did my usual Saturday morning bed-dwelling, then lifted my bike out of the basement. Such a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

As I sat on the bench reading a book sample, this family walked by and a little girl in a stroller noticed the group of people by the building with a lot of windows and asked Where's the bride?

Moving Through Forest Park

As Paul D says of Sethe in Morrison's Beloved, Forest Park is a friend of my mind; it moves me. It is where I initially shed pounds. I also resolved many dilemmas while walking the 6.2 trail there. I returned to Forest Park as a cyclist and not a walker today.

Mile two was challenging. I don't know if it was a subtle hill, my bike or what but I struggled and felt as if I was going in slow motion.

By Skinker and Clayton, there is a major descent. I don't think that I touched the pedals for an entire mile or, at least, until I got by the zoo -- close to where the zebras reside. I must say that it was quite exhilarating whipping along that section. Yes, I know; it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. I did the 6.2 miles in about forty minutes. So, I decided to bike from Union to Forsyth again. I do like to go for an hour.

I saw this woman, Fabiola, that I know. She's batty too. Her exercise of choice was inline skating and all I could see was skin and no wrist or knee pads but she looked liked she was holding her own.

Here, I paused to eat my Raisin Almond Soyjoy and take a sip of water.


On the way back home, I saw the Harris Stowe State University band practicing. I wanted to stop and listen to the free concert for awhile. It was a beautiful day for a band to play and it was a beautiful day for bicycling too.