Holding On

The shoulder situation made a comeback and I've been treating it with massage therapy but a funny thing would happen on the way to massage therapy: the pain, discomfort and soreness (from exercise) would just about disappear.

The second time the pain disappeared prior to my appointment, I figured something psychological might be going on.

The day after the last massage that I had the discomfort, which had already switched sides of the shoulder, returned to my upper right arm, my shoulder blade and sometimes on the side of my neck. The shoulder blade situation felt like a tight little radius of intensity and heat with a kink right in the middle.

My friend (HC), her sister and I went to Community Acupuncture's open house today. After treatment, my friend asked me what I thought.

Me: It is what it is...

That's when I realized I was in a foul mood and stressed-out.

I have been feeling stuck and there is little wonder that my muscles are in a holding pattern.

I'm frustrated with rock climbing no matter what my belay partners tell me about my tenacity and strength.

I'm frustrated with front crawl breathing even though I've been told that everyone struggles with it.

I'm frustrated that I seem unable to lose more weight. One year plateau anyone?

I have angst about my new body and I didn't see that one coming.

I may have fitness fatigue.

And my face? Even it looks strange after weight loss.


While I was waiting on my friend and her sister to finish up their acupuncture sessions, I read through The Asian Diet book and one of the things it said about stress is that your body holds on to weight. Imagine that...

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my friend Lori and I was reluctant to vent. I told her that I sounded ungrateful and she told me that I wasn't being ungrateful; I was just expressing how I feel.

I also have a tendency to not want to own up to sadness etc. because, in the back of mind, I feel as if things might get worse if I vent. Not sure where I got that idea from and, having said that, turning the calendar page from August to September made me sad. I even took the calendar off the wall for a while.

I went rock climbing yesterday and swimming today. Clearly, if I had a serious shoulder injury, I would not have been able to climb or swim.

Just acknowledging, though, that I haven't been feeling cheery has taken some of the weight off my shoulders. I'm sure that floating helped too...


Postscript: Since I'm getting stuff off my shoulders, even though I swim laps, my treading bites and I am not wholly comfortable with the deep end.