Friday, February 19, 2016

What I Do Not Want

As I listened to one of my colleagues complain, thought about bath bombs and how they fizz and dissolve and spread their essential and other oils and color all over the place and I realized that my colleague is a stress bomb and I know that everyone vents but I'm talking about the ultramarathon of complaining.

Supposedly, you learn the most from people who frequently get under your skin and I kept wondering if I was so unaware that I needed to learn the same thing repeatedly.

I did have an epiphany as I thought about the bath bomb. I do not want to devote much energy to wailing and I do not want to be the kind of person who dispenses stress, dissatisfaction and unhappiness to other people on a regular basis.

So two lessons seem to be:

1). Fill the well a.k.a work on happiness.

2). Often dedicate time to self-care.

3). Be respectful of other people -- don't dump on them.

4). Silence is golden.

The fourth one reminds me of something Joy said about that sacred moment or space where you pause and say or react differently than you normally do or, possibly, not say anything at all for a change.

*More lessons appeared as I started writing.


  1. This is one of my favorite posts ever. I love the bath bomb analogy.

    In "Happy this Year," he writes about Sacred Clowns. These are people who irritate you enormously, who seem like their entire purpose is to upset your life. In a lot of Native American cultures, this is actually a role or job that's considered very important. Although they seem to be trying to distract and demoralize, they are serving the function of helping people clarify their own beliefs, and reminding people that challenges are part of life. They help reveal you to yourself. We don't have that role in our modern world, but it's a useful way to think of people like your co-worker. You already had an epiphany about who you are and what you value, because of her.

    But yeah, I totally get what you mean about "how many times do I have to learn the same lesson?" Many, apparently! LOL. Maybe you're getting different nuances and perspectives about it.

  2. Gingerzingi, thanks.

    Re: the Sacred Clowns, wow."Happy This Year" is on my to-read list.