This Time of Year

Feel like I've been out of control but I'm giving myself big credit for the leaving the house last night at 7:40 p.m. and going to Zumba even though the temperature was in the teens.

I'm off my regular schedule but the world is off its regular schedule during the end of the year so I'm not alone. 

I've done a couple of Amazon Prime exercise videos, including Fitness Kickbox and Latin Zoom Cardio Workout. I enjoyed both but especially the latter. 

Went to yoga after work today and found it hard to settle down because it was cold in the studio and I had been cold all day at work but I just kept a blanket around me and finally relaxed. The teacher, who's really on maternity leave, subbed for the regular teacher. I loved her yoga-talk about embracing choices during practice. She was essentially saying modify poses if you need to. She also talked about not putting so much New Year pressure on ourselves and to think about adding elements to our lives as opposed to eliminating things. 

I also like what Sean Haleen had to say about this time of year...

This time every year, I'm bombarded by advertisements and posts that imply the "right" thing to do is work extra hard, diet, cleanse, etc., Especially within the context of Yoga, this communicates to people the fruits of our practice become attainable through punishing ourselves for the past few weeks of indulgence. This also reinforces that "harder" is naturally better for us. I used to live for punishment and it lead me down a hard road of addiction and starvation. One message I can't repeat enough from experiencing this, is that if you beat yourself up, all you'll feel in the end, is beaten up. This is what drew my so strongly to the teachings of the Buddha many years ago. Neither lavishing yourself nor depleting yourself leads to fulfillment and we often ricochet from one to the other. Teachers, practitioners, yogis, remember that using Yoga to punish yourself doesn't lend itself to self-realization, it formalizes the bond we have with seeing our bodies as "wrong" "unworthy" or "needing to change." Let yourself feel full, nourished, and okay during this time where the pressures to make certain choices are inescapable. #yoga #yogateacher #yogamen #yogalove #yogalife #instayoga #stopdropandyoga #yogaeverywhere #yogaeverydamnday #downdog #yogatime

A post shared by Sean Haleen (@sarcasticyogateacher) on Dec 27, 2017 at 9:07am PST

The Travel Penguin's post about being organized made my Like List as well.

Dazed

Dazed...

Feeling as if I'm going around in circles.

Wanted to go to 9:30 yoga or 11:00 o'clock yoga and didn't make it to either one and after I crawled back into bed, I knew that I was in danger of missing the 1:00 o'clock lunch/dinner at my aunt G.'s.

The snow was falling gently this morning and I found myself not wanting to move but knew that I needed to get to the store.

Once I made it to the store, I was texting back and forth with two or three people then I ran into two people. All that to say, I missed the appointed time to get to my aunt's.

This holiday season has been confusing. How many people do I get stocking stuffers for? How has a religious holiday turned into such a materialistic fest?  Found myself at Walmart on Saturday because I really wanted to see if they had these cookies that another aunt wanted. There was not a parking spot available so I parked at the nearby Sam's Club and walked over. Luckily, I had less than 20 items but all I could think about was the collective price of all of those shopping cart contents.

Got things from people at work that I totally wasn't expecting.  A new colleague gave me an extremely thoughtful gift; it's one that I would have given myself...

So, it's Christmas Eve and I'm washing clothes and trying to knock out other tasks and trying to squash that familiar feeling of never being able to get enough done.

To The Gong

It's been a while since I bicycled so I was sore on Saturday afternoon.

I put yoga high on the agenda for Sunday but still had to talk myself out the door. Sometimes I feel like my body just shuts down before the work week starts.

Went to a new-to-me teacher's class and she started the class talking about a yoga concept and related it to a cancer diagnosis that she received at the age of 28 when, in her words, she found out that she wasn't immortal. A more recent scare had her moving away from techniques that she relies on to keep her calm and centered. It was a powerful reminder and way to start class.

Post-yoga, my body felt 97% better...

Tonight, I went to the final sound meditation of 2017. Got out my big IKEA and filled it with blankets and pillows.

Woke myself up a couple of times with snoring but that's one of the benefits of the gongs is that no one is able to hear you. This meditation was my third one so I knew when I heard the chimes and rain stick that the meditation was ending. Wow, not all hours are created equally because I felt like I'd only been listening to the gongs for 20 minutes.

Anytime

A couple of weeks ago, told Patti that I was jonesing for brunch at a place in her neighborhood and she said Anytime.

Well, anytime was today. At first, I was going to try for Zumba and then thought about the nice weather so I brought up biking. Yes, I brought up biking knowing that Patti has a bike with the thin wheels and she also has those clip on shoes. 

At some point, Patti emailed me to say that her son's mother-in-law would be joining us for brunch and bicycling. The brunch crowd got bigger and the bicycling crew expanded by one. 

We paused after the scrumptious brunch, debated about how many layers of clothing to put on then met up with one member of our bicycling crew along the trail. 

Jessica is trying to convince me to wear a helmet, get a road bike and cycling shoes. She swears that road bikes make all the difference as far as struggling less. Don't think I'll be getting a bike soon but if someone wants to give me one for Christmas, I won't return the bike.

Because I'm unfamiliar with the trails in Illinois, I couldn't gauge how far we'd bicycled or how much road we had to cover. When we got back to Patti's house, she declared that we had gone 15.2 miles and it totally felt like it. Also of note, I have never bicycled in December. 

*Part of the regular menu... I cracked up when the server said that Patti's pillow bread had been toasted with bacon fat.

The Release

Before I headed to a restorative yoga class at work last Wednesday, I explained something to a super frustrated colleague. When I realized her level of despair, I mentioned the yoga class but she told me that it was at work with work people and she wouldn't be able to relax. I get that.

On Friday, we had our holiday party and I won a $100 dollar gift card to a Thai restaurant. There was also a cake walk and when I went to the stage, one of my colleagues said Haven't you won enough already?, LOL. I only went to the stage because they needed more participants. I need a whole cake like I need another hole in my head.

Went to the 'Fugee's on Friday and she made me a smoothie -- the same color as my juice that I've been getting. Not sure why but I started laughing which escalated into shrieks and I couldn't stop for quite a while. Seriously, I lost control -- guess I needed the release. 

At any rate, the concoction was very tasty. Thank you, 'Fugee...

Had weird dreams last night, including one that was set in a jail but I'm about 99% sure that came from watching Empire. 

I'm doing a meditation "challenge" right now. I'm on day two which really resonated with me. I've added it to my  iPod and will definitely listen to it again.

I am on a mission to get you to meditate. So, here’s a challenge: 7 days for 5 minutes each day. You can do this, and it could just shift your life in a sweet and powerful way. There is no shortage of evidence on the efficacy of meditation physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Does this sound familiar? “I really should meditate, but I don’t know how to.” “I really should meditate, but my mind is all over the place.” “I really should meditate, but I don’t have time.” “I really should meditate, but I can’t sit still.” “I really should meditate, but I need some guidance.” The excuses go on and on. The truth is that you CAN meditate - and this is the community to offer support and accountability. I am even willing to bribe you with some swag if you finish the challenge and bring friends with you. I’ve created a free (and downloadable!) 5 min. guided meditation for each of the next seven days - Day One is already up on my website. Just complete the 3 steps below to have a chance to win some giveaways (shown in photos above - swipe left!), or complete the challenge simply for your own benefit. Just meditate!!! More info below. 😊 TO PARTICIPATE: 1) Follow me, if you’re not already! Then TAG A FRIEND on this post. 2) Head over to my website at www.colleensaidmanyee.com/meditate (link in my Bio as well). Listen to the new five minute meditation available on each of the seven days. Feel free to download for future use! 3) Check-in on my website each day - takes only a few seconds (check-in is directly below meditations on the web page). Steps 1-3 must be completed all seven days to enter. (I’ll be checking! 😉) Share/repost my photo for 2 additional entries. Hashtag #whywaitchallenge. Must be following @colleensaidman. Must tag friend in comments. There will be multiple swag bags sent out! Includes: Yoga Shanti water bottle and tank (sizes S/M/L), yoga DVD, Yoga For Life book, and one Young Living Essential oil. Winners selected at random and contacted through DM or email on December 18th. MUST BE IN CONTINENTAL USA. All others are still welcome (and encouraged) to participate! ✨🙏🏽 #whywaitchallenge #challenge #giveaway #yoga #meditation

A post shared by 💜 Colleen Saidman Yee (@colleensaidman) on Dec 8, 2017 at 5:40am PST

Feels Right

Post-Zumba on Saturday, I asked Alison to stop at the local herb shop before we headed for coffee. The shop was having an annual holiday sale but I didn't realize that it was also their annual holiday party and I'm still thinking about the Chickpea and Spinach Curry (with sprouted rice) and the gluten-free brownies that I ate.

From the shop, we headed to the Mystic place where I can never resist buying something. Recently saw a massage therapist on Instagram touting Chinese Therapy Balls so, of course, I had to buy a pair...

Kept looking at the sky during the weekend because I was captivated with the moon. It was stunning and I tried to capture pictures with not much luck.

Actually like this one.

Went to an awesome yin yoga class tonight. Almost stayed at home but so glad that I didn't. This is my second time in this teacher's class and I can see why people tell you to find the teacher that feels right to you...

Re: the super moon, I also like this 'gram.

Moon of all moons, there are times when a specially big moon rises in the sky. On December 3, we heard that a Super Moon was going to appear. Our expectation of seeing it from the Korean land after many decades was bigger than the moon itself. But the weather was bad... 😞 When you guys called us saying you saw a faint moon on your way back home from our place, I remembered an old song I learned in the elementary school. “Moon, moon, what moon? Round moon like a plate. Where, where, did it rise? It rose above the Nam mountain.” #moon #supermoon #drawing #watercolor A lua das luas, tem dias que a lua nasce especialmente grande. Quando soube que na noite do dia 3 o "super moon" aparecia e eu poderia revê-lo depois de décadas aqui nos céus da Coreia, o tamanho da minha expectativa talvez fosse maior que a própria lua. Mas o tempo estava fechado ㅠㅠ ... Naquele dia, quando vocês vieram nos visitar em casa e no caminho de volta me ligaram dizendo que conseguiram ver a lua mesmo que embaçado, lembrei de uma velha canção que aprendi assim que entrei na escolinha. "Lua lua que tipo de lua, lua redonda como bandeja. Onde ela está? No topo da montanha Namsan." 달 중의 달, 특별히 큰 달이 뜰 때가 있지. 지난 3일 밤에 슈퍼 문이 뜬다고 하길래 몇 십년만에 한국 땅에서 보겠구나 기대가 정말 달보다 컸었어. 그런데 날씨가 나빴지. ㅠㅠㅠ... 너희가 할아버지네 왔다가 돌아가는 길에 그래도 희미하게나마 달을 봤다는 전화를 받고 초등학교 들어가자 배운 옛날 노래가 생각났다. '달 달 무슨 달 쟁반같이 둥근 달 어디어디 떴나 남산 위에 떴지’ #할아버지회상 # 슈퍼문 #수채화 #보름달

A post shared by Grandpa Chan (@drawings_for_my_grandchildren) on Dec 5, 2017 at 5:42am PST

Right Now

Padded Thanksgiving with extra days since I was feeling agitated. Those PTO days feel so precious that I want to save them but feeling really agitated is a good reason to take time off from work. Of course, there's a limit to what PTO is able to solve...

Went to another community sound meditation last night and, toward the end, I thought That is so delightful. The sound healing therapist incorporated bells and a rain stick. Overall, I'm enjoying the sound meditations and I feel like I sleep better afterward.

As I was getting ready for Zumba this p.m., this woman said that I looked very familiar but we don't know each other. Still, she went on to talk about the 10 pounds that she had gained. While we waited for class to begin, I talked about my sweet tooth and she said Please, I have every tooth. About Zumba, I don't know what I'm doing to which I replied Don't make me laugh. 

Oh, you're going to laugh, she said. After class, she told me that she had escaped a carjacking and that she was moving out of the city because of that incident and the increase in gunfire. 

In other news, I fixed the Coconut Red Curry Vegetable Soup from the Minimalist Baker's cookbook and I loved it. Feeling like my cooking sessions with Gloria has made me a more adventurous cook.

Also, this rain stick with Tibetan bowls needs to be on my iPod right now.

Turning The Corner

Went to visit my brother along with three other relatives.  Feel like I'm getting much better at packing and knew, right off the bat, that I should be conservative since I was only spending two nights away from home.

Used an overnight bag with a packing cube inside. Still not sure if the cubes are space savers but I do like how you're able to better organize clothing.

Had dreams the two nights that I was away. The first one involved observing a father with his baby, in danger of drowning, in a swimming pool. The father managed to rescue himself but not the baby but I was able to. Once I had the baby in my arms, I wailed.

The next night I dreamed that there were two bad guys in a room and I was confident about taking out one with my weapon but not the other. I shot the one guy and that's where the dream ended. Maybe the latter dream stemmed from being on a military base or watching Covert Affairs or maybe, as Dream Moods suggests, the dream was about experiencing confrontation and feeling victimized...

One of my relatives showed up inebriated and I was definitely disappointed and holding my breath. My mother and her siblings occasionally bickered. My oldest nephew got a kick out of that saying Now I don't feel bad about getting into it with my brothers. Just as people are prone to feel like forever kids around their parents, I guess that it's true of siblings too.

At any rate, I enjoyed seeing my grand nieces who I hadn't seen in years. I was not prepared for them wanting to occupy electronic devices but I will say that the pictures that they took were interesting. I just hoped that they wouldn't drop my expensive iPod or someone else's phone.

Electronic Delight

Went to see my cousin yesterday and, this time, I wasn't surprised when I turned the corner and saw my aunt's house decorated with lights. It's bittersweet seeing the lights but not her.

Projected Lights

Looking for Marie Howe

About a decade ago,  I read a book of poetry about this woman dealing with the loss of her brother.

Knew that the brother had cancer.

Knew that there was a poem about the brother getting a needle stuck in his eye to prevent losing his sight and I remembered a line in one of the poems that read -- He had washed his last dish.

But I didn't know enough to find the book and I thought that I'd never see it again.

↔Fast Forward ↔

I really wanted to read a book about grief but I didn't necessarily want to read an Elizabeth Kubler Ross book or Kerry Egan's On Living. After searching on the internet, I spotted Kevin Young's anthology, The Art of Losing; it has been a great book to slowly read my way through and I didn't have to wait too long (page 69) before I came across a familiar poem, How Some of It Happened, by Marie Howe, the poet that I'd been looking for.

I immediately ordered her book from the library and when I got it, I remembered the maroon cover and everything.

I can't say enough about the Art of Losing. Poems that really hit me in the solar plexus, included:

Sharon Olds' The Race

Ruth Stone's Loss

Elizabeth Alexander's Autumn Passage

Coleman Barks' Luke and the Duct Tape

James Weldon Johnson's  Listen Lord: A Prayer

William Matthews' My Father's Body

Edward Hirsch's Cold Calls

Ted Kooser's Mourners

Ruth L. Schwartz's Letter from God

Jane Kenyon's Otherwise

Mary Oliver's When Death Comes

This book also made me remember other poems about death that really moved me -- like Lucille Clifton's poems about her father and husband; Gloria Wade-Gayles' poem about her mother and Cornelius Eady's book about his father's death.

I am a bit late to the Mary Oliver a game but when I first read her poem Wild Geese, it blew my mind and, I think, more than anything else -- the first line moves me unbelievably and I, occasionally, use it to really center myself.

Major

Diffused eucalyptus and lemon essential oils last night and slept decently but woke up with cotton mouth as the post-swimming congestion settled in at some point.

When I talked to one of the guys at the pool last night, he says that anytime he wears his silver ring in the pool, it turns a dark color and he's also noticed that the coins in the vending machine are kind of weird.

At any rate, I battled the congestion with a variety of essential oils and, now, the congestion is gone but I need to cut back on my indoor swimming...

When I went over to my aunt G.'s on Sunday, she gave me her paper. She gets the Illinois paper except for on Sunday when she, erroneously, gets the St. Louis Post Dispatch which she doesn't care for. So,what did I do this morning? I caught up on comic strips and I was drawn to the two below:

A major fire happened today and there's still a plume of smoke. I've been concerned about air quality which made me think about people in war-torn countries and bombs and rubble.

Early

Accidental Picture

Went to the pool after a two week hiatus. I was horribly congested after I went last time. Plus, the water is usually chilly and I just wasn't feeling it last week with the cooler temperatures.

Got to the pool around 6:50 p.m. and the lifeguard approached me. The hours had changed and I was about 30 minutes early, ugh.

This guy who often comes to the pool told me that he did the same thing last week and he went on to tell me that he had to swim in a hurry as he usually drops his wife off at the thrift store then picks her up when he's finished swimming. He went on to tell me that they both lost a lot of weight years ago and couldn't afford to keep buying clothes and that's when they first started shopping at thrift stores. I told him that I have a friend ( the 'Fugee) who has the patience to shop at such stores.

Another guy who I last saw in May is back at the pool and he told me that he had lost 28 pounds over the summer. He wasn't a heavy guy to begin with but I guess he was heavier than he wanted to be.

His secret? He cut his lunch in half and now he cuts a subway sandwich into five parts and eats it for dinner. Yes, he's on the "Jared Diet." When I asked him about breakfast, he said that he sleeps in late and has never been much of a breakfast person.

It's kind of funny that neither one of these guys has talked to me about weight before and that was tonight's topic.

Outside the Box

Banner in the Therapy Room

A massage therapist that I used to go to on a regular basis but hadn't been to in six months reached out to me to let me know that she is moving. When I first saw the email subject, I thought she was moving to another location and not out of state.

She is one of the first therapists that I found when I first got into massage therapy. After communicating with her about the move, I immediately booked an appointment and thought about all the times that I didn't go because I couldn't find a slot or day to my liking. Ugh, sometimes you just have to think outside the box and be flexible.

At any rate, I was so touched that she reached out because I would have been crushed had she left town without me getting the chance to say goodbye.

I really enjoyed and benefited from my massage and energy therapy sessions with her. She is warm, professional and serious about her craft. Part of me wants to regret the infrequency of my visits but the other part of me wants to lean into the grateful part -- that I got a chance to see her once more.

This morning I was reading a local publication called The Healthy Planet and I really like this issue's Holy Mole cartoon. Massage definitely makes me feel more appreciative and alive. 

Also, the fall foliage has been a welcome and beautiful distraction. I've had my camera out for the last two days...

Human Nature

Got a nastygram a.k.a an email from the resident bully at work. Well, I wasn't the only one who got it. It was addressed to me, two of my other colleagues and two people who are above us.

This nasty person sat next to me at the holiday party last year and said If they had a heart attack, most of the people in the room would walk over them. If you know that you are perceived this way, why not try to change your behavior?

There is a part of my brain that thinks that if this person were on fire, I wouldn't spit on them and the other part of me knows that I would help this nasty person out -- if they were on fire.  On some level, I feel that this person is unhappy and miserable but that doesn't excuse the behavior.

Many of the grams that I share with people who are not on Instagram, look like the this one:

But there is this part of me that is done with this person and I'm tired of being civil and there is a gram for this part of me to -- How human of me.

An Inconvenient Weekend

I have been waiting for cold weather to appear so that it would, at the very least, kill the grass but, no, it didn't happen and I had to pull the lawnmower out as well as collect more bur acorns.

Saturday was a blur and I found myself grocery shopping around 8:00 p.m. I also find myself dreading grocery shopping nowadays.

The extra hour was nice and since I knew that I'd be meeting my cousin for a walk, I charged my camera and took that opportunity to move pictures to external storage so that I could delete pictures. The memory card holds a little over a 1,000 thousand pictures and I kept getting a message that it was full.

With my iPod backing up to Google Photos and uploading stuff to Shutterfly, it's hard to remember what I've uploaded sometimes but I will say that it was nice going through a lot of the pictures, including the ones from my trip to Bosnia and Croatia. I would like to make a photo book of that trip but I have mixed emotions about adding to existing clutter. 

My cousin and I went walking over in East St. Louis, IL. It's a cool little park that falls off my radar. This very funny and nice man was at the top of the overlook with his daughter and he pointed out the webcam that I hadn't noticed before.

It was fun to go back and take snapshots of webcam footage.

Snapshots of Webcam

Because the weather was so nice, I took another walk then came back home to start cooking. Needed to go back to the store for two items because I forgot to get peas and carrots and squash last night.

Thought that I might get to take a short walk with the 'Fugee but after raking leaves and picking up more acorns, I ran out of steam and time.

Walk II

Needs

Went back to the yoga studio that I used to go to on s regular basis -- hadn't been in almost three months and, of course, I chose Halloween to go so there ended up being two of us in class but it ended up being quite lovely.

The teacher dressed up as a cat and had a playlist that included Jackson's Thriller, Nina Simone's I Put A Spell on You and Nancy Sinatra's Bang Bang which kept me thinking of Kill Bill which was, I guess, appropriate for Halloween.

Yoga was brought to my workplace today -- a restorative class. A few of us having been talking about a relaxation group and we've been talking about possibly chipping in to have a yoga teacher come on-site.

Walked into the conference room and heard the soft music and it was instantly relaxing and the class was super sweet.

Went to Zumba tonight and, at one point, left out of the room because the music was way too loud. The teacher doesn't normally play the music at that level. Apparently, my exit was dramatic because my former coworker, Katie, asked me if I was okay as did another woman that I'm familiar with.

As we exited the locker room, I told Katie that I was probably overly sensitive right now. Seriously, I just need to hibernate.

Hit Or Miss

The Bowls

Went to another sound mediation on Monday but this time it was with Himalayan bowls and gongs as opposed to crystal bowls.

Although it still felt a little trippy, I really enjoyed it and was amazed at how fast the hour went by. Again, I slept well after the sound meditation experience.

On Tuesday, I had a dilemma. Because I'd gone to the meditation, I missed Zumba but I had another opportunity to go on Tuesday but figured that I wouldn't have another opportunity to go swimming for another week so I chose swimming but sleeping did not choose me as I had chemical congestion and couldn't sleep.

Suffered through really tight hamstrings a couple of days. I'm going to totally attribute that to my hit or miss yoga routine these days.

On Friday, I noticed that my mucus production was in overdrive and then congestion reared it's ugly head again. There's nothing like congestion to make you appreciate uncomplicated breathing, wow. I've thrown everything that I can think of at the congestion -- tea with lemon, lemon water, juice with ginger etc. and I've been diffusing even though some think that essentials oils are placebos. All I know is that lemon essential oil (mixed with a carrier oil) helps to alleviate congestion...

Checked items off my to-do list despite feeling under the weather but it never seems like enough stuff gets done.

I cooked a recipe out of Thug Kitchen 101. So far, fingers crossed, I've liked most of the Thug recipes.

Part of my workout out today consisted of picking up these nuts that find their way under shoes so easily.

Purposely

Went to visit my cousin and was taken aback to see Halloween lights. My aunt used to decorate for all occasions -- Valentine's Day, the Fourth of July etc.

When I walked into the house, told my cousin that I wasn't expecting the decorations and she said that she wasn't either. Another cousin had put them up.

I took a deep breath.

It was kind of nice to see the lights and to carry on with one of my aunt's traditions...

Went swimming tonight and was surprised to see Chatty Kathleen who I hadn't see in over four months. She asked me if I knew who was at the pool and she pointed to her granddaughter. I was shocked because I remember her grandchild when she was three or four and now she's ten; time flies, for real.

I purposely stayed in the pool about 15 minutes after I saw CK get out because I know that she takes a while to get ready. Nice try because she was still in the shower when I got there and we ended up walking out of the locker room at the same time. Her granddaughter was staying by her side and also rolling and carrying a bag. At one point, CK stopped to rest since her back was bothering her and, somehow, I had forgotten about the intensity of her back issues. I felt ashamed that I had been slightly annoyed about shower issues.

S Is For...

Trying to squash this subtle panicky feeling that I have on Saturday night that I didn't get enough done and that I will never be able to make a dent in my to-do list. There's also the dread of getting a step closer to Monday but it's hard to complain when I spent almost two hours on the Riverfront Trail. It's a wonder that I even made it to the trail because I didn't get out of bed until after nine and I pushed myself to get out of said bed then.

Tried to connect with one my uncles about biking but he was slow to respond. Thought about going to an 11:00 a.m. Zumba class but that "deadline" came and went so I decided that I had to take advantage of this 88 degree day so I managed to get stuff out of my car, take the wheel off my bike and head downtown even though I wasn't totally feeling it. Set a goal of 10 miles plus decided to explore the new part of the trail that goes by the Arch. It's really nice but I miss the steps that used to be under the Arch but I will say that the new ramp-like construction makes it more accessible for people who wouldn't be able to deal with steps.

I saw a little snake and a big snake and I saw a beaver! Tried to get a picture of the beaver but he wasn't having it...

Closer look with zoom...

Went and got a lot of books from the library and, this evening, I've been looking through Hungry Girl's cookbook. Wow, she likes Laughing Cow cheese and tofu noodles a lot.

Trippy

The Bowls

One of my colleagues told me about this sound meditation event and I decided to go even though it was the same night as open swim night.

I also had my doubts about sound meditation even though that episode of My Cat From Hell  -- the one with the tuning forks practitioner -- sticks with me. I also know that alternative therapies, like Reiki and Healing Touch, have helped me so I try to keep my mind open.

There were about 20 adults present and we all got cozy.  The sound of the crystal singing bowls sounded a bit trippy but I can't believe how fast the hour went by.

My Space

I slept very well last night and then...today I said something to my colleague that I should not have said. I made the comment after she kept chomping on some very crispy potato chips or something. I guess that I was already in sensory overload mode.

Even thought I had a chance to walk back the comment, I didn't and I'm not proud of myself. Also, if it hadn't been someone that I've worked with for a long time, I could have gotten in trouble for the comment that I made.

One thing's for sure. I have to get back on a regular schedule with yoga and I should probably start meditating again.

I Settle

View From the Farm

Went to another goat yoga event and, as usual, I didn't do much yoga since I was too distracted by the goats and pig. It was very windy so that was also a distraction but the event still made for a nice animal therapy session and it's looks mountainous in the farm area so it's beautiful.

Gertrude

Want to Frame This One of the Runner Ducks

Alison volunteered to drive. She said that her car is like her purse and she would probably forget something so I got a chance to look around and take pictures during the drive.

Rain Clouds

We also ended up going to the Crystal Festival which got rained on a lot. I joked that there were enough energy workers and crystals so we should have been able to make it stop raining. Alas, that didn't happen but several of the crystal folks said that they saw a hint of the sun. Is that a case of looking at the sky as half full?

From Alison's I went to pick up essential oils that were on sale. Later on I told Alison how I really wanted these expensive fragrances, like rose and jasmine, and she suggested that I could use my gift certificate for an herb shop toward the purchase of one. I had already used part of of my gift certificate for a "lesser" essential oil and hand cream. As I told Alison, I have a history of not getting exactly what I want. When I feel like I'm being decadent, I settle but, in this case, I had a gift certificate and enough money from my birthday to splurge.

Not going full throttle is something that I'm going to have to work on so that I can become the proper queen that the 'Fugee thinks I am.

Bluesy

I'm not in the mood to listen to a lot of upbeat music so I made a bluesy playlist. When my father died, I listened to Anthony Hamilton's I'm A Mess a lot and while it's not a song about physical death, it allowed me to grieve. The lines that moved me the most:

I'm a mess right now I can't eat can't sleepBills are piling high ain't worked in three weeksAin't bathed can't shave cause my heart is so tender like living in a blenderI'm shaken and I'm stirred

Here's part of the playlist:

I also have Hamilton's  Comin' From Where I'm From and Can't Let Go plus Moby's Why Does My Heart Feel So Sad? and Bill Wither's Ain't No Sunshine. I will also add Al Green's How Can You Mend A Broken Heart? Might add Diana Ross' Missing You but maybe not.