The Gospel According to Patti

That's Patti a.k.a The Tenacious One over to the left -- lead climbing a route outdoors and what follows below is her gospel.

Do your hands ever get sore?, I asked in child-like wonder. My hands get so tender while climbing at times.

Patti turned her hands over and discussed the merits of calluses that have fallen off. Yeah, they get sore but I just don't talk about them because my knees are sore, my back is sore and my elbows are sore. Your problem is that you're not sore enough....

If I start it, I'm going to climb it.

Mike and I were trying to figure out the The Skull Cracking route which had a challenging beginning. It looked impossible to start so we called Patti over. Patti is like that Mikey kid in the Life commercials; she'll climb anything and, sure enough, she did. Once the belay was off, Patti said, That one's all about balance.

I was attempting to climb Girl Power, a challenging 5.9 route. I had attempted it several times before I concluded that maybe I wasn't tall enough.

Patti: How tall are you?

Me: 5'3

Patti: I think you're taller.

Me: (Crumpled brow)

Patti: I certainly think I'm taller...

The move needs to be deliberate and controlled, more advice from Patti as I tried to ascend Girl Power, a 5.9 route.

What happened to muscle memory? Me after trying to get over the arête of Girl Power

Patti: You gave it new memory.

You know that part that you always get stuck on? Step on that rock instead, do a drop knee and it'll just shove you up to the top...

Patti's advice after I climbed Pacman Revival, a 5.9 route whose crux continued to baffle me.

After not being able to get over the arête of a route...

Me: Are you going to show me how to do it?

Patti: Well, I'm going to either show you how to do it or how not to do it.

The ladies at work told me that I'm a hypochondriac.

I told them that I'm a conversationalist and I talk about what ails me.

Patti: That's like a dangling modifier.

Me: Wow, I haven't heard that in awhile. Anybody see that comma splice? This conversation has really taken a turn for the worst.


Mike: No, it hasn't; we haven't talked about colons yet.

Patti: You're doing excellent. It took me a year to climb 5.9's and, if I weren't climbing better than you right now, I'd be disappointed since I've been climbing for three years.

If I don't say it enough, it's because I don't say stuff like that. Remind me in nine months and I'll tell you again.

Remember, I'm the cool one -- after Patti gave me advice on how to tackle a burly 5.9*

I always tell my kids it's all about the attitude.

Patti to me after a series of pep talks about climbing goals, not going against the grain of routes, having fun and not being hard on myself after I mentioned that I had hit the proverbial wall when it came to climbing.

Don't be a purist.

Patti to me after I struggled with Now That's More Like It, a 5.9 route; I insisted on going left even though I had lots of footholds on the right side. In addition, I didn't want to cheat my way up by using holds that didn't belong to the route.

Patti: I'm going to climb this (Now That's More Like It) even though it's hard.

Me: :o, That's mean.

Patti: (Chuckling) Are you still surprised about that now?




*Patti acknowledged her coolness after I told her what Gingersnapper wrote...

Maybe Slower Than A Sloth

I am in awe of the human body.

Yesterday was my first time making it not only over the arête but up the dang And You're Ready Now?, the 5.8b route that I have been trying to ascend for what seems like forever.

I wondered if my muscles would remember. They did. Unbelievable. There were so many aborted attempts to get over the arête. At one point, I felt like a 12-month old trying to stand up but I couldn't stand up in order to reach a crucial hold -- even though I knew the power was in my legs and that climbing is best done relying on one's legs.

And You're Ready Now? is still a challenge but getting over the arête doesn't seem nearly as onerous a task as it did before.

As I was waiting for the route to open, this guy climbed And You're Ready Now? I was captivated by his ascent. He moved up the route like a sloth -- maybe slower than a sloth.

Patti was telling me that's how great climbers ascend a route. When Patti and Jessica took their six week introduction to rock climbing course, one exercise included wearing bells on their shoes with the goal being to make as little noise as possible while ascending a route.

Right now, I'm bullish about my ascents -- not intentionally; that's just the way it is right now. The sloth has been climbing for four years. The whippersnapper started the sport when he was 18.

I climbed eight routes:

5.7, Sol (Warm-Up Route)
5.6, Truxton or Bust
5.7, Gymnopaeda
5.7, Unnamed
5.8, Bright Idea
5.8, Face Plant
5.8b, And You're Ready Now?
5.6, Sunshine (Warm-Down Route)

Climb X Media has a series of videos featuring accomplished climbers. Lynn Hill's main advice? Patience. In this video, she scales a rock that looks totally unscalable.