Where All The Power Is Coming From or CrossFit Basic Training, Round 3

An email arrives from Laurie congratulating the "Session 7" six on completing two rounds of basic training. There's also background info on CrossFit in addition to videos on maneuvers that we were introduced to like the air squat otherwise known as the mature squat; the push press and the push jerk (wind-up, bam and you're done -- kind of like the equivalent of slapping someone in the face according to the video). And the dip drive?

The dip is explosive: dip...drive -- no forward inclination of the torso...knee forward, butt back, chest up -- don't let the chest come forward. You're heaving that weight up then finishing with the arms -- angle in the hip; that's were all the power is coming from...

At the end of the email, an invitation is extended to contact CrossFit since they are there to support our fitness journey etc. I'm crudely paraphrasing but it did make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

As we, the "Session 7" participants, gather in the lobby, Laurie introduces us to a visiting CrossFitter/teacher who wants to know if we are enjoying CrossFit. My classmates respond but in my corner, you can hear crickets. Laurie hears them too.

Laurie: Andrea, what did you say?

Me: Laughter then I just feel awkward right now because I have techniques from various fitness pursuits roaming around in my head angling for position...

Visiting CrossFitter: Yeah, it's a love/hate relationship.

As we're retrieving PVC pipes, Laurie wants to know if we got her email. Carol whispers to me: Yes, we got it and it's in the special file.

It's strength training day and Laurie, cool as a cucumber, says it's important for women, especially, to be strong, functional and independent. That's Laurie talk for she wants you to smoothly take care of the 20 pound dumbell at your side.

I hear you Laurie -- talk that talk. I want guns and a back like you when I grow up...

We do wall ball

Laurie wants us to hop up on the pull-up bar and attempt to get our knees to our elbows. I resist the urge to oooh and ahhh when she does it.

I press 58 pounds (gingersnapper and Mich don't laugh...)

The non-runner runs a fourth of a mile

I hit my wrists and fall on my behind while attempting double unders.

See, most people jump rope but CrossFitters do double unders and it's the maneuvers that are, literally, tripping me up. Of course, you can always modify the double unders and do singles but...

Nothing To Watch

The day that I usually chillax to watch a flick has finally arrived.

Cedar Rapids, Exporting Raymond and Ping Pong Playa are a couple of goofy movies that have made me laugh of late.

One of my favorite scenes in Ping Pong Playa:

Bowling Kid (Shalin Patel): I read my book about the top spin you have to put on the ball in order for it have a higher probability...

Christopher 'C-Dub' Wang: Stop. Before you start talking about top spin, you have to actually hit the ball. (48:00)

That's so me. I have to read "the book" at some point in the program.



Favorite line from Exporting Raymond:

He needs to relax more. (30:30)

Someone in the documentary said that about Philip Rosenthal, the creator of Everybody Loves Raymond while Everybody Loves Kostya was being developed. You might have to see the unrelaxed look on Rosenthal's face to appreciate that one...



Seen any good movies lately? I'm sometimes stumped when I realize that my disc will arrive at the Netflix warehouse and number one will be bumped up and what's next in my queue is not necessarily the movie that I really want to watch. How is it possible to have over 100 items in one's queue and still have nothing to watch?

Off Your Knees or CrossFit Basic Training, Round 2

Five of us gathered in the lobby before class and we all had the same question: Are you sore?

Two of us were still sore post-yoga and Epsom Salt. Seeing that I was still walking down the stairs sideways, I had no idea how I was going to negotiate round two.

Instead of Leeny and Libbie, it's Leeny and Laurie running things for round two...

Warm-Up

30 seconds of stepping up on a rather industrial-size box

30 seconds of the Russian Step Up (one leg remaining on box while the other touches the ground then knee up)

30 seconds of jumping jacks

30 seconds of Russian Step Up with other leg

30 seconds of criss cross jumping jacks

30 seconds of mountain climbers

shoulder rotations...then super planks

plank jacks

We do pull-ups with human-size rubber bands and we practice on the rings which are not so friendly the second time around; rings dips are crazy.

How do you do a deadlift? Glad you asked. Make sure your shoestrings are under the bar, get the bar next to your shins, butt out, chest out, stare at the logo on the wall and, if you're me, Laurie's gonna correct your sorry form. My problem might have started with the lack of shoestrings.



During swings, I get more of Laurie's attention. I'm gonna get you a towel. She also gets me a 25 pound kettlebell because, apparently, I wildly swung the 20 pound one. She loops the towel through the kettlebell (a technique she uses with men) and I try to practice better form. I swing the 25 pounder and the momentum almost carries me back which prompts one of my classmates to mock cough and say Epsom Salt...

18...15...12...Time Priority

18 Swings

18 Push-Ups

18 Slams

15 Swings

15 Push-Ups

15 Slams

12 Swings

12 Push-Ups

12 Slams

Before we start on 18...15...12, we discuss logistics. A classmate wants to know if we get tired, can we switch to doing knee-style push-ups and Laurie quickly said:

I don't let people do them on their knees. If someone does push-ups on their knees, that means they've been doing it that way their whole life.

Apparently, Laurie wants to free your mind...

I decide to do push-ups on the bar that goes across the weight bench. Laurie corrects me on that one too. Later, she wants me to try doing a push-up with one of those human-size rubber bands attached to the pull-up bar and I actually like this method better.

I feel punch-drunk and I'm the last one to finish 18...15...12. I stagger but I manage not to do a push-up on my knees. Now, if I can just remember all that stuff about proper form...

As Many Rounds As Possible (AMRAP) or CrossFit Basic Training, Round I

Group coupons can be hazardous to your third chakra or, on a milder level, hazardous to your sensibilities. In yet another group coupon tip from me, never buy two from a company before you've tried that company out once. Otherwise, you might be left with a coupon that you have no desire to use. Of course, you can always try to resell the coupon on CoupRecoup but I digressed...

When I finally hit the click button on the CrossFit deal, I reasoned that I could always not go or go to one class and if I went and it didn't work out, I didn't have to return...

Not too long after I purchased my coupon, I got a long letter from the owner of the CrossFit gym saying welcome and that she would like for me to pick out a session as soon as possible in addition to filling out an attached form to assess my fitness level. Wasn't expecting that letter so soon. And, oh yeah, Ms. Owner informed me that the facility is some industrial type situation that doesn't have air conditioning but the dock doors do provide relief. Un hunh, sure...

Whether you have been sedentary, generally active, or an elite athlete, our Basic Training session is tailored to prepare you for technical proficiency that is a prerequisite for our CrossFit group classes.

In Summary

my solar plexus is affected by nervousness

I sign yet another waiver and also find out about some disorder, Rhabdomyolysis, caused by too much muscle fiber tearing at once

also sign a waiver that CrossFit may videotape my image (ugh)

female instructor is beautifully toned (understatement)*

surprised that it's an all-female basic training class

warm up on rowing machine

I suck at jerks

my coordination takes a while to kick in

I like doing pull-ups on rings

I do five rounds of Workout of the Day (WOD) and feel as if I'm going to pass out

WOD for Newbies, AMRAP in 12 Minutes

Three Presses

Four Dip Presses

Five Jerk Presses

Eight Box Jumps

Eight Ring Pull-Ups

Eight Air Squats

Did you know that your pelvis crease should be lower than your patella when you do air squats? Un hunh...

Quadriceps take brunt of punishment

I cannot do a pull-up

Instructors, who are very good, say don't be discouraged...

*Unfair marketing advantage, for sure...

Mind Over...Paranoid Troglodyte

It's been so long since I've climbed that I had time to soak my Just Do It bag -- the one that I carry my climbing equipment in.

After my gym card was scanned, I immediately asked for a rope. See, I've been thinking about Paranoid Troglodyte or, as Patti likes to call it, The Orange Route. I also think of it as Sophie's Orange Route since she set it.

Paranoid Troglodyte is the lead test route. The last time that I practiced lead climbing, I was only able to clip in on two quickdraws. Paranoid... is a gnarly route that I can climb on top rope but add the element of lead climbing and, well, the gnarly route just got even gnarlier.

I haven't been climbing in two weeks because every body's schedules are all over the place but Patti and I managed to get on the same page today.

I warmed up first then I headed straight for Paranoid Troglodyte. I stopped many times but I was able to clip in all the way to the top.

See, I've been talking to myself -- telling myself that I need to relax and breathe more; you know, tap into that whole yoga thing that I've been doing.

I climbed Paranoid...again and again. The third time I could barely hold on but I made it to the top.

Patti gave me good tips. She noticed that I was bunching up my arm when I went to clip when I should have a straight arm. She also gave me technique tips about matching feet and hands -- a difficult maneuver for my chubby little hands and feet. I also got a reminder, from Patti, that you are pretty much bouldering until you secure yourself in at the second clip. In addition, I had forgotten that you need to give the lead climber slack when they're starting off. Of course, this is the opposite when top rope climbing...

At this point in the program, it started to remind me of front crawl breathing: arm reaching as far as possible, chest down, dispense with all air before you turn your head to take another one. Information overload.

I practiced more lead climbing and met my match on the final route of the day. I started z-clipping and back clipping. Why? My gym is replacing quickdraws and the new ones suck. I don't like the gates on them at all. I just pray that they won't take the quickdraws on Paranoid Troglodyte down before I've had a chance to take my lead climbing test.

Rock climbing has been in the news recently. I shared this article with my rock climbing buddies and Mike responded:

Thanks for the article. Now that it is becoming cool, do we have to put it aside?

Heehee...

Camaraderie Lost

I was torn on Tuesday since I wanted to go to yoga and I wanted to go swimming.

When I go to yoga, I can hardly make the outdoor pool that closes at eight. I'm able to get in about 20 minutes before it's time to get out. Of course, 20 minutes is better than nothing but it's not really worth the fury of stopping, changing clothes and eating in the car.

I decided to pause and hit an indoor pool that has afternoon swimming from 7:30 until 9:30 p.m. I was jonesing to swim but I also wondered whether I was pushing it...

I also felt odd going to the indoor pool because I haven't been since Memorial Day when the outdoor pool opened and I felt like I had lost my camaraderie with that particular community.

Got to the pool and it was way more crowded than I expected. I sat down for a minute, wondered if I should just go home, thought about gas burned for naught then went outside to my car. It was about 8:20. I decided to wait. This one family is about six members deep and they have a habit of leaving about 8:30. Sure enough, they spilled out of the pool house and into their car. I went in and there was an empty lap lane. I paid my money, chit chatted with the lifeguard and when I went to sign my name, I saw Kathleen ______. No way. I looked in the other lap lane and saw the telltale black swimming suit. It was Chatty Kathleen.

As I walked to the end of the lane, I said "Hi Kathleen" and she remembered my name. I know what you're thinking -- I should not have engaged but it would have been rude. Of course, she immediately started with the chatter. I thought I heard cadaver but was not sure. Yes, I heard cadaver. Kathleen had back surgery about four months ago and just got permission to start swimming again; she has cadaver bones from two people and a bunch of screws. After listening for a while, I jumped when I found a pause in her conversation and told Kathleen that I was going to get in a few laps. It was 8:45 and, realistically, I had about 30 minutes to swim.

Kathleen exited right around the time that I started swimming. After swimming outdoors, the water was shockingly chilly although I adjusted to the temp while Kathleen talked.

I did my ritual floating after doing laps, climbed out of the pool as the lifeguard yelled for her kids to also get out.

I'm glad that I went. I wanted to test my stamina for 25 yards of front crawl breathing since I've been doing pseudo-lane swimming at the outdoor pool.

Overall, I've still got it...

The Yoga Bug

Hasn't happened in a while but I experienced distorted vision earlier in the day. I temporarily viewed the world through a honeycomb-like bubble. I immediately went for the acupressure point between my thumb and index finger. I also held the third eye, rubbed my temples and took deep breaths and experienced a first, the sound of my chest popping. Okay, now that I think about it, there's been popping during a chest fly.

As I cleaned out my inbox, I came across an old Dr. Oz article on Oprah.com and I never tire of reminders to breathe:

Most of us never take a deep breath all day long. The most fundamental practice in yoga is the deep, belly breath through the nose. The diaphragm is a large muscle located just below the lungs that ideally should pull down the lungs during inspiration.

I was glad that yoga was on today's agenda. Didn't feel particularly stressed but there was the whole distorted vision thing...

There were only six of us so the instructor had us pull out chairs which we started off sitting in. For the first time since I've known him, he went into full teacher mode -- reminding us of the three bodies and how if the body is strong and the mind is weak, something needs to be worked on. He talked about the solar plexus, the third chakra and not letting mental turmoil in...

After doing all kinds of twists and after I had wobbled considerably, we were told to cross our arms and to hang loose which felt good but it was even better to have a clear view.

Saw this comic as I went through old papers and I think it's official: I've been bitten by the yoga bug.