With Ambivalence

On Saturday, went to hang out with my yoga classmates; it ended up being much longer than I had planned but it was a relaxing evening and I enjoyed talking with them and the chores can wait another week, month...

As we talked, my classmate Camille said that she was missing book club. Upon further discussion, Camille mentioned that they had read The Bluest Eye and I said that it really took listening to the audio version for me to fully appreciate this book. Camille asked if Morrison read her own book. Yes, I responded.

My yes lead me to listen to audio clips of The Bluest Eye and Song of Solomon. Hearing Morrison's voice was so sweet and it made me feel at ease.

After a month-long hiatus, went swimming last night. What I love about the latter part of the year is that the water is just a tad bit warmer. Don't really enjoy that open swim is moved back to 7:30 p.m. in the fall but I deal with it. I totally missed the water and my body felt properly stretched and in alignment afterward...

There's this woman who attends Zumba classes on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. I asked her tonight how she was doing and she said, with an ambivalent face, okay. I related.

Listened to about 40 minutes of the Kryptonite for the Inner Critic, Self-Compassion Series episode of 10% Happier then I moved on to different podcasts. For some reason, I gave it another try today and it was just what I needed.

Towards the end of yoga teacher training, I remember how Stacy said that she felt more generous and didn't feel the need to be so insular.

I'm not feeling very generous and after listening to most of Kryptonite, I know that's okay but I'm also looking forward to being more than okay.

Reminders

Went to Zumba on Saturday and that was quickly followed by leaf-raking.

During the really windy, snowy day - right after the 70 degree day, many leaves fell down. After I finished with leaves, chilled out until it was time to go to  a gathering with yoga classmates. Stayed longer than I intended but we were having a relaxing evening and catching up but goodbye Saturday...

Had not planned to but I just finished reading three books, back-to-back, about refugees, including one the 'Fugee gave me about a decade ago, After the Fall: Srebrenica Survivors in St. Louis. The one memory that pops into my mind is of people (seen via the news) trying to get water on Sniper Alley. Little did I know that many Bosnians would end up in St. Louis...

I'm taking a break from refugee stories to read yet another non-fiction book, An Embarrassment of Mangoes...

As I was heading home last night, I finished listening to the Scott episode of the Heavyweight podcast. I have liked most episodes but this one is definitely one of my favorites as it had an unexpected and soft ending.

Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my sound therapy course. To celebrate, I plan to buy myself a small gong on Black Friday or Cyber Monday

Three years ago, I was in Negril on a yoga retreat; darn those social media reminders.

Challenging

On Mondays I go a little bit out of my way to a Zumba class in the county.

Last week, the instructor let us know that she's taking a position at another fitness club in a frou-frou part of town. The class was an uncharacteristically quiet one. The teacher kept saying, "I'm not dead and you still have seven chances to dance with me and we're going to party it up and you can request your favorite songs and, as a matter of fact, you can still workout with me and, literally, request a spot."

I had a little dialogue going on inside my head about how nothing stays the same and how change is inevitable then I started planning to, possibly, shift around my schedule and I also started to think about classmates that I may not see again.

As we exited class, heard another student say that she wouldn't be able to make it to the other gym which is, literally, not a gym; it's like an intentional community. One of my coworkers is familiar with the the place and says that a day pass is $60 dollars...

Yesterday, it was 70 degrees. On my walk, I saw birds eating berries. When I looked up and saw the birds snacking, I was delighted.

Today was a different story. Supposedly, the streets were too warm for snow to build-up but it did build up, mostly, on the grass but it was persistent. My boss, who doesn't usually close or let us go home early, let us go home about an hour early.

Found out that Zumba was cancelled so I did the Latin Cardio on Amazon and a few Zumba videos on YouTube. Working out home is challenging.

Finished Zoya's Story, the second book in my campaign to read books that have been sitting on my bookshelves for a decade or more. 

Results

Just finished reading Letters to a Young Muslim. Heard Omar Saif Ghobash on On Being and instantly wanted to read it. Took me a couple of chapters to get into it but I liked it.

I'm going to try to start reading books that have been sitting on my shelves for years. First, I got Walter Mosley's Bad Boy Brawly Brown off the shelf. The very first sentence had less than five words but it reminded me of my dad. We watched Devil in a Blue Dress together and I remember how much he liked the character, Mouse.

It's kind of funny. I almost feel like I had a false start with BBBB at one point as it feels familiar...

Got to the gym and this woman asked me if I was going to Zumba. She had read the schedule and decided to try it. I told her that I couldn't stand the machines anymore. Her response, "Do you get better results with Zumba?" LOL, I haven't thought about results in a very long time. I just know that exercise is good for you and that it is good for me in many ways.

Went by the post office and the clerk asked if I wanted any particular stamps and I said, "The peace stamps." She looked puzzled and pointed to the stamps that I wanted and she said, "Oh, the Woodstock stamp." I said, "Yeah, it says ...peace and music forever..." The clerk started laughing very energetically. She had never noticed the words and then she pointed to the sizable poster on the wall and she said, "Oh my God, I'm so stupid."

I assured her that we all miss things.

She was still laughing as I walked away.

Wonder

Mighty Mississippi

I have bicycled more this month than I've bicycled all year.

I find myself craving more sleep on Saturdays and even 10:40 a.m. seems too early to exit the house for Zumba.

Saturday was a really good day for bicycling too -- left the house around 11:30 for a short ride, about seven miles, but I wasn't looking to ride for a long time so it worked for me. 

Saw fishermen as I usually do and I wonder if I would eat something out of the Mississippi River. Mentioned it to my brother and he'd seen a documentary, City Limits Fishing. Apparently, the Mississippi has lots of catfish. 

The workday was horrid. Didn't even feel like going to Monday Zumba which is usually my end-of-workday prize but I did go and felt better afterward.

Spring Rider

Went to a slow flow/restorative yoga class on Friday and spotted Stacy after class since it was a yoga teacher training weekend.

She told me and another yoga teacher "This is not a sustainable lifestyle." Tell me about it...

One of my colleagues that's in her 20's said that she feels like a robot. Tell me about it...

Before I saw Stacy on Friday, I saw a post that she put on social media saying that she had five days off between now and the end of the year. She wants to collaborate with more people but... time.

I have given up on how frequently I wash my hair, clean out the fish tank etc...

Went for a bike ride on Saturday and as I headed that way, I thought about how I probably would have to wear my long-sleeved shirt around my waist. Wrong! I had forgotten about how it's colder around water. I'm such a spring/summer rider that it didn't occur to me that it would be cold and windy. The weather was definitely an incentive to keep moving though.

Geese Strategy

Saw this sweet story on CBS Sunday morning about this 93-year-old who opened a bakery. The story provided much needed inspiration.

Starting Somewhere Else

There have been times when I've been on the St. Louis Riverfront Trail and it's felt like a vacation. Maybe it's the combination of being unplugged, chatting with people and seeing the animals that live there.

At some point during the week, I saw that the temperature would be perfect and I also saw that part of the trail is closed for construction. No matter, I plotted to start at the "end" of the route as opposed to the "beginning."

Got to the Chain of Rocks Bridge and saw that they had closed the parking lot so I turned around and started somewhere else. Also debated about whether I wanted to actually go back in the direction of the bridge because there are wicked hills on that part of the trail.

In the end, decided to give myself a gentle bike ride and I walked my bike up the hills and I didn't try to get to the middle of the bridge. I've only been on my bike about two times this year so I wanted to ease my way back in. So, today, I gave myself the gift of a gentle ride and a pass on chores.

The hill that doesn't look very hilly in this picture.

By the way, Gingerzingi, it was totally brave of you to take that level three vacation...