Sunday, June 21, 2015

Turning Down Awesome

The Day Without Rain, Forest Park
Did something that I have not done in a long time -- the 6.29 mile trail around Forest Park. I walked it without much whimpering but later in the day I had challenges walking because my left calf muscle was very tight...

Today is International Day of Yoga and I wanted to mark the occasion. Joy posted on Facebook that she was having a free 11:00 a.m. class to celebrate the first IDY.

11:00 was perfect because it was raining and I could have slept forever. I was delighted and dismayed by the rain since there's been so much of it lately.

Had mixed emotions about yoga too. I've been sad and yoga usually makes me feel better but...

Cried my way through class. My intention was Rodney King-ish -- Can we all just get along?

At one point during class, Joy came over and wanted to adjust my strap -- one end was on the ball of my foot and the other was around my head. I can make that feel awesome for you she said but I turned Joy down because I knew that if she touched me I would lose it -- more than I'd already lost it.

A friend of Joy's who is a swami came for IDY and took over the final pose. Her guided relaxation/meditation was awesome. The oms, shantis and mantra heightened the experience and soon as I walked out of the studio, I started bawling...

I am so sad about the Charleston massacre and Charleston makes me think of my half-brother that got, for all intents and purposes, executed. Thinking of my half-brother makes me think of my father and on and on.

And I probably should not have listened to How Does A Hospice Nurse Work?, A Slate at Work podcast. Think I would like nurse Kathy Kuencer though. One of her answers: I am not in the business of judging.

Forest Park


  1. I'm really sorry about your half-brother. I didn't know that. I hope the yoga helps you, and I'm sorry that IDY was shadowed by so much sadness. Can we hope that next year it will be a happier time, for everyone?

    Someone I know has a relative who was killed in Charleston. I'm not making this about me - it's not a close friend and I won't dramatize my tiny connection - but I will say I'm tired of hearing about "healing" and "seeking justice." Those are things that happen AFTER and there shouldn't be so many afters. Right now is BEFORE. It's before the next time - what are we going to do right now so there aren't any more afters?

    I don't know. Idon'tknowIdon'tknowIdon'tknow. Good people will keep trying to find answers and maybe someday we will.

  2. Re: my brother, it happened in July two years ago. I remember looking at articles which all said the same thing -- pretty much --but was surprised by a WordPress blog that documents US gun violence categorized by state and type (robbery, multiple shooting)...

    I hope that we find answers soon.