Graham Cracker Technical Knockout (TKO)

I am notorious for going to the grocery store for one item. I try to be environmentally responsible and, most of the time, when I make the rounds, I really make the rounds while my engine is all warm and efficient.

Well, I was jonesing for graham crackers and peanut butter which I have not had in awhile. I usually have a small apple and a tablespoon of peanut butter for a snack but I exhausted my supply of Gala apples, Aldi's was closed and I refused to pay the other stores' prices for apples.

I headed to Schnucks to get the graham crackers. At first, it took me awhile to find the Schnucks' brand. Then, not only did I find the Schnucks brand, I also found low fat written across one box. I've gotten in the habit of reading the nutrition facts and was deeply annoyed when I came across high fructose corn syrup. This stuff is so pervasive; it's like a weed or mint when it's not contained.

I decided to pony up more money and go with a name brand. Well, Nabisco and Keebler also have high fructose corn syrup in their graham crackers. For a while, I kept going back and forth down the cracker and cookie aisle like a pummeled boxer who is clearly out-matched and keeps getting knocked down to the mat but refuses to stay horizontal. I just kept going back and forth hoping that I had overlooked a brand. I wanted the cookie à la Hammy in "Over the Hedge" and, surely, because I wanted the cookie, there had to be a brand somewhere on the shelf for me.

Schnucks has an organic line called Full Circle but I didn't see any FC graham crackers. In the end, it was a TKO and my trip to the store for one item was all for naught. When you go to find an item, have your taste buds set for that unique treat and have to walk away empty-handed, well, that is the ultimate disappointment. No, that's not completely true. The quickness with which Monday morning arrives is the ultimate disappointment. But then again, I had a teacher who said Americans put too much stock in Friday. I have a feeling, though, that that teacher had not been in America long and, if he is still here, probably puts a lot a stock in Friday now.

After seeing the way high fructose corn syrup was made in the documentary "King Corn," I try to avoid the stuff. Here's a trailer from "King Corn" and a very brief scene from "Over the Hedge."