If I Had More Money or Stuff People Say to Me

Me: I feel like I'm getting in the  way of you staring down the wall. 

Boulderer: That's okay -- we'll just stare at you awkwardly.

I couldn't read you today. Where you relaxed?

Massage Therapist

I've been giving the plant Reiki.

 Kim re: her big plant

Are you talking to your organs yet? 

I expressed doubt when an acquaintance mentioned that she talked to her organs but Hazira thinks that I've now reached the point where I may very well talk to mine.

Sounds like you're hallucinating. 

Hazira re: my ability to see yoga everywhere.

I like to get there early and do savasana before class starts...

Colleen to me re: the time commitment it takes to practice Bikram yoga.

If I had more money, I’d have a lot more cheese at home...

Sarah

Who told you to stop? 

Dawn to the class as we warmed up our abs prior to boxing.

She broke it, like, three times... 

Ademir to me re: his girlfriend's Chinglish

Me: As you see, I never take my mats out of the car.

Cindy: When you get a more expensive one, you will.