The Year That Was

In February went to Montego Bay with my mother and aunt. The most memorable moment was picking up a passenger on several walks who showed me the real Jamaica.

In between February and May, my mother didn't feel well and I wondered if I should sign up for yoga teacher training -- (YTT) originally slated to start in March but ended up starting in June. I take the plunge -- never imagining that I will make it past month three.

My aunt Debbie wishes that we would have waited until her spring break to go to Jamaica and I promise that I will go on a trip with her so when she asks me if I would like to go to Las Vegas in July, I agree. My cousin, Chiquita, also joins us. I enjoy the trip and am in awe of the Valley of Fire.

Somewhere along the way, I get fascinated by singing bowls. I'm sure the fascination has a lot to do with the sound meditations that I went to. Unbelievably, I sign up for a sound therapy training.

It's kind of funny. One of my sound sisters, mentioned collecting yet another certificate in a long line of certificates and I realize that I have a few certificates:

1). Healing Touch, Level 1

2). Sound Therapy Training

Right now, I am in love with sound therapy.

For lunch today, went to Hello Juice and Smoothie with a fellow yogi and got the Match Hemp bowl with peppermint, banana and cacao. Next up, was a  4:30 p.m. yoga class. Knew that it was going to be more intense than I like but I wanted to meet a YTT goal.

Chiquita had me cracking up because she thought that there wouldn't be very many people at the New Year's Eve yoga class. I assured her that yogis like to reflect and set intentions. The class was, of course, packed -- to the point that the teacher had to adjust the heat which still didn't work because there was so much energy in the room; we totally fogged up the windows. As expected, the class was intense but fun. We also had a DJ. It was a perfect way to pay homage to New Year's Eve.

Rainy Day Session

Abandoned Bird Cage on a Bench at Work*

Last Thursday one of my coworkers asked me to deliver a Secret Santa gift. You like to walk, she said. It's kind of funny that I have a reputation, with one of the youngins, for walking.

The annual holiday work party was on Friday and it was ridiculous how I was looking forward to stepping away from my desk just a few hours earlier than usual. Won a Starbucks gift card and it's so weird; I've won gift cards the last two years and sensed that I would win something again this year...

Went to a 5:00 p.m. yoga class on Friday and everyone wanted to do something gentle. Stopped at home to eat then went to give a sound massage. It was a very cool p.m., rainy day session and the first of four sound massages that I had scheduled this past weekend. I've seen the sessions referred to as sonic massages and I like that description.

For the last three sessions, no one knew what to expect and they were all surprised that the bowls would be placed on their bodies. I was thrilled that, at some point, all three newbies fell asleep. Made some rookie mistakes but, thankfully, they weren't intrusive ones.

Enjoyed the meaningful conversations after the sessions too and it was super cool to see the relaxed look on people's faces afterwards while chatting with them. Also feel like I learned something from every session and that sound therapy is making me even more mindful. Something that I'll be adding is a little centering exercise at the beginning of each session. Forgot to do that yesterday but it's definitely something that I want to incorporate.

My main soundtrack for the weekend was The Best of Tuck and Patti as I drove around to sessions and while doing errands. Managed to get a few chores done. Also went to Zumba on Saturday and for a short walk on Sunday. It was an exhilarating and humbling weekend. 

*The bird cage made me think of Paul Laurence Dunbar's Sympathy poem.

Receptive

There was a very intense incident that occurred at yoga teacher training which I'm not at liberty to discuss. It left many of us shaken and confused but was a powerful lesson in people not being perfect and that sometimes people just have "a moment."

Went to the bathroom and noticed that someone had put a postcard in there and I had an idea of who it was and she said that her way of dealing with anxiety etc., is by trying to put some positivity into the world.

During training weekends, we have a lot of props so I had a yoga bench of sorts built up and when I looked underneath my bolster, there was the sweetest card... The positivity ambassador had struck again...

Did my third Pro Bono sound session. The client was very receptive to sound therapy and told me that she found the session relaxing and was going to bed right away after I left. The next day I asked her how she'd slept and she said that she slept so soundly that she overslept...

Love seeing my bowls underneath my table.

To Be More Mindful

Did my first post-training sound massage with a friend who has been to a sound meditation, gets regular Ashiatsu massage and has cats. In addition to my friend, I was definitely interested to see how the cats would respond.

Made a checklist of everything to take but forgot to use everything. Also made a blooper right at the start when I grabbed a bowl and extinguished the sing. We had a laugh and I continued. If nothing else, it was a reminder to be more mindful.

When I struck the first big bowl, my friend's cats' eyes bulged out. Two of them stayed around and one got up on the table during the final minutes of the massage. They were very curious about the bowls but I guess curiosity is a cat thing. They were all super excited about the table too and stretched out on it. One used the table as a launching pad to get to the Christmas tree area. Most importantly, my friend said that she felt relaxed, enjoyed the sound massage and her cats took major naps afterwards.

Cat Approved

Spot the cat...

But What’s New?

Swam on Tuesday and couldn't sleep because of congestion and chalked it up to swimming. Went to Iyengar yoga on Wednesday and was just fine but, during the night, my mucus production ramped up. I have a cold -- a low-key one but still...

It has been so sweet having this time off. Got some stuff done (washing clothes, draining the lawn mower etc.) but still have lots of stuff to do but what's new?

On Thanksgiving Day, looked through the sales papers and it's so tempting to buy stuff that you don't need. My sound trainer mentioned that her family went a year without buying anything. They did make a one-item exception for birthdays though.

I did buy items related to the sound therapy training since they also had a Black Friday special and I'm also thinking about buying a sports bra from Enell since they are 30% off. Knew that Gingerzingi had mentioned Enell in her blog before so took a peek to get her opinion...

Took my mother to get eyeglasses today and they had a 20% discount. Wish I had known but, alas, my prescription has expired...

One of coworkers has been inviting me over to her place and since I had extra time, I went on Friday. Holy crap, she had all the Thanksgiving leftovers.

The Goal

Crystal Singing Handle Bowl Sweetness

Made it through the sound therapy training and it's interesting that "finishing" is a concern of mine lately.

On Friday, I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I had pretty much made it through the training and that Saturday was for, the most part, a formality.

There are some things that I wish I had researched even further but, overall, I'm pleased with the training. Witnessed many classmates fall soundly asleep as we practiced different techniques. The goal was to relax the body and that's what happened the majority of the time. I'm excited to try the therapy on someone other than my classmates...

One woman said that returning to St. Louis was a double-edged sword because she knew that memories of her deceased parent would come flooding back but she said that it was also the first time that she had been able to laugh and relax.

I also felt a shift -- relaxation and empowerment. I've been worried about my mom and I still am but I don't feel gripped by fear.

We got loosey-goosey on day five and the trainer was like Don't make me get up on a chair but, as you can see by the expression on her face, she was joking. She said that we were a good group and, in other trainings, she's had to to get up on a chair from day one to redirect people's attention etc.

The trainer, Beth, usually has a co-teacher but she wasn't available so Beth brought her daughter along. I got a kick out of seeing her daughter grab a pillow and lie down on the floor before almost anyone else. Beth joked, "Now all I have to do is grab a singing bowl and she falls asleep."

I had classmates from Florida, Kansas, Texas and Wisconsin. I'm going to miss being in the sound cocoon with them.

One of my coworkers saw my posts about the sound training and she said that her sister told her that sound therapy is becoming very popular in Vietnam. When I asked her if she was interested, she said, "No, I don't have any stress. In my country it's very stressful; here, it's not." And I had almost forgotten that this coworker was held up at gunpoint in the middle of the day...

In the picture below, we're doing an experiment to see how the singing bowl vibrates.

Her Joy

Yes, I took precious PTO to take a sound therapy training and it has been worth it. For about two months now, I've been doing the work of two people. Over it...

On the first day of training, our sound trainer had me cracking up as she, matter-of-factly, asked us not to wear essential oils because, apparently, people who take sound therapy trainings, also like essential oils.

My fellow trainees include a hypnotist, massage therapists, a meditation teacher and yoga teachers. Our trainer is also a yoga teacher (500-hour).

On the first day, I just shook my head about how I get myself into such things but, as I told my fellow trainees, I'm trying to honor my interests.

Our days go something like this: debrief from the 50-minute sound session as giver and receiver; brief sound concert; discussion of new instrument; exploration of new technique; lunch, brief lecture and then hands-on training.

I'm not sure of the science behind it but the sound massage is just as relaxing as a hands-on massage...

For two days, I went to a lunch spot by CityGarden until someone invited me to lunch and I decided to expand my comfort zone and go with D. I will probably go with her again tomorrow because I'm getting such a kick out of her joy in eating meat. Her partner is a hardcore vegan so she doesn't usually eat meat around him. She is enjoying the hell out of her food and, as we eat, she decides, with great enthusiasm, on what she's going to have the next day...

I wish that the 'Fugee, who has absconded to Europe, was around so that I could practice sound therapy on her.

This Experiment of Mine

Near CityGarden, downtown STL

Jumped right from yoga teacher training into a sound therapy training. I've had my eye on the sound therapy training for months but when the day arrived, I felt like I had lost my mind.

As I prepared to exit the house, this story came on about the Navy's first female executive officer. The lines that grabbed my attention.

There are a lot of times in life when you are a little nervous or afraid to do something because you think you're going to fail. But so what???

One of my friends said that her friend wanted something to read in the mindful or self-help category. My eyes fell on, Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi which I read but am now curious to re-read now that I'm six months into yoga teacher training.

The author, Brian Leaf, uses a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson to start Chapter 2:

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. 

Took a bubble bath tonight as I'm feeling unsettled -- even with all of the sound therapy. Afterward, I made tea and continued reading Skill in Action: Radicalizing Your Yoga Practice to Create a Just World. This book was not assigned for yoga teacher training but Stacy, our trainer, thinks it's an important read so for those of us who want to we're able to swap an assignment. I chose the swap. 

Neither Are You...

Started writing this post on Halloween when I got super tickled by a classmate who showed up in a dinosaur costume and wore it during the whole class.

This weekend yoga teacher training happened. It was super interesting, demanding and disorienting, as usual, because I'm off my regular schedule — little exercise and no meal planning etc.

I managed to turn in all of my assignments that were due. I also started a required Iyengar yoga series this past week and I've made it to the Sunday Evening Meditation class for the past three weeks. I am really liking the meditation class.

On tap for this weekend's training session was Trauma-Informed Yoga and Social Justice -- two heavy topics.

Four black yoga teachers, who recently formed a group, came to lead us in a yoga practice and also talked to us about social justice. In their presentation, they used a quote from James Baldwin's essay,  Stranger in the Village, where he talked about no one in Switzerland having seen a Negro and the group likened it to the scarcity of Black people in some yoga studios.

Our other two speakers talked about being allies to marginalized communities. Loved this quote that they used in their presentation.

I am, in many ways, off my "game" -- lots of irons in the fire right now.

The Meditator

A new bed frame was in order since a wheel casing broke making it necessary to prop up a corner of my bed. Thought about replacing the one component but the 'Fugee suggested that, since the frame was ancient, I should go ahead and replace the whole thing. After picking up a new frame, we headed to Marshalls and JC Penney since I wanted to get a backpack with wheels for my yoga books and paraphernalia.

The 'Fugee came over on Saturday and we moved my dilapidated bookshelf, first, then we dealt with the box spring and the mattress and the gigantic dust bunnies that had been living under my bed. As I told the 'Fugee, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but I did sneeze like crazy -- even with a mask on; plus, I ended up with a wicked case of congestion.

It took us about four hours to put the frame together, move the new bookshelf into my room and sort through the, roughly, 20 pairs of shoes that were scattered underneath my bed. The 'Fugee picked up my ladder bookshelf from Aldi after I had expressed interest in having one. We put that together about two weeks ago and it remained in the living room until the frame was delivered...

The 'Fugee attending to fine details. 

The 'Fugee's idea to display my stationery boxes.

While in Marshalls, I spotted the same yoga block that I had gotten in Target for half the price. I was so annoyed but had to tell myself that you can't make the right decision 100% of the time. Had I gone looking for the block at Marshalls, it probably would not have been there...

To fulfill one of my yoga teacher training requirements, I went to a mediation class at another yoga studio last night. Before we started, Josh asked us what had brought us to class and I confessed that I was going through yoga teacher training (I would need paperwork signed) and I was tired of asanas and wanted to fulfill my observation by taking his class.

After class we got into a circle and talked a bit about the experience. I totally enjoyed the class. Josh did a guided meditation through the five senses and I liked how he said Meditation can be something that you look forward to. Next week, he'll use a different technique and I'm looking forward to attending. The meditation class is 60 minutes but it only felt like about 20. I was able to go to that space between sleep and full alertness.

As we gathered our items, a fellow meditator wished me well with yoga teacher training. I wasn't expecting that and thought she was sweet to wish me well.

To This Point

Retreat Center Library

There was a retreat built-in to yoga teacher training and that happened this past weekend. There was the usual gnashing of teeth over what to pack. Along with regular stuff, my packing gear had to include a yoga mat, books and blocks.

For quite a while, I actually spaced out on the fact I would need to take a day off because I wouldn't be going to the studio on Friday but three hours away. 

Also knew right off the bat that it wouldn't be a retreat/retreat because we would still be engaged in teacher training activities.

What's the point of a retreat that's not a retreat? Bonding activity? I was also a little nervous about who I was going to room with. Stacy told us to see whose habits were similar and figure it out...

Three people volunteered to drive and we met near the yoga studio and set off for our destination that ultimately led us to a red dirt road. 

Our training days were longer since we had an abbreviated day on Sunday. We left at 3:45 p.m. and we normally get out at 7. 

It was a beautiful space that we trained and practiced in but it still felt weird to be in a different space for training. 

I worried about food and thought one of the employees, Michael, exaggerated when he talked about Naomi and Yumi's cooking skills. Michael did not lie. The food was super and even though the WiFi was weak, there were no TVs and the well water was cold, I wanted to stay -- just for the food.

I was not crazy about the thin walls and the claustrophobic dorm rooms. We had to keep the doors closed because of the heating system and about three people got hot showers over 2.5 days. One of the yoga teachers told me about some cold shower theory...

The trainees were given the task of conducting a restorative yoga class -- relay-style; Stacy commented that it felt like a seamless class and that her back even relaxed. We also practiced a Sun Salutation A blindfolded to experience withdrawal of the senses. It totally makes you slow down and be more thoughtful.

My view -- after I moved away from heat source. 

I was surprised to find out that one of my yoga mates has five cats. I quickly messaged (when I reached the dining hall) my former coworker who just adopted her fourth cat. Another yoga mate has four dogs. When I encounter such animal lovers, it always makes me think of my friend Lori who rescued many animals and it also makes me think of that person's compassion.

Retreat Center Cat

Overall, it was a good experience. We learned a lot and we learned more about each other and, together, we most certainly had a Snack Empire. My favorite snacks came from Kakao. One of my yoga peep's husband had given her treats to share with friends. She said it's something that he doesn't usually do and it was an olive branch of sorts. Either way, I'm glad that he did...

I am officially at the halfway mark of yoga teacher training. Wasn't so sure that I would make it to this point.

So Tidy

My yoga studio had a September "challenge" and I hesitated to join as everyone's homes and bodies looked so tidy but then I decided to jump into the fray because if I don't represent, then who will? One of the poses that I thought that I would never attempt was wheel pose. However, my yoga trainer is always talking about accessible yoga so I decided to try wheel pose with a stability ball.

Continuing with my outdoor theme, I spotted sunflowers on a corner. So, I did legs up the fence (i.e. legs up the wall) on a fairly busy corner. I can only imagine what this man driving by was thinking when he saw me...

Work has me thinking about someone that I have not thought about in ages -- Tupac Shukar. I keep thinking God forgive me; I got the spirit of a thug in me and It's just me against the world and I woke up screaming f... the world. 

Given the "tools" that I have at my disposal, I don't worry about totally devolving but...

Speaking of rappers, love this memo to Kanye West:

Memo to Kanye West: This is what an informed opinion sounds like pic.twitter.com/Ssv0ZE0l2L

— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) October 2, 2018

TKO Look

I've gotten another weekend of yoga teacher training (YTT) under my belt.  Learned about restorative and yin yoga from a guest lecturer and she was so well-versed that I felt overwhelmed. Have to continuously tell myself that YTT is a learning experience.

I've also finished another yoga book -- Judith Hanson Lasater's Living Your Yoga and I can see how people totally immerse themselves in the study of yoga or other pursuits...

Went to Zumba today and so many of us had that Monday TKO look on our faces. Zumba definitely helped.

One of my colleagues took me out to lunch even though she had gifted me items already for my birthday. I chose this new smoothie and juice bar and had the Ocean smoothie bowl made with blue spirulina. Not even sure what spirulina is but that smoothie bowl was amazing. My colleague also insisted that I get the avocado toast. I usually make fun of avo toast but this was the most amazing  toast in the whole wide world.

Was also pleasantly surprised when one of my former colleagues rounded the corner with her sweet baby in her arms.

I won't mention how my right shoulder blade was so tight this weekend that I had to stand against the wall, to brace myself, whenever I had to sneeze. My shoulder blade tells me that my stress level is higher than it's been.

Visitor

I was genuinely surprised when I woke to discover it was just Thursday.

Was not at work for long before someone told me and another coworker that there was a cute little kitty at the front door. The kitty had gotten in and someone had placed him back outside.

No one in my family ever had cats so I can't say that I'm a cat person but this little guy certainly tugged at my heart strings. He was super friendly and playful and, at one point, he wrapped his legs around my arms -- so cute.

The consensus is that he belongs to someone but one of my coworkers says that if she sees him again, he is going home with her.

I’m glad that I got chance to spend time with the kitty and I hope he’s safe.

E

Coincidence?

It's always "fun" when a customer starts off a conversation with "I have a problem." That's how I was greeted immediately after a Friday meeting... This customer did surprise me by saying "Never give up" twice.

Went to Saturday Zumba which I haven't been to in over a month. The Zumba teacher's mother surprised me by being super chatty. She said that, lately, she struggles M-F and Sunday to get in 10,000 steps. She's been averaging 4,000 a day and she's also been eating way more than she had been eating.

All that to say that "the struggle is real." Her story is a reminder that we all struggle, duh!

I've been requesting a lot of CDs from the library, including Bob Marley's Live! Have I never heard Get Up, Stand Up live or does the refrain Don't give up the fight... resonate with me right now?

Played Damian Marley's Stony Hill while cooking earlier and the lyrics Don't you give up on yourself ... from  Looks Are Deceiving stood out to me. Coincidence?  I think not.

Ha, just realized that the Aretha Franklin CD that I got from the library was due two days ago. There's totally a waiting list.

The Real World

There was a family and friends' picnic yesterday -- spearheaded by the patriarch, Charles, on my father's side of the family.

My sister-in-law visited and I haven't really sat down and had a hearty conversation with her in a while. Saw a cousin that I hadn't seen since junior high school and I was introduced to a cousin whose parents divorced when she was two. Because her mother moved to California, she didn't know any paternal relatives; what a trip -- not much different than my own trip of not really knowing a lot of my father's folks.

One of my younger cousins  said the same thing about not being familiar with many of the people at the picnic. It's kind of weird because I am more familiar with this cousin's sister than I am with her. Oh well, what can you do? As Maya Angelou said: When you know better, you do better.

My cousin, the patriarch, has unbelievable carpentry skills. He made a train for the kids! It was somewhat funny, though, because someone was driving it and she said that my cousin had too many rules about the operation of the train.

There was regular barbecue type food plus popcorn, snow cones, candy apples etc. When the call went out for homemade ice cream, I was like, ugh, but my cousin Chiquita's childhood friend was like Get some. You don't eat like this every day. We live in the real world... 

And the last part of her statement resonated with me a lot.

Inching Along

Tried to mow the lawn before I left for Vegas last month. And, wow, Vegas seemed like it happened eons ago... The mower would not start so I decided to use an on-demand mowing service. It worked three times.

On August 7th, a scheduled service date, it rained and the guy didn't come and he didn't come and he didn't come. Finally, I texted him to say that it was okay if he didn't want to mow the lawn anymore but to let me know. He assured me that he was interested, looked forward to my business...then nothing.

In the meantime, the grass continued to grow. I texted my brother who recommended a couple of things, including looking for troubleshooting tips for the brand that I have. It kept turning over but wouldn't stay on and I was so frustrated that I started crying.

At some point, my neighbor heard me trying to start the mower. This neighbor is good at fixing and building but I hadn't wanted to bother him because he had a health scare recently. Still, he told me that he'd check out the mower and that I could also borrow his.

Had today off so I called him at a respectable time. He put his foot on top of the lawnmower and it started immediately. I was gobsmacked. He said that, from listening, he didn't think much was wrong and he was also surprised by how long the cord is. He advised me to wait because the lawn was wet from yesterday's rain but I couldn't take the untidiness any longer. I tried to hack some of it down but where it was biggest, I just inched along. It took me a little over two hours because, of course, the mower stalled out because of the wet grass. I was so relieved, though, because I was on the verge of loading the mower in my car and taking it to a shop.

My yard, especially the back, was a proper jungle and, yet, I still didn't mention monkeys...

No one really uses the expression “monkey this up,” even when they’re not running against a black man for governor It isn’t whether he intended that to be racist. It was racist. No walkback changes that. Nothing to add. https://t.co/Tr0GsJXUOx

— Jamil Smith (@JamilSmith) August 29, 2018

Risks

The 'Fugee sent me a 'gram with Oprah and Gayle who are in Croatia right now and my first thought was Oh, it would be nice to be rich and in Croatia. What a thought...

I went to Croatia and I had a good time without the rich part...

Thinking about my mood and the word doldrums just popped into my mind. That's not a completely accurate word but I'm also not feeling light-hearted either.

Worked at a festival this weekend and I was at the entrance. Didn't get to do a whole lot of people watching but the people sitting near the park signage captured my attention...and so did the bumble bees.

The bag that I was carrying dropped from a chair and my camera (within a camera bag) was in there and hit the ground. The shell of my camera cracked a bit. I was so annoyed with myself for being careless but, of course, I didn't think my bag was going to drop out of the chair and I also thought the camera bag offered more protection.

What to say? Accidents happen. I like to take pictures and I like to have my camera and there are risks with anything.

Never been here before! Where?? Everybody looks great in a walking-sitting -shopping -when clothes match the door shot ...swipe left

A post shared by Gayle King (@gayleking) on Aug 24, 2018 at 1:42am PDT

When You Don’t Feel Like Sitting Up

Took a different way to work to see this hibiscus...

The teacher, Kelli, is about 4'11, petite and all muscle.  I've heard about her before but I'm pretty sure that I'm relatively safe in a Basics and Beyond class. Although, the beyond part can be played with...

The Kundalini teacher (who taught the class before Kelli's) explains that her class is new and that she enjoyed Kelli's 15 minutes during the special relay class that happened during the studio's one-year anniversary but that she is strictly Kundalini and will  have to work up to participating in Kelli's class...

Kelli checks in with everyone and hands out assist/no assist coasters. It's yogi's choice for how we start -- in easy pose or on our backs. I go with the back because, frankly, I didn't feel like sitting up.  The beginning of class is so sweet. Kelli asks us to remember when yoga first came on our radars and what kept us going back to our mats; she asks us to connect to that feeling.

I almost laughed when Kelli said that we were doing "Turbo Dog" -- I'd never heard downward-facing dog referred to in that manner but, you know, I'm better at taking care of myself so I modified. Plus, my body had not fully recovered from the hours of yoga practice that took place last weekend.