Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Things My Grandmother Gave Me

In a record five minutes, my grandmother offered me Popeyes, greens, watermelon and V8 Diet Splash (10 calories per 8oz serving).

I didn't bother to reiterate that I'm not eating fried foods.

My grandmother insisted that I take a peach fruit cup that she scored from Aldi. Put it in your bag, she said. Then she went back for a plastic fork. Later on, g'ma wanted to give me a biscotti mix (with decorations still lingering) that
she got for Mother's Day. I didn't want to take it but she insisted. When I looked at the ingredients, the fat content was actually not that bad. I'll either try it or give it away. I also left with the hand fan (also from Mother's Day) that I had forgotten last Sunday.

When I was visiting my Aunt Al later on, she asked me if I wanted a soda. No, I say. I can't tell you the last time that I had a soda. What do you drink then?, my aunt wanted to know. Water or green tea, I report.

Actually, I do remember the last time that I had a soda. It was in October and I was fresh off disembarking from a cruise ship. I had half of a white soda which broke an almost two year streak of not having the stuff. I had already sinned greatly -- eating at midnight, ordering room service, one dessert, two desserts, lots of cheese etc. etc. Even though I exercised while the boat was rocking (kudos to me), climbed the stairs and walked laps around the deck, I had a five pound cruise setback. Never, ever go on a cruise (unless it's a fitness one) if you are trying to lose weight. Cruises appeal to your basic human desires and even though it seemed mathematically impossible (an extra 17,500 calories) for me to gain five pounds, somehow it happened and I did not feel good at all about the gluttony.

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