Vivid

Had a vivid, short dream that I received a holiday card from one of my college friends with all kinds of details and pictures so I sent her a card along with a few others; I'm not really the holiday card sending type.

After our unexpected day off due to inclement weather, an AmeriCorps came to my office and we exchanged pleasantries. She asked me about the off day and I told  her it was nice to not have to go anywhere plus to check a few tasks of the list like cleaning the fish tank, an overdue task.

She said similar things about how she'd had apples in the refrigerator for so long that she didn't want to touch them but, go figure, they made great applesauce. She also said that she'd cleaned her cat's litter box which was also overdue.

We are not alone in struggling to keep up...

Provided sound for a restorative class last Wednesday.

I also went to a sound event with singing bowls and harp on the Winter Solstice. Spotted at least six yoga teachers, including myself, which made me think of something Dianne Bondy said when she was here: I don't know about where you come from but where I live, you can throw a quarter in Whole Foods and hit 15 yoga teachers... 

One of the yoga teachers at the Winter Solstice event.

Got to work today and there was an email about a colleague whose wife had died "after a long battle with cancer" the day of our holiday party and I kept thinking how could the battle be long because my colleague looks like he's 28-years-old... :(

You or Me

Because of the forecast, decided not to make my usual Sunday afternoon trek to Illinois.

At some point, woke up in the wee hours of the morning and saw a text message from work that we'd be opening on a delayed schedule. Quickly turned my regular alarm off and edited another one for a different wake up time. What an unexpected gift.

My coworker messaged me to say that she didn't feel comfortable driving and almost immediately messaged me to say that we were actually closed as she had spotted the message on Facebook.

There was some type of glitch with the alert system and after checking the automated message decided to check my work emails and communicated with the people that I needed to and then I shut down all work stuff...

With my extra time, I cleaned out the fish tank, exercised, read and, otherwise, chilled out. Couldn't believe how sore I was from the 10 minutes of kickboxing which makes me feel like my workout regime was in need of shaking up.

Took another bubble bath tonight and did more yoga. Reached out to a friend to tell her that one of my cousins and an aunt are off tomorrow and she said, "Yeah, I don't think that's going to be you or me tomorrow."

Nice

Had our work holiday party on Friday and it's sad how many of us were looking forward to a  half day away from our desks.

Thankfully, the party veered from the usual structure and we had more fun. I also continued my streak of winning a door prize and got a gift card. I have treated myself to plenty in November and December so not sure what I will treat myself to.

Alison messaged me while we were having our party and I sent her a picture of my plate in response to her "What are you doing?" and she responded back: starch fest. Indeed. I am still thinking about the lentil samosas; they were so perfect...

Checked my Saturday Zumba teacher's social media and found out that they are closing all classes at this particular gym. This is the second time that they've remodeled a bigger space and another gym has been affected. So, goodbye to two Zumba teachers. One of my classmates seems to think that they are pushing their Les Mills classes...

With the exception of going to out to get ginger, I've been in the house, due to the weather, all day and it's been nice. I pulled out my workout DVDs and did a segment from a Leslie Sansone DVD and also did kickboxing plus just moved around the house. It looks like there's going to be a change in my exercise routine.

Understatement

Bought way more than I expected post-Thanksgiving. Planned to acquire at least one more singing bowl and did my usual back and forth about the necessity of purchasing more stuff.

My sound equipment arrived on Wednesday which was the same day that I was collaborating with Jocelyn to do a restorative, sound experience so I took my new bowl along after testing it out. 

This woman, Lisa, approached me and shared that she is a St. Louis native, does sound healing but now lives on the West Coast. When she comes home, she likes to check out the sound scene.

Lisa and I talked plus exchanged Instagram information after class and was surprised when I saw that she followed me on Twitter until I remembered that my Twitter information is on Instagram but I was even more surprised when I saw what Lisa tweeted; it was so moving (understatement).

I experienced doubt about my purchase and about sound therapy and Lisa's generous tweet was a sign that I needed.

Comfort

What time will you be here? That was my question to my nephew, D, who wanted to know what time I usually wake up. 

D told me his estimated time of arrival was 6:00 a.m. so I set my alarm clock and heard his knock on the door right around that time. 

My aunt G said that she was bringing breakfast. When she arrived and pulled a dozen eggs out of her shopping cart, I realized that she was bringing the materials for breakfast. We are not the best at communicating in my family.

By the time that my aunt arrived, I knew that my nephew and his companions were hungry so I started making omelets. My aunt didn't like the way that I added raw vegetables (mushrooms, bell peppers, onions) and she also told me to slow down because she usually does eggs last. 

My aunt likes to cook her bell peppers and onions before adding them to omelets; you learn something new every day. Despite our different techniques, it was nice to stand side-by-side with my aunt and cook. That saying about too many cooks in the kitchen totally popped into my head though. 

Everyone got fed and, as I passed out coffee, thought about a picture in the office of a massage therapist that I used to go to. It said something like: As we provide comfort, we are comforted... 

On Saturday I was totally confused about the whereabouts of Friday. What had I done? Where had the time gone? 

I barely moved on Thursday and Friday and I don't remember the last time I moved so little...

Decided to take extra days off and I'm glad that I did. I was not prepared, at all, to return to work. So much energy and work goes into the holidays. It feels like, at a minimum, we should devote a week to Thanksgiving. Everything just feels so rushed... 

Reached out to Alison about going to Gloria's yoga class. That 60 minutes of yoga felt so good. Haven't been doing much studio yoga lately. Kind of looking for a yoga home again. Once upon a time, thought that I had found one.  For now and for the most part, I'm content to do yoga at home. Also, everything is messing with my head, including All My Relations and White Women Killed Yoga. 

Next to Last Dance

Had a dream that I went to a yoga event and left my singing bowls at home.

The "leaving" dream used to be about traveling. I would get to the airport and not have my camera. On the way back to the airport, I would have to take a boat and would have a hard time paddling...

This weekend went to the funeral for my twin uncles' half brother. Their brother, Main,  looks more like one of my uncle's twin than the actual twin. Main also had avsimilar knack for being able to fix just about anything like my other twin uncle who doesn't look like him.

One of Main's friends got up to give remarks and he chuckled after every two sentences and it was so nice to hear the laughter...

On my way to Zumba, I listened to the episode of  That's So Retrograde about Somatic Experiencing and Mercier Massage. I had never heard of the latter. As I listened to the podcast, started thinking about the state of the world and my mind went biblical as in Where are the Davids to all of these Goliaths?

It was the next to last class for the Zumba teacher who is taking her talents to another facility. She played Last Dance by Donna Summer as the cool down song. Ooooh, that was like pouring salt into a wound. I saw several people crying.

This woman who attends three Zumba classes with me said that Zumba is not supposed to make you cry. True that...

With Ambivalence

On Saturday, went to hang out with my yoga classmates; it ended up being much longer than I had planned but it was a relaxing evening and I enjoyed talking with them and the chores can wait another week, month...

As we talked, my classmate Camille said that she was missing book club. Upon further discussion, Camille mentioned that they had read The Bluest Eye and I said that it really took listening to the audio version for me to fully appreciate this book. Camille asked if Morrison read her own book. Yes, I responded.

My yes lead me to listen to audio clips of The Bluest Eye and Song of Solomon. Hearing Morrison's voice was so sweet and it made me feel at ease.

After a month-long hiatus, went swimming last night. What I love about the latter part of the year is that the water is just a tad bit warmer. Don't really enjoy that open swim is moved back to 7:30 p.m. in the fall but I deal with it. I totally missed the water and my body felt properly stretched and in alignment afterward...

There's this woman who attends Zumba classes on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. I asked her tonight how she was doing and she said, with an ambivalent face, okay. I related.

Listened to about 40 minutes of the Kryptonite for the Inner Critic, Self-Compassion Series episode of 10% Happier then I moved on to different podcasts. For some reason, I gave it another try today and it was just what I needed.

Towards the end of yoga teacher training, I remember how Stacy said that she felt more generous and didn't feel the need to be so insular.

I'm not feeling very generous and after listening to most of Kryptonite, I know that's okay but I'm also looking forward to being more than okay.

Reminders

Went to Zumba on Saturday and that was quickly followed by leaf-raking.

During the really windy, snowy day - right after the 70 degree day, many leaves fell down. After I finished with leaves, chilled out until it was time to go to  a gathering with yoga classmates. Stayed longer than I intended but we were having a relaxing evening and catching up but goodbye Saturday...

Had not planned to but I just finished reading three books, back-to-back, about refugees, including one the 'Fugee gave me about a decade ago, After the Fall: Srebrenica Survivors in St. Louis. The one memory that pops into my mind is of people (seen via the news) trying to get water on Sniper Alley. Little did I know that many Bosnians would end up in St. Louis...

I'm taking a break from refugee stories to read yet another non-fiction book, An Embarrassment of Mangoes...

As I was heading home last night, I finished listening to the Scott episode of the Heavyweight podcast. I have liked most episodes but this one is definitely one of my favorites as it had an unexpected and soft ending.

Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my sound therapy course. To celebrate, I plan to buy myself a small gong on Black Friday or Cyber Monday

Three years ago, I was in Negril on a yoga retreat; darn those social media reminders.

Challenging

On Mondays I go a little bit out of my way to a Zumba class in the county.

Last week, the instructor let us know that she's taking a position at another fitness club in a frou-frou part of town. The class was an uncharacteristically quiet one. The teacher kept saying, "I'm not dead and you still have seven chances to dance with me and we're going to party it up and you can request your favorite songs and, as a matter of fact, you can still workout with me and, literally, request a spot."

I had a little dialogue going on inside my head about how nothing stays the same and how change is inevitable then I started planning to, possibly, shift around my schedule and I also started to think about classmates that I may not see again.

As we exited class, heard another student say that she wouldn't be able to make it to the other gym which is, literally, not a gym; it's like an intentional community. One of my coworkers is familiar with the the place and says that a day pass is $60 dollars...

Yesterday, it was 70 degrees. On my walk, I saw birds eating berries. When I looked up and saw the birds snacking, I was delighted.

Today was a different story. Supposedly, the streets were too warm for snow to build-up but it did build up, mostly, on the grass but it was persistent. My boss, who doesn't usually close or let us go home early, let us go home about an hour early.

Found out that Zumba was cancelled so I did the Latin Cardio on Amazon and a few Zumba videos on YouTube. Working out home is challenging.

Finished Zoya's Story, the second book in my campaign to read books that have been sitting on my bookshelves for a decade or more. 

Results

Just finished reading Letters to a Young Muslim. Heard Omar Saif Ghobash on On Being and instantly wanted to read it. Took me a couple of chapters to get into it but I liked it.

I'm going to try to start reading books that have been sitting on my shelves for years. First, I got Walter Mosley's Bad Boy Brawly Brown off the shelf. The very first sentence had less than five words but it reminded me of my dad. We watched Devil in a Blue Dress together and I remember how much he liked the character, Mouse.

It's kind of funny. I almost feel like I had a false start with BBBB at one point as it feels familiar...

Got to the gym and this woman asked me if I was going to Zumba. She had read the schedule and decided to try it. I told her that I couldn't stand the machines anymore. Her response, "Do you get better results with Zumba?" LOL, I haven't thought about results in a very long time. I just know that exercise is good for you and that it is good for me in many ways.

Went by the post office and the clerk asked if I wanted any particular stamps and I said, "The peace stamps." She looked puzzled and pointed to the stamps that I wanted and she said, "Oh, the Woodstock stamp." I said, "Yeah, it says ...peace and music forever..." The clerk started laughing very energetically. She had never noticed the words and then she pointed to the sizable poster on the wall and she said, "Oh my God, I'm so stupid."

I assured her that we all miss things.

She was still laughing as I walked away.

Wonder

Mighty Mississippi

I have bicycled more this month than I've bicycled all year.

I find myself craving more sleep on Saturdays and even 10:40 a.m. seems too early to exit the house for Zumba.

Saturday was a really good day for bicycling too -- left the house around 11:30 for a short ride, about seven miles, but I wasn't looking to ride for a long time so it worked for me. 

Saw fishermen as I usually do and I wonder if I would eat something out of the Mississippi River. Mentioned it to my brother and he'd seen a documentary, City Limits Fishing. Apparently, the Mississippi has lots of catfish. 

The workday was horrid. Didn't even feel like going to Monday Zumba which is usually my end-of-workday prize but I did go and felt better afterward.

Spring Rider

Went to a slow flow/restorative yoga class on Friday and spotted Stacy after class since it was a yoga teacher training weekend.

She told me and another yoga teacher "This is not a sustainable lifestyle." Tell me about it...

One of my colleagues that's in her 20's said that she feels like a robot. Tell me about it...

Before I saw Stacy on Friday, I saw a post that she put on social media saying that she had five days off between now and the end of the year. She wants to collaborate with more people but... time.

I have given up on how frequently I wash my hair, clean out the fish tank etc...

Went for a bike ride on Saturday and as I headed that way, I thought about how I probably would have to wear my long-sleeved shirt around my waist. Wrong! I had forgotten about how it's colder around water. I'm such a spring/summer rider that it didn't occur to me that it would be cold and windy. The weather was definitely an incentive to keep moving though.

Geese Strategy

Saw this sweet story on CBS Sunday morning about this 93-year-old who opened a bakery. The story provided much needed inspiration.

Starting Somewhere Else

There have been times when I've been on the St. Louis Riverfront Trail and it's felt like a vacation. Maybe it's the combination of being unplugged, chatting with people and seeing the animals that live there.

At some point during the week, I saw that the temperature would be perfect and I also saw that part of the trail is closed for construction. No matter, I plotted to start at the "end" of the route as opposed to the "beginning."

Got to the Chain of Rocks Bridge and saw that they had closed the parking lot so I turned around and started somewhere else. Also debated about whether I wanted to actually go back in the direction of the bridge because there are wicked hills on that part of the trail.

In the end, decided to give myself a gentle bike ride and I walked my bike up the hills and I didn't try to get to the middle of the bridge. I've only been on my bike about two times this year so I wanted to ease my way back in. So, today, I gave myself the gift of a gentle ride and a pass on chores.

The hill that doesn't look very hilly in this picture.

By the way, Gingerzingi, it was totally brave of you to take that level three vacation...

The Nosedive

Wanted to stay home last night but knew that I would have regrets if I didn't go swimming since I only go once a week and that's not guaranteed lately.

Couldn't find my go-to goggles and, reluctantly, grabbed my back-up pair. Tried to put a positive spin on it like It's lovely to have two pairs of goggles.  The back-up pair is prone to leaking but I made it work.

Got to the school and there was an event so parking was scarce. I almost gave up but then parked away from the pool house then hiked to my destination as my energy took a nosedive.

The locker room was more crowded than usual so I didn't bother to stop and just took my top layer off poolside. Before I did, though, this guy who has been coming to the pool for a long time spotted my Motivated tank and he almost died laughing because I did not look motivated at all.

The water was chilly (as usual) so I stood there and talked to my pool friend for a bit. Somehow, I managed to get in 18 laps and enjoyed most of them too.

When I got home and unpacked my swimming paraphernalia, my #1 pair of goggles fell out of one of the plastic bags that I keep in my pool bag...

As I checked the news, people were talking about the Botham Jean verdict and a lot of people are, rightly, angry. I saw a quote not too long ago and I don't remember it verbatim but it said something like racism destroys you from the inside.

On a yet another note, I'm glad that the Finnish reporter didn't treat Trump with kid gloves.

Altogether

My next-door neighbor happened to stop by on my birthday and she came back the next day sharing flowers that she somehow inherited. It was a lovely and huge bouquet.

Right before my birthday, the 'Fugee's niece stopped by to bring me something from the 'Fugee and I was totally surprised when she rounded the corner with flowers. I could feel the smile spread across my face...

Finished with the Restorative Yoga with Singing Bowls series or, as Jocelyn dubbed it, the Restorative Sound Experience. I'm going to miss it.

Told Jocelyn that I see why people want their own yoga studios. There's only so much space on the class roster. Soooo, I've been looking at places to possibly rent by the hour. The most affordable one is usually booked solid. Plus, it's not accessible so it wouldn't be a great fit anyway.

I'm a bit shocked by how much places charge for rentals. I wish money wasn't the bottom line for so many experiences... I keep thinking about how so many yoga teacher trainings have that teach yoga or deepen your practice verbiage built in. For me, it's been hard to resist the yoga/sound therapy call even though I went into training for the deepen my practice... part.

We are on schedule for three times in December for our Restorative Sound Experience but what to do with myself during this two-month hiatus? Of course, I also have plenty to do and plenty that needs to be done -- like my eternal uncluttering project...

Not sure why I hadn't listened to the Oprah's Super Soul podcast before but I checked it out. The first episode that I chose was Marie Forleo's  Everything Is Figureoutable and then, as I cooked yesterday, listened to the Shaka Senghor's episode Prison Taught Him the Power of Love, Forgiveness and Redemption. Both episodes were uplifting. On the way to Zumba today, I listened to part of the Tracy Morgan episode.

Also finished listening to the very powerful Living on Overtime episode of 10% Happier and, on Sunday, I watched the segment of  CBS Sunday Morning with Jim and Jeannie Gaffigan.

Altogether, the various episodes were moving reminders about love and seizing the moment.

Carried Away...

Didn't have any major plans for my birthday and, in fact, did not really feel like celebrating. My aunt G, though, usually asks "What are we going to do?"

I like to go to breakfast for my birthday but knew that my mother would not be up in time. Thought about taking a trek to St. Genevieve but nixed the idea when LaBonne Bouchee, a French bakery/restaurant, popped into my head. My aunt and mom enjoyed the little field trip and the food was tasty...

Hand-washed my car as I hadn't done it in ages. Plus, it needed to go the dealer for a minor recall and I didn't want it to look like an uncared for car.

For the rest of the day, I chilled out until it was time for Restorative Yoga with Singing Bowls -- a class that I've been doing with a YTT classmate. Last night was our sixth outing.

Love seeing people who look completely relaxed and I love to hear the sound of snoring. A woman who came last night said that it was as if the singing bowls were carrying her stress away...

Went to take care of the recall today and I normally wait on my car then walk to a coffee shop. Spotted a bagel place along the way and decided that I wanted to go there. Imagine the horror when I discovered that I didn't have my wallet after I had placed the order. Had my coin purse but since I had washed my car, there were only nickels, pennies and dimes in it which didn't add up to enough to cover my bill.

Told the cashier and the guy let me have the bagel anyway. That was so nice of him. Checked out his badge and I'm planning to send the money back via mail.

I usually carry my wallet without the purse when I take my singing bowls because it’s once less thing to worry about gathering. Lesson learned though.

Unfettered

About a week ago, thought about how nice my knee felt; it was so unfettered. Well, I must have jinxed it.

When I didn't have the luxury of having a super tight knee, it started to feel inflamed and all-around weird. Helped to prepare for a festival this past weekend and definitely missed moving around with ease.

One of my colleagues asked me if I had bursitis. I don't know and don't know if I want to get an MRI. I did the PT exercises that Gingerzingi shared with me and it feels much better. It's amazing to me that so many of the moves are yoga-related moves and it's also amazing how the constriction alleviates.

For months now, I've been in the "yoga snacks" lane -- practicing for about 10 minutes a day but I need to make a commitment to do, at least, 30 minutes of daily yoga...

Finished reading How We Live Our Yoga and, now, I'm without a book to read so I'm reading a Yoga International magazine and the 1619 Project.

Searched for the 10% Happier episode with Sebene Selassie when I came upon another one of her interviews on Hurry Slowly. Selassie likes to say that none of us are auto-didacts and that we don't learn on our own. In the Hurry Slowly episode she says, Our evolution from birth to now -- everything we've learned, we've learned from society.  She said I've learned language and ideas through other human beings. She goes on to say that even when we think we're not being repetitive, we are.

What she said about language really resonated with me...

Also listened to the first episode of the 1619 Project podcast. The sound effects and Nikole Hannah-Jones' narration make for a captivating episode.

Other people who have also lost heir minds:

Rejoicing

Moonflower, I think...

Finished Tara Westover's Educated the other day and it's one of those books that sticks with you. Her upbringing sounded so unreal that I was glad that she put author's notes in there about it being fact-checked. Westover also consulted with siblings about memories and where the memories vary, there are footnotes.

Next, I'm on to reading How We Live Our Yoga...

I want to get my hands on the 1619 Project; it's free to read online but my visual stamina for reading on a device is not that great.

Listened to the 10% Happier episode about Sharon Salzberg's medical emergency. Dan Harris mentions something about taking two steps back and Salzberg says that those steps are never as far back as we think they are then asks Can we rejoice more (about accomplishments) instead of focusing on those "backward" steps?

The importance of rejoicing is always a hard lesson to learn.

Also listened to an 11 minute meditation with Sebene Selassie on 10% Happier. It was great and I'm thinking about subscribing to 10%...

I'm having another wild Friday night. I cut the grass, took a shower and did about 20 minutes of yoga.

Days Late...

One of the presenters, Jana Long, for Yoga As A Peace Practice encouraged us to grow something -- a pot of, say, basil -- something.

Recently listened to Ross Gay's Tending Joy and Practicing Delight, an episode of the On Being podcast and he mentioned that his life got better when he started growing things.

Guess that I will forgive myself for that one time that I killed mint and a cactus and try to grow something again and see where it takes me.

Speaking of On Being and growing things, Jerico Brown's poem, Foreday in the Morning, blew me away.

And speaking of writers, someone saw me post about Toni Morrison and the person expressed shocked -- I know that Toni Morrison was old but... I know exactly what she meant.

The tweet below was the one that made me teary-eyed.

And thanks Saeed Jones for this excerpt from Beloved:

And this...:

The world right now, wow...

So So Much

Was deeply ensconced in this training called Yoga As A Peace Practice this weekend. It's a training offered by the Black Yoga Teachers Association with the following goals:

...to facilitate, create and introduce contemplative practices, rooted in the philosophical tenets of the niyamas, restorative and kriya yoga and culturally relevant themes, and to offer them in ways that are accessible to individuals and communities where trauma from violence exists.

I always feel guilty about saucha, one of the niyamas. My environment is really cluttered but,  somehow, I have to move beyond feeling paralyzed about it and get myself out of this situation.

At any rate, it was an intense but inspiring weekend. I've felt like gentle and restorative yoga is my thing and I feel an even greater commitment to it now. I also went to a birthday party on Saturday. I had RSVP'd before the yoga workshop got on my radar. 

The person sitting next to me at the party said that she's not flexible and that's hard for me to hear but I try to take time to explain that, really, flexibility is not required...

Because I was at the workshop, I heard the news about the mass shooting late. It was a punch to the gut on so many levels and when I heard about the second one, wow. I feel like Pandora’s box has been opened. 

So so much has been going on. 

About how I'm feeling right now:

If I get killed in a mass shooting please cremate me and throw my ashes into Mitch McConnell’s and Dana Loesch’s eyes while I’m still smoldering.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 5, 2019

Differently

This woman that I know and follow on Instagram posted a story that said You sleep differently when you don't have to go to work in the morning. So true...

I was off today and the one thing on my agenda was Gloria's yoga class. Haven't seen her in two years. With her Sunday class being in an 8:30 a.m. slot, I have almost no motivation to make it at that time because I don't feel like rushing to get up on a non-work day. Her one evening class is on the same night as Zumba and always feel like I need cardio more but I shouldn't be so inflexible with my thinking; One missed day of Zumba won't hurt...

After class Gloria told us that she spends 10 minutes on the hydro-massage table and I was going to pass it up but she went to the desk and got five of us set up. In order to access the table on a regular basis, I would need to upgrade my membership but, let me tell you, that was a delightful and relaxing 10 minutes. Cannot believe that I have turned my nose up at those tables before.

Keeping My Cool

The last time that I went swimming was on April 23^rd. Knew that it had been a while as I used Tuesday to catch up on yoga sequencing or to just rest but it's still hard to believe that it's been almost two months. Couldn’t seem to make getting to the pool on the weekend work.

On Tuesday, I felt a strong urge to swim and almost gave up when I couldn’t find the goggles that I wanted. Kept my cool and eventually found my goggles.

Got to the pool and had this exchange:

Me to Lifeguard:         Hi, how are you?
Lifeguard:                   Good and how are you?
Me:                              Fine.
Lifeguard:                   YOU haven’t been here in a while.

I chuckled. The lifeguard is a coach and it shows.

It felt good to be in the water again. For some reason, my Fitbit no longer detects when I get in the pool. It has only detected swimming once and it has malfunctioned already. I do like the silent alarms and the slimness of this Fitbit but Garmin Vivofit seems to have been more functional. At any rate, I enjoyed my swim and I could tell the different areas of my body that were worked...

Collaborated with one of my YTT mates on a Pop-Up Restorative Yoga with Singing Bowls event. People seemed to have found restoration and I'm amazed by how many people enjoy singing bowls. I'll definitely collaborate with my classmate again; we just need to figure out a few things like what day and how often etc. etc. .

So, yeah, when does a pop-up event cease to be a pop-up?

Daylong

Yesterday at work, we had a self-care day that was initiated by the staff appreciation committee; they did a great job of turning a conference room into a haven. There were puzzle, meditation and yoga stations along with soothing music and a tranquility fountain.

I decided to crash self-care day, with permission, by doing a pop-up sound meditation with singing bowls. A couple of people were familiar with singing bowls but I wasn't sure how it would go over with others. As with yoga it's hard to tell, sometimes, what's resonating with people but a couple of people thanked me and someone told me that the sound meditation was lovely...

Stayed at home on Tuesday while a new HVAC system was installed and, yes, it was a pretty penny but I can't complain as the old system was a relic.

Prior to the installation, there was the specialness of getting the problem diagnosed, getting bids and getting over the shock of the price. During the daylong installation, I pretty much read. It was hard to get involved in much else. Even though I didn't see the technicians a lot, they sometimes needed access to additional outlets or to let me know about ladder placement etc.

Otherwise, what have I been up to? Reading, working, working out and all manner of adulting.

On The Downswing

Did I mention that I've been browsing through a lot of yoga books? I've gotten a lot of elements for sequences this way; sometimes the elements work and sometimes they don't but, overall, the books have been super helpful and interesting.

From the library...

Decided to try this "move" called chopping wood. Imagine you're holding an imaginary axe above your head (with both hands), you tuck your chin on the downswing and then you repeat that about 10 times. It's a heat-building move. 

One of my colleagues, who hasn't been to yoga in about a month or more, came yesterday and she took to chopping wood like a fish takes to water. When we finished, that particular colleague looked extremely satisfied; she said that one of her office mates, who'd had a rough day, could have totally used that move...

Went to my yoga trainer's class this evening. Hadn't seen her in a long time and was craving her teaching style. The class that I went to is described as Yoga Fusion: sweet flow, deep stretching  and restorative. I didn't go for the flow and, afterwards, Stacy said I hope you didn't want to kill me at the beginning and I told her No, I knew what I was getting into. That class made me so relaxed -- even before the restorative part. Also, it's nice to have a teacher who knows what style of yoga you like... 

Got tagged in an Instagram post today and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

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Erin here 👋🏼. Let’s talk about REAL self care (aka not what’s thrust upon you as self care by the wellness industry). I just went to my first @tuesdaystogetherstl hosted by @ashleypieperphotography @leahstrickman @rudysflowertruck and @sweetsarahmariephotography and it was all about caring for yourself as a business owner. These ladies did a wonderful job! We had yoga led by @andrea_mw and meditation by @yesiamjudd. I’ll admit, I arrived frazzled after a long day of meetings, errands and editing. I was NOT ready to relax with yoga but after a few minutes, my mindset shifted. It can be hard to feel like you even have time to slow down and reflect. But here’s the thing: If you take the time for the mental break you need, you’ll be more refreshed and energized for your work ahead. If you aren’t there for yourself, you won’t have the mental capacity to be there for your clients or customers. Self care doesn’t have to be instagrammable, and it doesn’t have to be something you purchase. It can be as simple as getting an extra hour of sleep, putting down your laptop to take your dog for a walk or even just making sure you get plenty of water. I cannot tell you how much I appreciated my first Tuesdays Together. It’s like the universe knew I was running on empty ;). thethinkbigworkshop.comm

A post shared by The Think Big Workshop (@thethinkbigworkshop) on May 16, 2019 at 9:51am PDT

Theme For The Evening

Went to a sound meditation on the SIUE campus on Friday night. Somehow, I had no idea about the Fuller Dome, also known as the Center for Spirituality and Sustainability.

I don't have a ton of energy on Fridays but knew that I could rest once I got there. Plus, sound meditation in a dome! Had to check it out.

Didn't go to that special place that I usually go to during a sound meditation but I still found it relaxing.

I was really drawn to the Burmese gong and the dolphin singing bowl. The latter is an acquired taste but it has called my name before and it was definitely calling my name during the event...

One of my former colleagues asked me if I would teach 15 minutes of yoga to this group that she attends called TuesdaysTogether. Their theme for this meeting was self-care. There was also a meditation teacher there as well and he went after me.

It was my first time teaching outdoors and I felt out of synch. Also, it's hard to tell, sometimes, if you're resonating with people. This woman came up afterwards to tell me that she enjoyed the yoga and she wasn't sure if she'd like outdoor yoga so she'd asked a friend to come along. She liked it and will look around for more outdoor classes.

Another woman told me that she was cranky beforehand and those 15 minutes of yoga helped her to relax.

Found it interesting that out of all the entrepreneurs, there were more photographers than any other profession represented.

You Cannot Prepare

Went to observe and assist a yoga class for one of my YTT mates' service project when a woman, Stephanie, with vision impairment approached us. A woman that Stephanie knows was looking for a yoga teacher for National Blind Sports Day.

I bellyached about minding my own business and the fact that there are more qualified yoga teachers in this area but after looking up information and seeing the percentage of blind and visually impaired individuals who don't get regular exercise, I agreed to teach. Overall, it just felt meant to be -- seeing that I was out of my normal routine when I met Stephanie and given my love of exercising.

Thankfully, when I reached out to my other classmates, someone else agreed to assist.

National Blind Sports Day was yesterday. I have a certain amount of naivete that works in my favor at times.

Some of the conditions for yoga yesterday:

Newbies

Outdoors

20 people ranging in age from 10 to 65

We ended up not having yoga at the park because there weren't enough staff at the school that hosted the event for some of the staff to be at the park and for others to be at the school. I understood, from a logistics point, why the organizer wanted to have yoga in the park but I'm glad that we ended up practicing in the school's gymnasium because it was a challenging enough class without adding the outdoors.

Back to my naivete...

I prepared for that class but there was no real way to prepare. I'm not sure if I should have even planned a sequence. About a month ago, I watched a video on Yoga Alliance about adaptive yoga with Matthew Sanford and he pretty much said that you cannot prepare your way through an adaptive yoga class. What he said about it being a collaborative process is so true.

What I didn't want to do yesterday was ruin anyone's first yoga experience.

So many thoughts have crossed my mind -- before and after the class. As Jocelyn said, we could have easily used two other teachers and I wondered if I was doing harm by agreeing to teach the class with less than four teachers.

Forgot a few things like offering people an option during savasana. Luckily, Jocelyn's radar was intact and she caught that and offered options.

I'm glad that I took my singing bowls. While I played, Jocelyn provided savasana assists and she went around the room with lavender oil which smelled amazing.

My strategy might not have been the best but my intentions were good and I'm going to give myself a break.  I also think there's that part of me that needs to take chill out a bit and not take things so seriously.

Yoga Teacher Essentials

Double Backed

Interesting and lovely occurrences today.

Two of my co-workers emailed me to say that they couldn't make it to yoga but they've been enjoying the classes.

Another co-worker told me that Wednesday is one of her favorite days for two reasons and yoga is one of the reasons.

After class, a fourth co-worker double backed to tell me what she had appreciated about the class.

It's as if they knew that I had been feeling like an impostor of late...

Decided to get a logo made. Curiosity got the best of me. Here's part of the logo with a watermark still on it.

I like the way it turned out.

Breadcrumbs

There were so many happenings this weekend that it was difficult to choose.

Went to an African Ancestry situation at the library. Got some information but not the breadcrumbs that I was looking for. I did leave with about 10 yoga books though. Later in the day, I went to a gathering with my fellow yoga teacher graduates that had been planned about a month ago; I had a nice time as we caught up. Camille hosted the event and made most of the dishes. Everyone else brought desserts and appetizers.

Part of the Yoga Crew

On Sunday, I met up with a friend, Lori, whom I hadn't seen in ages and we saw Your Immigration Stories, Mine and Ours. The production was put on by That Uppity Theatre Company which has a Playback Now! wing that does improvisational theatre.

I was a little disappointed because the verbiage said immigrants and refugees but the stories were all immigrant stories. However, I was almost glad that they didn't do refugee stories because the immigrant stories had me crying.

Uppity started by asking everyone if they knew what improv was and most people did but I love that they still gave examples. The director asked a couple of people how they felt and someone gave one answer and she asked her if she was feeling anything else because people rarely feel one emotion. The audience member answered tired and her friend said irritable. So, two actors did tired and irritable. Plus, there was a musician that accompanied their improv; it was good and funny and the whole show was poignant.

Before the improv started, we had a moment of silence for the victims of the shooting at the California synagogue. As the director said, The terrorist act that happened on Passover...

First Ride

Got in my first 2019 bike ride.

Went down my usual road on the riverfront and was met by part of the levee that isn't usually in place. Weeks before riding, the river crossed my mind and then I forgot about it. We got as far as mile six when we met water on the road. It wasn't that deep but it was muddy. I have memories of being caught in the rain on a hike and how I almost fell several times because of mud.

We saw one of those hardcore bicyclists and his friend had gone through the water but he was like I'm not going through that -- you don't know what's in that water...

We saw many animals on the trail: frogs, turtles and turkeys. A guy at the visitors' center told us that a geese had attacked him. When we approached the geese, I rang my bell. One hissed at  me but no attacks. When we saw the goslings later on, we knew why the geese were on the defensive.

It's amazing how animals and nature make you feel connected.

Oooh, I like the new artwork at the beginning of the trail.

Went to Zumba tonight and saw one of my new Zumba friends. I had noticed her absence and when I talked to her after class, she said that she hadn't been feeling well at all and she talked about how fragile she felt and how she'd barely moved. She also felt guilty for only walking and I told her that's what I did when I first became active again and I reminded her how experts extol the virtues of walking.